by Mark Lange
Member since:
May 18, 2007

"If Men Got Pregnant..."

July 30, 2007 06:23 PM EDT
views: 185 | comments: 84
"If Men Got Pregnant..." 

Maternity leave would last two years... with full pay.

There would be a cure for stretch marks.

Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

They wouldn't think twins were so cute.

Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM

Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.

Women would rule the world!!
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Comments: 84

Carol Lloyd Jul 30, 2007, 6:25pm EDT
only one to a household lol
☃ Aunt Shanny Jul 30, 2007, 6:28pm EDT
If men got pregnant, you better believe that birth control would be 100% foolproof.
Heather C. Jul 30, 2007, 6:28pm EDT
If men could get pregnant, passing a kidney stone would be a picnic. smile
Dan (Cowboy Up) V. Jul 30, 2007, 6:29pm EDT
I think there'd be a lot less people in this world if that happened! LOL C):-)
Cherri K. Jul 30, 2007, 6:32pm EDT
I needed that laugh, thanks.
Pher B. Jul 30, 2007, 6:32pm EDT
LOL...the population would just die out
Randy- Being true to myself Jul 30, 2007, 6:33pm EDT
Shannon and Mark, are you both sayng that men either cannot handle the pain, or do not like pain? hmmmmm


Too funny
April J. Jul 30, 2007, 6:34pm EDT
The human race would probably die out...quickly. :P
Heather W. Jul 30, 2007, 6:36pm EDT
LOL very true.
Sara :-) Jul 30, 2007, 6:38pm EDT
None of us would be here if men had to have kids
Joe Corso Jul 30, 2007, 6:39pm EDT
And what the world desperately needs, birth/population control, I doubt one male would go through it! Hmmm, interesting idea!!!
Free Spirit or the guy next door ~. Jul 30, 2007, 6:40pm EDT
Obviously this is a fairy tail...no other answer would apply..
lynn a. Jul 30, 2007, 6:48pm EDT
If men got pregnant, I'd have taken pregnancy a whole, heck of a lot better. And had more children. HA !
Lisa Frost Jul 30, 2007, 6:53pm EDT
LOL Funny.
Donna M. Jul 30, 2007, 6:54pm EDT
wonderful!
Linda DeMerle Jul 30, 2007, 6:57pm EDT
Very funny!
Jenna is around here somewhere s. Jul 30, 2007, 6:58pm EDT
cute :)
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Jul 30, 2007, 7:28pm EDT
Major painkilling drugs would be mandatory, a nanny in every house, and men would have a headache every night.
alicia w. Jul 30, 2007, 7:55pm EDT
it woudl be funny to see a man being pregnant. I can't wiat for
now that's cute!
Linda C. Jul 30, 2007, 8:44pm EDT
If men got pregnant-- each family would only have 1 child , because men would not do it a 2nd time..
Jerri H. Jul 30, 2007, 8:47pm EDT
LMBO!!!
FRANK Z. Jul 30, 2007, 9:04pm EDT
Obviously written by a woman,total fantasy and wishful thinking.
golds g. Jul 30, 2007, 9:34pm EDT
great article women would relax easier if men got pregnant
K S. Jul 30, 2007, 9:38pm EDT
funnnnnnyyyyyyy ..... thanks ...
Demongirl A.K.A. Girl Toy Jul 30, 2007, 11:08pm EDT
Very true and very funny indeed!! LOL!
Sue D. Jul 30, 2007, 11:26pm EDT
I don't think they could do it.
Kari L. Jul 31, 2007, 12:00am EDT
Hilarious story and I really needed the laugh!
Minakshi w. Jul 31, 2007, 1:46am EDT
When is it going to happen?? Will they also suffer hormone imbalance?? Maybe they will also cry more. What a pain!
Jennine D. Jul 31, 2007, 2:06am EDT
HMMMM! Well guess that is why God had women have children. Men could not handle it. Knew women were tougher ha.
Angela <:3---}~~~~ M. Jul 31, 2007, 4:30am EDT
lol there would be nothing of the human race left for long lol
Timothy S. Jul 31, 2007, 9:00am EDT
If woman ruled the world, imagine what missles would look like!!
R o g e r .. Jul 31, 2007, 12:44pm EDT
If men got pregnant, the birth rate would drop to zero...
Judith W. Jul 31, 2007, 1:37pm EDT
That is absolutely hilarious! Don't tell anybody, but we already rule the world!

Didn't you hear when God said she was only kidding when She made man?
Alena Chauntee AKA Kitten Jul 31, 2007, 4:55pm EDT
Heck if they had to deal with 1 period the world would end. Oh and depo would be the birthcontrol of choice;) No period(in most cases)and a shot they dont have to think about for another 3 months;)
Pattimari s. Jul 31, 2007, 4:59pm EDT
Funny one!
Christopher K. Aug 1, 2007, 12:35am EDT
this was good,10 from me
Roberta A. Aug 1, 2007, 3:31am EDT
What are the chances of a single parent household? because the woman ran off when she got the man knocked up?
Michelle P. Aug 1, 2007, 5:14pm EDT
Very funny! Thanks for the laugh!!!
Tiffany G. Aug 1, 2007, 5:30pm EDT
lol this was great thanks for sharing!
Laura H. Aug 1, 2007, 5:58pm EDT
Thanks for the laugh!
Elsie Duggan Aug 2, 2007, 2:26am EDT
The first man that got pregnant would tell every other man don't do that, and the world would stop, no more people
NEWS BULLETIN: Women now rule the world! Details at 6.

