Family Codes: Win an iPod Shuffle!

When my daughter gets home from school and I ask her " Hey do you have any homework" If she kinda ignores me and tryes to change the subject real quick then I can tell she has it.. When she does not have it she says as soon as she walks in the door " momma I dont have homework today".. Its quite funny that she thinks I cant tell.

When I ask her if she done what I asked her to do and she answers with an " OK" that means she has not yet done it but she will now!

thanks for info

When my son thinks that I'll be upset or angry about something, he dances around his question or is reluctant to bring up a subject. Before we asks whether he can watch tv or go to a friends, we will usually begin by saying: "I'm done with my homework."

Funny that you mention brushing your teeth. Our "code" for having bad breath is that you need to brush your teeth!

When one of my children says "It's OK, I don't need. . ." they are really saying - "If it is to much of a bother, but I really do want to . . ." Guilt is definitely a two way street with kids and they learn how to use it fast!!

My daughter tends to "speak in code" when she is tired and can't sleep or when I've been working too much and havent been around enough for her. It can be anything from getting her feet "stuck" in the slats of her toddler to needing her blanket, then being too hot and wanting her blanket taken off, when she is more than able to do it herself. She will also want me to lie with her in bed (ends up being next to her) which is a lot of fun in a toddler bed--when she's missed me through the day. Although it drives me crazy sometimes and I need to be doing something else, I will stay with her for a little while, and only a few minutes is usually enough to curve her mommy craving.

I could always tell when something was bothering my daughters. They seemed withdrawn and unusually quiet. I learned to read between the lines when it came to both of them. They would often want to skip meals when they haveing a bad day.

I suppose it was cruel of me to tease the kids, but let's face it. They were an easy target. Like the time we had just seen the movie Wayne's World and were singing along to the sound track in the car when we got to the mall. In the middle of 'Happy Birthday, Mr. President', I turned off the ignition and they stopped singing in mid-lyric. "What's the matter?" I asked, and they both said, "Mom, we're at the mall."

Obviously that was code for "Our friends might be here and see us, Mom."

Okay, so I got out of the car and in my best breathy Marilyn Monroe imitation I finished the song. As my mother was an Opera Singer, I project. The kids screamed and ran across the parking lot (dangerously I might add), laughing hysterically but wanting to 'lose' me in the crowd.

Yeah, they laugh about it now too.:)

I always knew one of my daughters had something on her mind when she didn't speak. I learned if I prodded her she would leave the room without sharing but when I sat with her quietly she would begin to share what was on her mind. It still happens but these days it is over the phone since she lives in a different state.

The specialness of having a child with a disability means a highly emotional child and my daughter is nine years old and suffers greatly and often. Some days she can be very normal as any healthy happy child, running and jumping and giggling. However, a moment occurs when suddenly she gets into pain again. Her codes are evident because she'll become more clingy and want to sit close to me and cuddle up with me. She will often get more snippy with her siblings too and is easily upset.

My youngest daughter has a special bond with her older brother, who's 4 years her senior, she's 11. If the two of them are plotting some sort of take over for the dinner selection, they use noddings of the heads with sign language to decide if they should protest or not.

They also can use snapping of the fingers to let each other know they have something to say, the whole time the two of em are thinking that I am not paying attention. If the vote to protest dinner is unianimous, then they will come to me and speak in thier native tongue, which is English. The rest of those noises/moves is from Urchant land I guess...LOL

I used to just ask my son if he had homework and how his day was and all I got for an answer was fine for both. Now I have him relate a happening to me. It doesnt have to involve anything in particular but something that had an impact on him. As far as homework dont ask him if he has any but I ask him just to show me the homework always assuming there is some. Or I will ask him which parts of his homework he needs the most help on.

The biggest thing I do is try to phrase all my questions to him so he cant answer just yes or no but he has to actually come up with an answer.

great article

I actually don't have any human kids. We're working on it, just haven't been blessed yet. We have fur kids. :-)

My sister and I are really close. She knows just by the sound of my voice when something is wrong. I honestly don't know how she does it. I try to mask it, but she always knows.

My nephew Shawn give a half smile when he's telling a fib.

When I am babysitting for my sister, I always ask the girls if they have brushed their teeth. When they say yes, I ask them to come here so I can smell their toothpaste. They always say "oh I forgot" and run back to the bathroom. And then I hear them whispering in the bathroom "how'd she know?".

