Before and After, or The Yin and Yang of Marriage

    My phone is out, so I walk up the hill to borrow my neighbor’s phone. While I am there, she shows me the finishing touches of a twelve month remodel that left their home in chaos. But today she is putting it back together and it looks lovely. “Yes, she comments, I’m even ready to forgive my husband.” This is funny because I can relate. Less than a year ago we finished with our nine month kitchen remodel that should have taken two months. When it was all done and absolutely beautiful, my husband said, “Thank-you, I’m really glad we did this, it’s beautiful.” I should have said, “your welcome, but inside I seethed with resentment. From the beginning concept until the day we finished, he was the Thomas, the black cloud to creativity and vision. But he probably is the reason we finally finished; and the reason we are not tearing the wall out of the laundry room and redoing the master bath. My neighbor points out that she is like my husband and I am like hers; or he is the yin and I am the yang: the balance that brings some kind of normalcy to a house remodeling job, or a marriage.

    Our conversation continues on the importance of this balance. “Because, “I point out, “you know the couple who don’t have the yin and yang and their house is in perpetual disarray. There is always a project, an improvement and there isn’t a partner who screams “stop.”

    “And,” she adds, “you know the couple who never makes any changes, you can walk into their home and say, “1970’s.”