Very nice, Mark. A man who thinks like a woman. We've arrived
amarpreet k. Aug 2, 2007, 3:56am EDT
very nice ..which that to be true ..
Missy Cline Aug 2, 2007, 4:46pm EDT
LOL that was hilarious!
Carolion Grailbear Aug 2, 2007, 8:02pm EDT
So who's going to be the first to invent the virtual "pregnancy simulation experience" that will be administered to boys and men? LOL.
Adriana C. Aug 3, 2007, 4:04am EDT
This was great! Thing is just about every line is true! lol This was a good laugh. Thanks for sharing.
Charlene Sharp Aug 3, 2007, 8:11am EDT
These are wonderful and so true! If my husband had of been the one to be pregnant we would of never had sex at all...
If men were the child beares there would be a lot fewer people in the world too!
sorry, that should be bearers, really hard typing with one hand,,,right one's trying to take the day off, maybe I should offer it a beer.
Sheri Fresonke H. Aug 3, 2007, 4:48pm EDT
Funny! Let's see it happen anyway! :-) Sheri
Rachel D. Aug 3, 2007, 9:14pm EDT
I totally believe it. I'm pg now, and yep, there's NO WAY my husband would do it.
Kelly M. Aug 4, 2007, 2:39pm EDT
So funny! And so true!
Peg Doak Aug 5, 2007, 12:08am EDT
Perfect! My mother used to say that if women had the first babe, and men had the second, there would be no more.
Annie M. Aug 6, 2007, 4:00pm EDT
If men got pregnant..then they would stop asking to make a baby... LOLz...
Kristen D. Aug 6, 2007, 7:19pm EDT
LOL!!
Tooooo funny :-) And true as well, lol! Just imagining my husband pregnant makes me laugh so hard I about fall off my chair!
Pina M. Aug 6, 2007, 9:00pm EDT
This is a riot!! Love it, absolutely love it!
Christine P. Aug 7, 2007, 7:24am EDT
Good way to start the morning off reading this, LOL!
Lisa J Aug 8, 2007, 7:00pm EDT
If men got pregnant, even once, they would never look at a woman with hyperemesis puking her guts out in the toilet and say, "Geez, are you ever going to stop?"
William Dotani Aug 9, 2007, 10:47am EDT
Could men enjoy the joys of PMS too?
Jill J. Aug 9, 2007, 5:22pm EDT
Yeah...this is even better than your rating comments!
lemzo n Aug 9, 2007, 10:56pm EDT
thanks for sharing,you make lol
John Philipp Aug 10, 2007, 12:06am EDT
Great one, Mark. That headline sure drew a crowd!
he he
Amy C. Aug 10, 2007, 11:10am EDT
If men got pregnant, you wouldn't see primarily men with protest signs at Planned Parenthood anymore and you wouldn't have primarily men trying to regulate women's bodies at our highest levels of government!!!
golds g. Aug 10, 2007, 12:15pm EDT
men wouldn't complain so much when they got a cold
golds g. Aug 10, 2007, 12:16pm EDT
they'd be more sympathic to women
Katie G. Aug 10, 2007, 1:09pm EDT
did you know that medically speaking, its becoming a possibility for men to become pregnant? scary!
David C. Aug 10, 2007, 6:10pm EDT
funny but some of this is on point.
Nyota *Star* Aug 10, 2007, 8:23pm EDT
Seen this before but it still made me laugh!
JoAnne D. Aug 11, 2007, 12:30am EDT
That is truly funny Mark
JoAnne D. Aug 11, 2007, 12:35am EDT
2-4-1 day,
I don't know about that pickle and ice cream thing I think it's a myth
Jay M. Aug 11, 2007, 7:59am EDT
Hey...God knew what he was doing...
Courtney B. Aug 11, 2007, 7:23pm EDT
That is hilarious (coming from a pregnant woman), now to bring up a serious issue isnt it sad that America and Australia are the only two countries that do not require by law "paid maternity leave"? In Canada ive heard that even fathers can take up to a year for maternity and still have job security. Its sad that women on my pregnancy board were so petrified to tell thier bosses about something they should be so proud and gleaming about becuase they are afraid to dissapoint and be considered a let down.
Courtney B. Aug 11, 2007, 7:25pm EDT
The thing about cravings is that you dont necessarily crave wierd combinations but that you crave EVERYTHING at once LOL!
Mikal *A Four Year Smithie* M. Aug 12, 2007, 3:19pm EDT
haha this is too funny. I enjoyed the very last one! ; )
Mischelle T. Aug 13, 2007, 2:50am EDT
I love it! I bet birth control would be 100% effective if men could get pregnant and the average househould would not be 4.2 but 2.5!
Sara L. Aug 24, 2007, 2:15am EDT
Cute. Interesting thought too.
juley g. Jun 3, 2008, 1:03pm EDT
LOL!
Ali C. Dec 9, 2008, 10:14pm EST
Funny stuff, I like the one about having the baby stay in the hospital until they are potty trained :-)
Melissa V. Jan 17, 2009, 5:41pm EST
Ha, Ha, my husband already admitted that if he had to have the babies, we wouldn't be parents, esp after watching my preterm labor, emergency c-section, NICu stay with the 1st and 2 stays in the hospital with the 2nd!

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