THe Greatest Gift of All
May 20, 2007 04:37 PM EDT
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This Christmas was the first Christmas in years that I hadn’t woken up at 6 a.m. in the morning to open presents. My parents and I had an agreement after the year before when my father had to drag me out of bed. I used to love getting up early, but not anymore. I love my sleep, and anything that messes with my sleep is in for trouble. I was excited still, but the present opening would begin until none. This year somehow was more special. I don’t know why, but I still look on it fondly. I woke about around eight a.m. I even set my alarm. I wasn’t allowed to open any presents until my father got home. He had to sing with the choir at 9 a.m. mass as always. My grandma would end up coming around the same time .I raced downstairs to look through my stocking and all it held. There was the usual candy, and Christmas socks. Also mixed in was an assortment of little doodads and a handheld game. My brother James was still asleep. My mother was reading, or doing something productive. I can’t remember exactly its all kind of fuzzy now. My father finally arrived home. My grandmother was already on the couch. I was excited, but not for the reason you would think. I wasn’t excited about getting a gift. There was one gift I was giving to my brother that I was nervous about. It was a letter. It was a letter to him telling him everything that I felt and fell now about him. All the hard stuff and easy stuff to tell him was in that manila envelope. I had also decided to share some personal things with him. Why would I do this you ask? My brother and I mostly stay out of each other’s way. That way we don’t fight or drag our parents into some mini drama. I admit that I’d held some things over the years about James. I couldn’t fully forgive him for some the things he said to me, or the mistakes he’d made involving me. I had finally let things go, and I was ready to make things better between him and me. That letter was the first step. Everything else was gravy I didn’t care as much about my gifts or the other things my Mom had gotten for him that was supposed to be from me. He finally opened it. He read it as other presents were being passed around. I noticed that he seemed only to skim over it. He didn’t even look at me. I was disappointed to say the least. I had had this idea in my mind of how it was supposed to go, and this was not it. The rest of the day went okay, but some of my disappointment showed.After reading that you are probably wondering why I liked that Christmas so much. I was truly honest with James and myself for once. The feeling s and emotions I had had about him and our relationship was finally out in the open. A great amount of weight and guilt had been lifted from me. That felt great even if he had no response. I would find out later that he did have a response. He appreciated my honestly and what I had said. We’re sill working on the relationship part of things. We talk to each other through e-mails mostly. He’s really busy so he doesn’t always get time to respond. I know he reads all of my e-mails though hand that’s what counts. We will never be the perfect siblings, but its better now. I don’t regret a thing that I’ve gone through with him because it led us here. It was all worth it, to have a better relationship with him. That is the greatest gift I could ever receive.
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