As I am apparently being drafted to run for the nation’s highest office, I thought I should clarify my positions on several key issues.
Unlike most politicians, I like to keep my political patter on the lean side.
Therefore, instead of a “white paper” I offer you my Political Post-it Notes.
The Economy: It’s not economic.
Foreign Policy: It’s time to stop telling everyone else in the world what is best for them.
Immigration: Who wants to take the chance we are turning away at the border a future Nobel prize winning scientist or the next American Idol winner?
Health: If anyone in America is sick (and I mean anyone,) the government should pay for the phone call to his/her doctor and the two aspirin a day he will prescribe.
Education: You can’t get enough but your teacher knows best how to teach you, not someone in Washington.
The Environment: We’re treating our outside home like my cousin Ray Bob used to treat his inside home — and that’s not good.
Taxes: I never met a tax I liked.
If you want more information, here are some position papers I have published before on Gather.
Foreign Policy related
Is it time to bomb Peoria?
Society related
Bending the rules ...
Old and Fat — America’s New Goals
Employment related
Outsourcing America Instead of Jobs
Outsourcing non-work - another solution for the economy
Human (and other) rights related
Plant Rights
Save Our Endangered Vegetables
Economy and taxes
Don’t Pay Taxes This Year - Designate Them!
Immigration
Illegal Avians
Global Issues
Solution to global warming-Just say "No!" to breathing
Politics and Humor
Writing Essentials: Humor Monday-Political Humor
Playing Political Chicken
I welcome you comments and suggestions. That is why the word “Partial” is included in the title of this article — to leave me plenty of wiggle and waffle room.
Unlike most politicians, I like to keep my political patter on the lean side.
Therefore, instead of a “white paper” I offer you my Political Post-it Notes.
The Economy: It’s not economic.
Foreign Policy: It’s time to stop telling everyone else in the world what is best for them.
Immigration: Who wants to take the chance we are turning away at the border a future Nobel prize winning scientist or the next American Idol winner?
Health: If anyone in America is sick (and I mean anyone,) the government should pay for the phone call to his/her doctor and the two aspirin a day he will prescribe.
Education: You can’t get enough but your teacher knows best how to teach you, not someone in Washington.
The Environment: We’re treating our outside home like my cousin Ray Bob used to treat his inside home — and that’s not good.
Taxes: I never met a tax I liked.
If you want more information, here are some position papers I have published before on Gather.
Foreign Policy related
Is it time to bomb Peoria?
Society related
Bending the rules ...
Old and Fat — America’s New Goals
Employment related
Outsourcing America Instead of Jobs
Outsourcing non-work - another solution for the economy
Human (and other) rights related
Plant Rights
Save Our Endangered Vegetables
Economy and taxes
Don’t Pay Taxes This Year - Designate Them!
Immigration
Illegal Avians
Global Issues
Solution to global warming-Just say "No!" to breathing
Politics and Humor
Writing Essentials: Humor Monday-Political Humor
Playing Political Chicken
I welcome you comments and suggestions. That is why the word “Partial” is included in the title of this article — to leave me plenty of wiggle and waffle room.
Thanks for your help and support.
John
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Comments: 174
V.P? I'm available at the moment.
Or, you can walk away right now as Director of FEMA.
That video was a hoot John - glad to see you running.
I need folks with eagle eyes like yours.
(Whew! Thought I'd have to pay someone to take that.)
Welcome aboard the Campaign Express.
However the big jobs have to wait until we do intensive voter research and analysis.
I'm going to the No Name Bar here tonight for just such information.
Your name is on this list.
Tahiti is definitely a possibility. French would be very nice. Our politicians have gone too long expecting everyone else to speak English.
Now, where is that store?
Yours make alot of sense, John, and so you have my continuing support. Will you be a write-in shoo-in or are you planning to start a new party?
New parties carry a lot of baggage, it seems.
My sister lives in D.C. and knows all the politicos but we'd probably fight over what TV Channel to watch so I am on the lookout for viable candidates.
Your name is on the list.
I have noted your name in the Big Book.
What do you think of the Humor Party?
Putting the fun back in politics.
Gone are the days of trying to confuse the electorate, and the congress, with a lot of weasly words.
I guess we will have to have one, Judi.
His Grand Exalted High president is humble enough for me.
Just kidding. When elected I expect to be called "Hey, you" just like now.
Taxes: I never met a tax I liked.
"The Surgeon General has determined that living is hazardous to your health."
Certainly a "grabber" but I'm not sure if it's a vote-getter.
I have more words I could add but that's a slippery slope.
I'm not doing this alone.
That way we'll be sure to capture the "lazy voter," who at last count were 73% of those eligible to cast a ballot.
Interested in being campaign manager? I'm building a list.
P.S. You'd have my vote even if you remained mute. In political parlance, maybe keeping quiet is a Good thing.
Everyone needs lots of energy.
So... drink more coffee. Work less. Get lots of rest. Plenty of sex is good too. Try working out a little.
Energy matters!!! (thats your slogan, which is pretty good, because it includes everything in the universe.).
OK, I nominate myself for Secretary of the Interior. I know it has nothing to do with energy, but it seems like an easy job.
Putting your name on the list.
Never do politics on an empty stomach unless the only alternative is campaign circuit chicken a la King.
That's why my platform is mostly post-it notes. Too many words, too many areas to be attacked.
coffee.
"I nominate myself for Secretary of the Interior. I know it has nothing to do with energy, but it seems like an easy job'
That's OK. No one knows what that job is.
I was thinking instead of foreign policies, maybe we'd just have one policy — so we can remember it when traveling abroad.
You'll be the third to know.
Just don't breathe! That was hilarious!
It reminded me of what my mother used to say when we fogged up the windows in her car during the winter. She would tell us constantly when she said she couldn't see out the front windshield, "Stop breathing!"
Thank you for posting to Make me Laugh
First of all, they'll want to see you elementary school diploma.
I say it's never too early to start the IMPEACH JOHN PHILIPP NOW!! campaign. It's just what you need to get press coverage.....that and an extra-maritial affair, or even an extra-martial affair
In California it appears that the legislature is driven by Republicans refusing to raise taxes and Democrats refusing to cut programs. We're getting nowhere fast — very fast and very nowhere!
And, while I am against extra-marital affairs on principle, press coverage is important.
Do I have to be married to have one of those? Just asking.
Re: campaign manager, I'm just building a list of candidates. You're on it.
Re: Humor Party, thought it was my idea but who knows where ideas come from. If we win there will be plenty of kudos to spread around us all.
You haven't been meeting secretly with anyone in hotel rooms right?
Maybe we can exchange campaign tricks/I mean tactics.