It's funny when they try to whisper about what they can get away with when I am sitting within hearing shot. I like to let them think I didn't hear a thing. Then when they come up to me and say "Aunt Hollie can I..." I'll respond with exactly what they said and tell them no they cannot." I smile when as they walk away murmor "how did she know?!" And it's usually something outrageous like can they call a friend when it's past their bed time because they forgot what homework they had.

But I have to laugh and just love them all the more. I tried numerous stunts when I was a kid, so why shouldn't they? I like it though that I have set the limit with them and they know it. But I do spoil them occasionally. ;-)

Theresa, I just realized as I was reading your comment, that I do that as well. I'll tell someone, no it's ok, I really don't need...but in actuality I DO need it and I'm hoping they'll read between the lines. My problem is I don't like confrontation and because of that, I don' t like to be rejected, so if they don't have it. It's just easier for me to opt out first, that way I don't get hurt. I know this is something I REALLY need to work.

I can usually always tell when my kids don't want me to know something or are not being truthful. My oldest son will get this look on his face and kind of loll his head when I question him about something.

My (2) teenage girls are espicially creative when it comes to talking in code. They had gotten so completely dumb-founded that I always seemed to be one step ahead of them when they were up to no good (meaning that they always got caught) that they began to accuse each other of tattling. That of course was the only way I could have possibly known what they were up to. (HA!)

They thought that they were just brilliant when they put their heads together and developed their own language. (A take-off from pig-latin the secret language of my teenage years). Granted this language was a bit different from that of my day and took a little getting used to but I had it down in about a week but that was my secret. I patiently listened to their openly "private conversations"; they would look at one another with a look of satisfaction, grinning and confident that I didn't have a clue.

Before I knew it, kids would come over after school or on the weekends for a sleep-over and they were all speaking it. I went entire weeks without hearing a spoken word of actual English coming out their mouths. It was frustrating to say the least. After taking mental notes of all of the "secrets" my kids had been discussing, the time had come to let them know in no uncertain terms that mom is no dummy. I quoted back to them entire conversations in their "secret code language" and the looks on their faces were absolutely priceless. "Back to the drawing board girls.......keep it up though; It keeps me on my toes."

This topic is too cute! My children both speak in code- here's one funny example!

My 3 year old, when I ask "Did you do ______?" if she has, she says "Yes I did are you proud? or yes, does that make mommy happy? But if she didn't, she says "Yep" while spinning in circles and playing stub a toe.

The baby always says no, but giggles hysterically when the answer is yes!

If they both are hiding something, they look at each other and then go screaming out of the room saying :Run awway! Run awwwway!

Whenever I find something out of place in my oldest son's room (he's 5), I say, "Do I really have to tell you what's going on with your room?" He'll jump to and put his dirty clothes in the hamper or put his shoes away. With my 20 m.o. son, he's trying to snap his fingers whenever he wants my attention or wants me to give him something like his sippy cup. He also does that, "um-um-um" sound. So I tell him what to say, "Say 'I want juice please.'" He responds with the most sweetest way he can, all garbled of course! "Plz ch-us."

My nephew is 2 years old when he wants something he will ask me to come here then he points to what he wants. It is usually cookies or chips. He only asks in this fashion when he knows he either had a cookie or chips already and he wants it before dinner. He thinks if he shows me, no one sees him asking. Keep in mind his vocabulary is advance for his age according to his preschool teacher. He is showing the art for being creative in his communication skills to get what he wants without getting caught by his father.
Smart kid, I am bias aunt :)

When I pick my 3 year old up from day care I ask him all about his day on the way home. I can always tell when he has done something he shouldn't have because he will tell me "Today I didn't hit so-and-so" or "I didn't go into time out today". It's a dead give-away without me asking the question.

My oldest daughter has a lot of "inside jokes" if that counts. Unfortunately I have no idea what they are or what they mean, but she seems happy.

For me, I have been known to suddenly say "noise!" when I can't concentrate... but the code word for freedom in my house is chores: if they've done theirs, they're free. If they haven't, they're grounded.

The total jerk of the opposing soccer team had the kids stand in the goal until our team tried to shoot, at which point they'd block the shot, and then take the ball to the other end to score. Every time. So annoying. The coach stood behind the net telling his team: "wait for it.... wait for it...". My husband coaches my daughter's team - now everytime my husband needs to laugh, or be driven crazy by his girls, Claire & I both say to him: "wait for it... wait for it...".

