For those of you that have fathers that you treasure--this may help you love them even more. I published this last year and thought it worthy of a reprint.
Recently, someone very close to me wrote a letter to her estranged father.
She allowed me to read it. I was moved by her heartbreaking words and broke into tears. I read
it again and asked her if she felt any better since she got this off her chest. I received no answer.
"May I write about your letter to your father?" I asked.
She agreed. Maybe it would help someone else. That could be doing the same thing to someone close to them.
Since I have so many friends here on Gather I would like to share this with you now.
To the person who was supposed to be my father.
For the last thirty-five years, I hope your life has been a living hell. There is no other way to put it.When I was a child you were never there for my Mom, sisters or me. I remember vaguely one night you were going out partying with the boys. Mom wanted to go. In front of your friends, you beat her badly. She didn't know she was pregnant until she lost the baby. You're such a selfish son of a bitch.
A lot of times we had nothing to eat... Where were you? I'll tell you where you were...down the street gambling, drinking and running with other women.
There were times when you didn't come home for two-four weeks at a time... Not caring if we had food or fuel to keep warm. If Mom dared to question, you would beat and rape her.
The first time I went to the dentist, I had several cavities. Did you know why ... or even care?
We had to do what we had to do to survive (no toothpaste most of the time).
Years passed you came home drunk and obnoxious. You started in on Mom and she told you she was leaving your sorry ass. You locked yourself in my baby sister's room with one of your shot guns. I heard you cock the gun and I prayed...pull the trigger. Do us all a favor.
Mom finally got the courage and planned to leave. For revenge you stole my little sister, and took our silver dollars my grandfather saved for us, and then ripped up all of Moms' clothes so she would have nothing to wear to work, except what she had on her back. We had no outside help, so she worked multiple jobs.
We worried and did what we could to find my sister. When we did you threatened to kill Mom. Did you ever care? Hell no! You were out of state with another woman.
I wrote this letter to let you know... When you die you sorry son of a bitch, I hope you go to hell and burn for years to come. I will not attend your funeral until the next day. That's when I'll show up to spit on your grave. Then I'll cry and tell you... "I wish you'd been there years ago."
From the girl that was supposed to be your daughter,
Melinda Drake 2008
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Comments: 85
I hope your friend gets to that place soon.
I'm praying she will have love and I thank you for publishing her letter.
Thanks too for commenting on my Quick Tips 4 U article. I appreciate it. Tks for the 10.
I hope your friend is doing well now.
Remembering how you were set up to be,
The highest pillar in the Family.
God stood you out to say,
This is supposed to be MY WAY.
With love and guidance that's what a dad should have been,
But No, not you; can't even call you friend.
Dad you cut me deeply, lost all my trust,
It's as if you threw me under a bus.
The grandchildren are betrayed for lack of trust,
No pillar to look up to, all hearts have been crushed
Yet the Lord says I must honor your place as my Dad,
But these truths still linger making me sad.
For one day I know the pain will be gone,
As I live in true PEACE my FATHER will live on.
HE comforts HIS children as we move through the day,
Under HIS loving arms is where I will stay.
HE IS knowing my pain that cuts like a knife,
He's telling me it's only temporary WORLDLY STRIFE.
For FATHER GOD has promised His heavenly den,
To ALL HIS CHILDREN in the end.
So I lay to rest in this make shift grave,
All the hurt and pain all these years have saved.
You no longer cut at my heart,
For MY TRUE FATHER gives me a new start.
Through HIS SON I have learned my Way,
As to what a true Father is and how to pray.
I forgive your cutting of my soul,
I forgive your times of control.
I forgive your mind games you played,
I forgive the childhood you took away.
I forgive the fleshly wounds,
As I move towards MY TRUE FATHER'S Room.
Where LoVe and laughter does abound,
With No fear of shadows all around.
Where I can look at a man with full trust,
Knowing MY FATHER is there is my thrust.
Where my Mother protects me from worldly harm,
With full trust in her makes Life a charm.
There will be no need for walls to form,
For in Father's Garden security is the norm.
© May 20, 2008 Rose Traver
God I Pray he recieved a copy..........
NO not one one a dayhe is made to read for the rest of his life.
As long as she re-lives and continues to think about the things that happened in the past and carries it around as her story - for all the world to see and to be repeated endlessly - so it hurts over and over again - she will find no peace.
