The First Time

Is it true? This will be the first time?

Yes. You'll be famous, in an infamous sort of way.

Will it hurt?

Given the nature of the operation I would not expect much pain. You will have some disorientation.

Okay, I'm ready. Wait. One more question. Will you stay with me?

There's no choice. This is a dynamic procedure. Interaction allows the seed to grow and establish itself.

Ouch, whadda you doing? That's not my brain.

Just a sedative. To relax you for the procedure.

You said I'd be awake.

You will. This will just calm you. It's not an anesthetic.

What's that noise?

The electric drill.

DRILL!

Sorry, bad choice of words … it's an inter-cranial auger.

Isn't auger another word for drill?

This isn't really a drill as you think of a drill. This just makes a little hole in your skull so we can insert the PTW.

The what?

The Personality Trait Worm. We discussed all this last week.

Oh, yeah. How much will the drill hurt?

Not much. There are no pain cells in the brain.

What about on the way to the brain?

Uh … you'll just feel a little pressure.

That's what the dentist says.

The dentist? … hmmmm, yes, something like that.

The dentist is a liar.

Oh … I … Are you ready now?

You didn't answer my question.

Sorry, which question was that?

Will it hurt?

I said not much.

That's the wrong answer. The right answer is, "No. It won't hurt at all." Anything less means it will hurt a lot.

Hmmmm.

What are you doing to my head? I can feel you doing something to my head.

Pacing off the right location with my fingers.

Isn't that sort of, uh, unscientific.

No, no, it's very scientific. I know the exact length of my finger stride. I've done this hundreds of times.

What happened to the first guy?

That was experimental.

Hundreds of times? I thought you said this was the first.

It is the first personality transplant, but brain surgery has been around since the Mayans.

Did they pace off with their fingers too?

Hmmmm.

You know that's really annoying.

What?

When you go "Hmmmm." It makes me think there's something you're not telling me.

Maybe there is.

What!

I said maybe there is.

Why would you say that?

Why do you think I'd say that.

Because you want me to laugh and relax?

That's one possibility.

What's the other?

Other what?

Other possibility.

Why do there have to be two. Maybe there are three possibilities.

Stop playing with my head.

There. I have.

That's a nice tie.
Certainly is, compared to that fugitive from the Bad Taste Emporium you're wearing.

Mrs. Welles. Doctor Thornton here.
Yes, it went quite well. It's a little early yet, but I think you'll be pleased. He actually insulted my tie a few minutes ago.
No, I'm not kidding.
Not for a few weeks. I think it's best he be with people he doesn't know to let the new behavior patterns strengthen. If he sees family too soon, he might be nice, out of habit.
Oh, no. Once the anger's settled in, it will always be there. His days of being bullied are over.
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