I love this. I taught my son a few words in sign language before he could speak. Now whenever he really wants something that he knows I'll say no to he signs "please" and uses his big blue puppy-dog eyes. It's so hard not to cave. Of course when he knows I'll say yes there's no need to sign...

My son talks very loudly when he is excited about something even when we are inches away from his face. We keep asking him to lower his voice and quiet down, but it doesn't matter. Then we asked him if his teacher at school has to ask him to quiet down. He said no. We pushed the question again and finally he admitted, "Well, yes, but only when I'm talking". We burst out laughing, and he finally added "When I'm not supposed to". Just goes to show that you can't go with the first or even second answer to a question.

My family has a language that my great-grandmother made up that is used by all the women in our family. We call it Corny-talk. It isn't really that hard to learn, but we like to think that it is invincible to crack. We speak in this language whenever there is something we don't want others around us to hear, or when discussing things like Christmas presents while younger children are around. It wasn't untill my younger brother came in and talked to me in Corny-talk at the age of eleven, that he revealed that he had known what we were saying for the past three years, and he also knew the secret about "Sant Caluse". Imagine our suprise!
He now enjoys speaking the language with us when he has a secret to share. When he has something he thinks is really important to say, or when he wants to share one of his secrets, he starts speaking in Corny-talk. It has been a great bonding expreience to be able to hear some of his secrets.

My son stutters a lot when he knows he isn't doing what he suppose to. It doesn't really matter what it is that needs to be done or something he has done he just won't quite answer you right away if he is doing something wrong. That's always a good sign.

Something sweet we have going on is saying I love you. My son is 8 and he really doesn't like it if I say I love you in front of anyone plus he really doesn't like it at all because he says it's embarrassing. So one day he told me instead of saying, "I love you, you could say Pizza French fry". So now I say Goodnight or Good bye and Pizza French fry. He just smiles. It's actually more special than just saying I love you because it's our special thing and nobody else knows. Well you all do now but you won't tell, right?

one of my oldest son's codes is when I ask him how his day is....if he says "yeah, about the same...." that gives me a clue that I either need to grab the mail before he can destroy a note from the school or check caller ID for the counselor calling. If he says "well....it was boring all we did was work" that tells me that he actually paid attention in class today and I might be getting my money's worth out of the public school system after all! LOL

My daughter who is 4 is just starting to try to talk in codes. When she wants to get out of something she will tell me she is too tired or has a tummy ache. When I ask her is she has finished something she will turn the other way and say yes. I usually know that she isn't being truthful when she does that or she will ask me to come and see.

My son on the other hand is 2 and is still trying to talk, so when I ask him if he has done something he shouldn't have done, instead of telling me yes, he covers his bottom with his hand and runs crying..... I think that it is so funny how he tells on himself.

Christina

My 5 year old son has a bedtime ritual that has shortened over time. He is a little afraid of going to bed at night, so he used to ask me "Is fire coming?" I'd say "no". Then he would ask, "Is a bad man coming?" and I would reply, "no". He would go through a list of things he is afraid of. It got kind of long, so now, every night before he can fall asleep he asks, "Is anything coming?" I of course say "no".

My 5 year old daughter nad i speak codes, or more likely she speaks it and I can understand.

One morning while my hubby and I were getting our four kids ready to go to school, my Carmella as usual and right on time started whining. She almost speaks in tounges while she is in this mood-but I know my babes. After she, "whyak blah balh balkcion" (Im exagerating here *winks*) I respond,"Of course you can have some juice w ith breakfast"

Hubby stopped dead in his tracks and said, " are you serious? you understood THAT?"

I still have a good chuckle with that story :)

When my grandson is here and things get really quiet, thats when I know I should go check to see what is going on!

My oldest daughter, Summer (3) was sleep-talking one evening during her nap. My younger daugher, Maggie (almost 2) woke up from her sleep lying next to Summer, and started babbling and "talking" back and forth to her sister. It was quite amusing to watch and listen to the two carry on for a good minute or two. Then they both went back to napping.