It is true, she was a victim.
Hopefully, for her to find peace and accept love into her heart from those around her, she will simply decide that it is in the past and it was her story in the past.
Then she can begin to live in the present and decide that from this day forward, she has taken her power back, she will live a good life, because she deserves it and she will find love, because she deserves it.
Just something to think about. I am writing this response, because I have a friend with similar experiences and a myriad of problems in her life - it's her story and that is all she is.
She cannot forgive and she cannot forget - the man is dead - yet, she still let's him take her life energy away from her.
She is the unhappiest woman I know, yet she refuses to move forward.
Hugs to your friend, I am not trying to make her feel bad, I'm just offering some insight into what I have seen throughout my life. Good Luck to her - may she see the light one day and feel that burden of pain lifted off her shoulders.
He put it there, but she accepted it as her role in life and hasn't realized that all she has to do is release...
Forgive me for being so candid and you're welcome to delete my comment, if you like.
Dearest child, I did not deserve any of you,
I have died a thousand deaths since the last time my eyes fell upon your face,
Death has taken a toll on me in so many ways,
You will not know when I die,
It is my wish that you not suffer seeing the shadow my casket put on the ground,
For I will be buried in Potter's field,
I wish not to be named nor do I wish for you to come,
Take your pain and throw it against the wind,
It will not falter and go far beyond the assault I put on your mother,
Let your true Father take you in his arms,
Forgive me, please.
An angel came to me one night, she had the face of my child,
Was it you that smiled at me as I begged for forgiveness?
Forgive me, please.
Spread your wings and go far from that place that holds you down,
I have been there, lingering for so long,
Now I want to you go,
Shed your tears and use them to water something worthwhile.
I leave you now.
Take care my daughter.
Melinda you need to release the chains that have formed on you. You WERE a victim ... now step out of that shadow of evil into a new day. If you allow him to continue to hurt you this way you will never receive the full blessings your life has in store. I to was a victim of my father's abuse it is something that will eat away the beautiful person inside of you if you allow it. Writing your letter is the first step to recovery. You will never forget the pain you suffered but you can grow from it. Life is meant to be lived not hidden from or kept at a distance. I pray that one day soon you begin to see that by allowing him to continue to occupy so much of your life that you are losing out on everything else. Sounds to me you have a great friend and listener in Jennette. If I were there I would also be a listener. No one can tell you how to heal, all we can do is show you that it can be done and when you do it will seem like a lifetime ago that you felt this pain. Break those chains and see what you are missing. Hugggs Melinda and I pray that God will comfort you and heal you.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr. quotes (American best selling writer, author of Life's Little Instruction Book)
Very sad indeed...
Yes unfortuanately.
I wish I could give that woman a hug. i love my father but to be honest his wife I could live with out. Sad to say I didn't call my dad today because I didnt wish to talk to her.
Maybe you could find away to just make small talk with her and then talk to your dad and let him know you love him.
I am so fortunate to have two of the best parents God put on this earth. I hope your friend can someday find peace.
Yes you are fortunate, so many people haven't had that. I wish her peace also. But it has effected her in ever way. thank you aand everyone for all the kind comments.
I'm glad you shared this. It really puts things into perspective for me. Thank you, Jeanette.
You're welcome.
That is just way too powerful. I pray that your friend has found peace and happiness.
She has only found a little peace in her life. She'll always be scared.
What a horrible thing to have to live through. I wonder what his life is like now.
I fshe knows she doesn't say.
As an abused child myself, though my father wasn't such a drunk, I understand where she is coming from.
My father died in 1972, and I know he is in Hell being raped himself, I hope. He was a pediphile, a crooked cop, and then one who stole his own daughters life savings of $500. I have no idea where he spent it.
He didn't work half the time, so mom also had to work 2 jobs.
bless you.
Thanks.
Powerful and heartbreaking. It took a lot of wherewithal for Melinda to put this tragic history in writing and that has to be a very positive step. I wish for Melinda much happiness, comfort and love to flow into her future. What a good friend you are to support her and publish this piece. I have to believe there's something healing in the process of confronting the pain, naming it, explaining it and publishing it. May Melinda find comfort in the good wishes of strangers...
Thank you so much for this comment. I pass them on to her.
Did the person ever find their little sister? Gosh, that's the saddest part. I feel very bad for that girl.