Getting together for the holidays: No Mom Talk

Whenever the conversation turns to the holiday season, the word "family" is sure pop up fast. Holidays are so much about getting together and catching up that it's very easy to lose ourselves in hours of photo-swapping, reminiscing, and retelling the latest cute story about Aunt Julia's grandson's daughter's niece.

Nothing wrong with that, of course: she's the brightest five-year-old in four counties. But here's something to consider. When the holidays roll around, you're entitled to spend time talking about your own accomplishments and your own plans for the new year. That's right, it's OK to talk about you.

Remember you? You have plans for yourself, things you do on your own, places in the adult world you'd like to see for yourself — not just in the movies. Maybe you plan to go back to school, take up tai chi, get into Real Estate, or take a cruise on the Mississippi River.

The point is, in the midst of all the holiday chatter about Back Then, and Junior, and Missy, and The Twins, stop yourself and share your aspirations for yourself with family and friends. You might be surprised to see a wave of relief wash over your holiday dinner mates, once they realize the regulation banter is finally out of the way. Sure, we all like talking about the immediate family. But if that's all you can talk about, you're not really giving yourself a chance to enjoy the holidays the way you deserve to, with a full range of emotions.

One way to keep your perspective is to pace yourself. Try not to commit to too many holiday events in a row. If it's here for lunch and The Game, and there for dinner and the other place for dessert, each trip involving traffic, traffic and more traffic, maybe it's time your mastered the fine art of saying "no," at least once in a while.

So as you get ready to celebrate the holidays with your extended family, realize that loving your kids doesn't mean you can't look after yourself and your own interests, too. Yes you're a mom, but you're a particular mom with ideas about life that Parent Magazine hasn't thought of yet.

You have years ahead of you to use for education, hobbies, work, fashion, adventure and just plain living. And that's something to celebrate all year long, even when the candles and good dishes are packed away, nice and snug, in the closet.

Do you find yourself overwhelmed by "catching up" at the holidays? Do you sometimes wish you could just be you and give that holiday smile a rest? How do you maintain the Mom/Life balance during the holidays? Is it a scheduling thing? What's a great way to redirect a conversation away from "mommy talk?"

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