A Magic Code Orange Charm -- Not . . .

Next fall when Kelsey enters college, I will have been out of college and law school for six years. I am still paying for the degree. My father quit school in the eighth grade. My brother and sister never finished high school.  I was first of my siblings to graduate and the only one to go to college. I have never doubted that Kelsey would go to college, but I have had a few “Code Orange” moments wondering how to pay for her education.   

I have no magic charm to relieve the stress of coping with college. Kelsey’s college fund has a negative balance and simply paying college application fees of $50 to $75 can be a “Code Orange.” I encourage Kelsey to carefully consider her choices – what schools are realistic and where does she really want to go.  She has a calendar with all of the deadlines we need to meet –her to complete the applications; me to have a check ready.  Knowing I can spread the application fees over a couple of months helps.

Kelsey and I also talk – trying to “hide” the reality of our financial situation from her would not bring down the “threat level.”  She knows her education depends on her and how hard she works. She takes that responsibility seriously: taking classes she needs, studying hard, making good grades, and staying involved in her community and her school.

Even so, I know paying for college is possible because I did it even when no one thought I could.  I wish I could write a check and pay for everything for Kelsey, she deserves it – she’s a great kid. The reality is, she will graduate with loans, but she and I both will do all we can to ensure her debt is manageable. So, when the “Code Orange” moments come up I remind myself of my law school application: “Beginning anew at thirty-five is not easy.  Taking my children from security into an unsure future was a risk I took because I believed in myself.  I gave my children the greatest gift that I had - my example.  They have done without many things, but they have never done without love.  They have seen in my success that no dream is to big to dream.  I gave them the ability to believe in themselves because they saw me believe in myself” – so does Kelsey.