Code Orange: On Math, College and Dirt

Ask my son why math is important. He'll tell you why: The more math you learn as a kid, the less dirt you have to eat as a grown-up.

Ethan is five. He doesn't understand square roots or quantum physics. But he does understand dirt. He knows what it is. He knows it's not for dinner. And he knows it's definitely not for dessert.

When I first explained the Great Dirt Equation to him, Ethan didn't believe it. "But you're a grown-up," he said, "and you don't eat dirt."

"Oh yes I do," I said. "At work. Everyone does."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Real dirt?"

"No, but it still tastes yucky."

"A lot of dirt?"

"Not as much as I used to."

"I'm not gonna eat dirt," he insisted.

"Oh, I know you won't," I assured him. "That's because you're going to try real hard in math."

"What's math?"

"Numbers and stuff," I explained, "like when we count to twenty."

Ethan nodded.

I lowered my voice. "And if you're really good at math, you can make other people eat dirt."

He brightened. "Really?"

"Oh yeah," I said. "But it's not very nice." I shook my head. "So you probably shouldn't do that."

"Okay," Ethan said, "I won't make other people eat dirt."

Since then, Ethan and I have embarked on the anti-dirt diet. Together, we count to 100, add small numbers, and guess which number's bigger. Seven or two? Three or thirty? Ethan thinks it's a game. But it's not.

To pay for my college education, I had to wait tables. It took five years. I met hundreds of great people, delivered thousands of pancakes – and ate a ton of dirt. Usually, I ate it with a smile. Why? Because those tips on the table were my ticket out of Dirtville.  

Ethan's my little sweetie pie. I don't want to see him to eat dirt, now or ever. That's why when I have a Code Orange moment, when I worry about paying for his education, I try to make learning fun. I try to increase the odds of him earning scholarship money, or at the very least, understanding how the things you learn today will improve your life tomorrow.

My husband's a Code Green kind of guy. He's taught Ethan about paper airplanes and lightning bugs. I've taught Ethan about dirt. He doesn't fully understand now. But someday, he will.