Reverse psychology is definately my code of choice. My mother used it on me, and as a parent of a 4 yr. old and a 2 yr. old, I can see it works wonders! =)

When something's nagging at my now grown daughter, she'll just show up at home for the weekend. We'll plan a girl's night of chick flicks and junk food. She'll pile up on the couch with me and ask me to play with her hair. Obviously, as a mom, I know something's wrong but if I ask what it is, she'll clam up and shy away and never spit it out. But if I just sit quietly and wait long enough, patiently (which isn't my forte! lol) eventually it'll spill out like lava from a volcano. It didn't take me long to figure out, "play with my hair" was code for "I'm trying to figrue out life", but the waiting until she's ready to tell me, rather than instinctively pushing for answers and understanding, has taken quite a bit of navigating!

When I ask my daughter how school is going, she will openly talk about any subject she doing extremely well in. I have to keep track of the classes that she is quiet about, since that is code for..."report card alert"... Also, if I ask my kids ( I have 4) if they have done something, and I get a "what?", or an "I can't hear you", or I get questions in response to my question, I know my answer. It got to the point with the selective hearing that I actually had their hearing checked just to make sure! It turns out that is code for,"Why do you want to know?".

I don't have any children yet but have a two year old niece (my sister's daughter). My sister and her husband lived with my parents in Melbourne for two years after my niece was born. So she is always used to having my parents and other family members around. Recently my sister moved to Adelaide as she got a new job there. My niece was very unsettled and upset and kept asking about where everyone was.

We recently visited them in Adelaide - the whole gang, my parents, my other sister, my husband and me. She was so happy to see us and yet upset as she missed everyone too much. She didn't know what to do with this mixture of emotion and kept smiling at the ground and looking at all of us sideways for a while, then she spoke in whispers to show that she is not entirely pleased with us..after a few hours of cajoling did she become her normal chirpy self and kept running around the house from lap to lap unable to contain her happiness.

We have our own words and secret hand shakes. My two eldest boys and I do a weight-lifter pose with a small grunt and their names are 5W5H (swish) and 5K1D5 (skids), I am Bubbles or something to that effect (not as cute as it sounds, I had a serious case of poison ivy. Ewwww!)
Amoung the language we use with my younger two we say things like, "I'm a sausage" for I'm exhausted and we stole "Beehive" from Nanny McPhee for behave.

My daughter is only 11 months old but I have noticed one strange thing she does. When she is happy to see me, she calls me "mama" but when she is scared (or tired or just plain cranky) she will call me "Amy" (or a close 11 month old approximation of my first name)! Very bizarre!

I can usually tell when my daughter is telling a fib. Her body language is different (a bit fidgetty) and she fails to keep eye contact. There's something in her voice, too. It's almost as if she doesn't want to fib but feels compelled to do it anyway. I can hear it in her voice. The majority of the time, she comes clean soon after the fib. She knows she'll be punished if I find out the truth indirectly, plus she cannot hold onto the guilt of lying for too long before the truth pops right out of her. She's a pretty good kid.

My son is 19 and has never spoken in code, he "acts" in code. When he was a child if he was afraid to tell me something he would simply mumble hello and head straight for his room. Now that he is older he sits across the room from me and says, "mom, ah". If he wants something he plops down next to me and asks if he has ever told me how much he loves/appreciates/needs me.

Obviously he is now old enough to realize we both know what's going on, but his love really shines when he apes his younger actions.

I raised him for most of his life as a single parent and we are very close even now. I couldn't ask for a better child.

Helen W.

My son helped with chores but refused to his chore list. I had put on his list to fold the towels in the dryer and he did several things instead. This was his way of not doing what he was instructed. The day before we disagreed and in doing this he was getting even by not doing what he was told but yet staying out trouble by doing other chores. So therefore, he worked and did do chores, it just was not what he was asked to do. He thought he won, but actually I did because he three times the work.

Debra J

In our house, when I ask my kids to come see me, 'just a minute' means that I'd better get in there and see what they're up to because it's probably something that I don't want to know about! The funny thing is that I use it too, but it means something totally different, basically that I will be there as soon as I can.

My daughter is completely transparent, although she thinks she is clever and coy... When I have some food item in my hand, and she wants a bite of it, rather than just coming out and saying, "Can I have a bite of that?" she will flash me her biggest 100-megawatt smile and say, "That ______ is my FAVORITE." Then she bats her baby blues and I obediently hand over whatever I'm eating at the time. Quite the little snake-charmer, that one, and she's only five. I think I'm in big trouble...

say something funny or an embarrassing situation my sister will answer with TMI my parents don't know what this stand for so she'll shout to much information!

codes hmmm
well our kids are still young enough where we can spell everything even dessert so that the kids don't ask for dessert even if we are going to have some.

