Commonly heard phrases during conversations about race...

It is hard to believe that some people still misinterpret my motives for talking about race and racism. It’s even harder to believe, but still very instructive, that they are absolutely certain that they know my motives. This actually says quite a lot about them and how they feel about race and racism. Indeed, an examination of the posts in this very thread is terribly instructive of some of the difficulties of trying to address the subject of race. There is lingering resentment and, too often, erroneous assumptions that people bring with them to the discussion. Some people just pick up and leave rather than feel uncomfortable or challenged. They then go about posting a revisionist history of their time here to make themselves look good, which, along with their leaving, does nothing to either advance the discussion for the group or expand their understanding of the issues involved. That’s life, I guess.

In the United States these days, conversations about race will eventually get you a set of standard responses. Let’s take them in turn:

“Color doesn’t matter.”

Really? Okay then why the high drama when “Guess who’s coming to dinner” plays out in your own home? Why are parents threatening to keep their children home from school to keep them from hearing the President of the United States talk about staying in school and getting an education. After all, Ronald Reagan spoke to the same audience and even talked about cutting taxes during his speech, but there was no hysterics around that speech and the students remained in school. Then again, resentment against the most visible black authority figure speaking to children is to be expected, given our nation’s history. What they may mean is that color shouldn’t matter. I agree, but here in this country, at this time, color matters, believe me.

The only people who truly believe that the color of skin doesn’t matter in this country are either deluded or white. Why, you ask? Simply put, if you’re white, most of the time and in most places, your color doesn’t really matter, that is, you will very likely not experience any adverse effects because of your skin color. Of course color doesn’t matter to you! Why would it? It matters to the rest of us very much, whether or not we want it to matter

Patricia J. Williams recounts an experience that demonstrates how this bromide can backfire. “My son used to attend a small nursery school. Over the course of one year, three different teachers in his school assured me that he was color-blind. Resigned to this diagnosis, I took my son to an ophthalmologist who tested him and pronounced his vision perfect. I could not figure out what was going on until I began to listen carefully to what he was saying about color. As it turned out, my son did not misidentify color. He resisted identifying color at all. ‘I don’t know,’ he would say when asked what color the grass was; or, most peculiarly, ‘It makes no difference.’ This latter remark, this assertion of the greenness of grass making no difference, was such a precociously cynical retort, that I began to suspect some social complication in which he was somehow invested.”

“The long and short of it is that the well-meaning teachers at his predominantly white school had valiantly and repeatedly assured their charges that color makes no difference. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ they told the children, ‘whether you’re black or white or red or green or blue.’ Yet on further investigation the very reason that the teachers had felt it necessary to impart this lesson in the first place was the it did matter, and in predictably cruel ways: some of the children had been fighting about whether black people could play “good guys.” Oh, but color doesn’t matter.

“I don’t even see race.”

There might be people who don’t see race, but it’s likely they don’t live in the United States, or if they do they are likely artists and living in New York or Los Angeles. Generalization? Yes, sort of tongue in cheek. If you live in the US and you don’t see race, it’s time to get your eyes examined. We see race here. Not everyone reacts when they see race, but we see it. And yes, it functions with a whole host of other factors in deciding who we are attracted to, who our friends are likely to be, who we hang out with, and who we marry. “I don’t even see race,” is a lie that some people tell themselves to inoculate themselves from scrutiny either from others or from themselves. There are enough lies flying through the discourse of this country already. No need to add to that disgusting mix.

“My kids don’t even talk about race, so it won’t even be a factor for the next generation.”

It may be that kids don’t need to talk about race, but remember how you thought you were so much smarter and “with it” than your parents? Remember how you and your friends weren’t going to be as dogmatic and intolerant as the previous generation? What happened? Don’t kid yourself that just because you self-medicated with different substances, could find your way around new technology, and live in bigger and “better” houses, that you have this race thing under control. Look around you. The previous generation had loyalty, honesty, integrity, compassion, civility, courage, and took responsibility, even though they might be expressed only within their self-identified group. Can we make the same claim today? How do we compare society to society?

While it is true that children today live with different images and a more diverse view of authority and business figures, and may be able to discern what is happening through observation, that fact that they are not talking about race and racism is no indication that racism does not exist for them. Depending on their circumstances and age, it will “come up” sooner or later, and they will take their initial cue from you. Will you educate them and talk to them or will they learn about race in the same way they learn about sex, from others?

“There is but one "race" and that would be human.”

What’s wrong with this? Aside from semantics, nothing, at least on the surface. The phrase “human race” is in common usage and we have heard it for many years. The issue I have with this phrase is the subtext, which says, “Everybody knows there is only one race, ergo all of this turmoil and controversy about race moot and so spending time worrying about it is a waste of time.” Rather than shutting down discussion, the fact of our relatedness should be a takeoff point for reaffirming and celebrating those interwoven relationships. The argument does not negate the difficulties of minorities or the advantage of unearned privilege. Saying these words is not a talisman capable of eradicating racism, racists, or even prejudice.

And my personal favorite, “Being racist is just part of the human condition.”

Racism is not inevitable, however entrenched. I ran across this one just today while talking with people on the White House Live site. Racism is a habit, not a function of being human. Clearly this myth is very popular for the reason that it allows racism (and racists) to continue while letting everyone wash their hands of the matter. “It is beyond our control.” “It’s too big a problem.” The very same people who love to lecture minorities about hard work and perseverance, are all too ready to throw up their hands in despair and feign helplessness when faced with the task of policing themselves and their attitudes.

That's my take on these platitudes. What's yours?