Today in class, a woman read us an account by an elderly lady that totally made me see things differently. It was written like a diary. Essentially, the woman in the story was probably in her 80's and she talked about the world and about her feelings and how people talk to her and are polite but that she simply hasn't been touched in 20 years. She hasn't been held tightly and made to feel less alone. Also, now she's just called mom or grandma, not Mae, her name. She feels lonely and like the world doesn't care.
Well, it's an interesting perspective and gives me a greater appreciation for older people. She is a person and her human condition doesn't simply end at a certain age.
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Comments: 111
Its amazing how people treat their elders differently than they treat someone younger almost as though they are mutants or even how you see some treat someone with a disability.
Ever since I was 15 I have worked with the elderly and would NOT change one day of it for anything. So many stories, feelings, and knowledge that these people have! Its not something you come across daily!
When my husband used to drive a truck long distance, I remember missing his hands the most. He actually enjoys giving back rubs, so I am pretty rotten.
Anyway, my friend works in a nursing home as a CNA. They are actually required to give back rubs to the residents there every day. She loves her little old people, so it is not a chore to her.
I think this is a good article Dan -one that brings attention to something we all can do something about.
Treating the elderly tenderly and with dignity doesn't cost a thing.
Touch is important to newborns in order to thrive. Why wouldn't we need touch at other times of life?
My most important job was a story in itself, and someday I really do hope to share my perception of it! He had dementia.
As of this post i have worked, with the elderly, in a lifecare facility, for over 10 yrs, and an assisted living facility for over a yr, as a housekeeper. Although not a CNA or nurse of anykind, i have had a great many years intereacting with the elderly, due in part for the amount of time i have spent within thier homes. I know firsthand the power of the human touch. Especially within the elderly population. I have seen residents, lite up like a christmas star at just the light pat on the back. And a hug, that could light up a galaxy!
We need to remember, to be old does not mean, they no longer, need hugs, or affections. If anything perhaps more so.
She was in a Nursing home dying...
No family...
with fears...
Alone...
But I was blessed...
to know her name...
to hold her hand...
to share her pain....
She was his sister...
She was her daughter...
she was her mom...
she is a child of God...
Now you know her name...
that in the end she was not alone...
vacant though the room may seem neither shall we be...
In the end....
Her name was Rose...
Copyright Nov. 14, 2007 by M. Emmett Townsend
He rushed in to see her & asked how it happened. " I fell out of bed", she said.
"Did someone come quickly to help you?"
"Oh Arthur was with me when it happened. He helped me up."
"What do you mean? Who is Arthur?" he asked.
"Do I have to spell it out? Arthur and I were in bed together & I fell out."
He was gobsmacked.
Then she added "im still just a young woman at heart; I have needs too you know."
He was like..."Ok mum...I wont ask next time!"
At the same time he was quite proud of his strong minded mothers passion!
She was 87. Her wrist healed too.
So when people are most vulnerable, and most need to be held in the safety of their soul mates arms, they are alone.
Now that's inhumane treatment I think!
enjoyed visiting her and holding her hand and hugging when i left... she would blow kisses to me and i to her... i still miss her... she was sooo cute...
i love you, Bernice...
Thanks for bringing awareness to this.
Thanks!
I wish you had a transcript of this. I used to read something seemingly identical to my nurse assistant students, but I lost it during the transition from one home to another.
If it is the same, I would love to have another copy. When I read it, there was never a dry eye in the room. Its wonderful for instilling compassion in their young minds.
I do feel sorry for the lonely, elderly people who miss that feeling..it is so very important to feel loved.
I think the same thing is true of people who are disabled. Sometimes people are afraid to hug them.
Hugs everyone ...
God bless you
She passed away a week later, but for that last week I spent every evening in that room chatting with her a while. It meant the world to her and to know she didn't feel as alone before dying is something I can appreciate in my memory for the rest of my life.
It doesn't take much, but take the time to talk to someone alone. Hug them, tell them they are appreciated. You'll not only make a friend, but maybe make a difference in someone's life.
I have cared with the elderly off and on for....gosh, this makes me sound old, 20 years now. It started with my grandparents and grew from there. I learned though the years that it is so important to physically let them know that you are there and you care.
The last gentleman that I took care of lived on over 300 acres in rural Wa, in a house by himself. He was over 90, but still only needed care during the day for chores and meals. He was so lonely that I spent most of my time just sitting in the recliner nest to him holding his hand. He was a joy to be with, but since losing his wife 20 years before, he just didn't have the connection that he was used to with another human being.
He was a joy to be around and so full of history of the area and the logging business. We would take drives around the property and the surrounding area that were full of little bits of history. At the end of the day, he would always walk me out to my car and open the door for me. I would give him a big hug and tell him that I would see him in the morning. He would stand there and watch me drive away until he couldn't see me anymore. It was so sad, but overall, it was one of the best jobs that I have ever had.
Now, make sure you hug the elderly every chance you get!
Ro
Thank you for the article....it's a keeper!