Jessica

You know how its common to say number 2 for the bathroom? My three year old girl always screams out "I have to go number 8 right now weally bad!" Its so funny. We dont know where she comes up with the silly things she says! One thing about kids remarks you never know what a kid is going to say, but be prepared for whatever and to laugh!

It's funny how kids learn to communicate, isn't it? Each day as my daughters get off the bus, I try and fail to get information on how their day went.

How was school? - Reply: Fine
Did you eat your lunch? - Reply: Yup
Did you have outside recess? - Reply: Yes
Anything interesting happen? - Reply: Nope

However, the minute the lights go out at bedtime, when I'm thoroughly exhausted from my own day, the communication begins..."Mom, why do some kids like pickles? Carly has a scab on her cheek today, how could that happen? Carlos threw up on the bus and Kevin stepped in it!" ... and on and on it goes!

This is a great topic and a fun contest!

My daughter doesn't speak yet (she's 10 months old), but she makes different noises. The good thing about babies is that they don't "hide" or "pretend". I know how urgent she wants something if she gets really loud! LOL.

Have the winners been announced yet?

My daughter, she's six, is very verbal about almost anything that doesn't have to do with her homework. So I usully can tell when she hasn't done her homework or completed as assignment from school when she talks about what all the kids did in school, what was for lunch or what her teacher said what they played at recess. But when she has completed her homework, she greets me at the door with, guess what new thing I learned in school today, you're going to be sooooooo surprised.

Or my nine year old, if she hasn't done her homework, she usually greets me warmly when I get back from work, brings me a drink and fusses over me, and then when I ask if she has done her homework, she usually asks me, Mommy did you have a good day at work or a yucky day? When she does do her homework, she only nods a greeting my way and continues watching TV.

My 17 year-old son, self-proclaimed learner, creator, and teacher of everything subtle, is not as subtle as he thinks he is. I'm very smart, you know. Yes - you DO know! So why doesn't he "get" that about me?

His most recent and most often used code is: "Mom, is there any possible way that _______ ...?" You fill in the blank. An example? "....is there any possible way that I can borrow $20 for a movie this weekend?" Which, in my head, is followed immediately by "...even though I got a D- on my last Chemistry quiz, quit my job, haven't done my chores all week, and have a room that, on its best day, smells like a landfill in July..." His tone, ironically, is sweetened significantly by how much worse those thoughts in my head tend to be. Are you getting the correlation?

The worst part? My 15 year-old daughter came to me just this morning, and said, as sweetly as a 15 year-old who'd just gotten a C in her Biology class could: "Mom, is there any possible way that ...?" Maybe my son "gets" me better than I thought.

I always ask how school was and what he learned in school. He always says nothing....I wait few minutes and then he comes back and tells me what is bothering him.

I am very close to all of my five children (4 are teens). I usually know exactly what they are talking about. However, I have found that they have a secret code called lying by omission. For example, the other day my daughter said that she was staying after school for chorus practice. Even though she is gounded for her grades I allowed her to go. Her little boyfriend who is not in chorus showed up. I ask her did you know he was going to be there? Um, duh mom he goes to school there...okay then did you ask him to stay after and hang out with you? Um, yeah. Well, arent you grounded? Um, yeah. Well, then he should not have been waiting for you after school and I told her I was angry that she essentially went behind my back to see him when she SAID she had chorus practice. She said, well I did have chorus practice, I just did not tell you that he would be there too.
I had to explain the been there done that factor. Heck, if she dont straighten up and get better grades and stop talking in code than I will not need to enter contests for an ipod shuffle, I'll just repo her nano...hehe

i can always tell when my 8 1/2 mo old daughter has missed me. she wants my absolute undivided attention. like the other night, my husband was at work and i was trying to use the computer. khloe started to fuss so i took her over to the couch and played with her. after a few minutes she scooted down to the floor. she kept looking up to make sure i was watching her play. if i got up to go to the computer (in the same room) she would fuss. it was kind of frustrating, but cute at the same time!

I'm guessing no one won these. Since no one bothered to answer me about who won.