Burn down the trees! Set traps for all the woodland creatures! I hate nature!
At least, I did at seven am this morning when an overenthusiastic squirrel woke me from my sound and comfortable sleep by doing a four-footed furry dance on my air conditioner. We thumped on the AC from inside to make him go away. He did. For about ten minutes. Then he was back. Tap-tap-tap-chitter.
We turned on the AC, despite the winter chill. The squirrel went away. For about half an hour... then tap-tap-tap, roll. Oh look.. this time he brought an acorn so he'd have a little snack while waking me up. I considered the merits of buying mousetraps. Raid. B-B Guns. Hand Grenades.
Now, living in the middle of the Pine Barrens National Reserve as we do, I've seen a lot of squirrels. Usually, they're up in the trees. Occasionally they're running across the patio, or doing death-defying leaps off our roof. That, I can handle. Especially when it takes place at a respectable hour! I am not a morning person to begin with, and that squirrel is not helping matters any at all.
Almost every day he tap dances across the AC. Why? We have no idea. It's not on, so it can't be for moisture or cooling down (and it's cold enough out there!). Maybe he uses it as a perch to survey where the best nuts are located. Which would be fine.. if he didn't dance around while he was up there. For some reason, the sound really amplifies. It sounds like a squirrelly marching band. Maybe he's a terrorist. I think I need to call homeland security and report a sadistic terror squirrel.
After I get up for the day, and I'm more fully awake, I stop hating on nature. I realize how much I love living in this beautiful place, and how sweet all the little creatures are. But I really wish I could encourage one critter in particular to get a new hobby- or at least to sleep in!
(picture of furry terrorist from - http://sugarbushsquirrel.com/ )


Comments: 102
I'm not a morning person, either. Here's hoping he gets his act down and finds the need to dance no more.
The squirrels have erected a no-cross zone around the perimeter of our bedroom out of self defence. You see if they aren't at least 20 feet away from the house (or at the base of one of the trees) they are dead meat when I let the dogs out. It is kind of find to watch them all fly across the yard.
crazy what you foks complain about. am very happy to be woken by blackbirds at 3am or the woodpecker on the wall by my bed. and the newborn sheep are really great to hear in the night.
try having a 10 lb cat drop from the trees and run across your tin roof sounds like a herd of elephants the cats around here like to get up as high as possible so over see there territory and it happens to be my house since the trees are so close :( and this usually starts at around midnite!!
Perhaps you could make him a perch away from the AC and put some peanuts or something to attract him away from it and maybe he will discover he likes that spot better.
I like nature better too when it knows my rules... *grins*
Personally, I would rather have a tapdancing squirrel and other nice kinds of nature noises than mean nature noises like a yowling or barking dog. Also you're lucky living out in the country. No jackhammers, no streets being repaved and no noises from the house next door when your windows are open. Nature beats the heck out of ringing cell phones and other people's conversations when thy talk on those cell phones and guys who think the world needs to hear the music they have playing at full blast either from their cars or their home CD players.
Once he got his dance steps perfected, he needed some friends to join in.
So instead of getting angry at them, go grab a lawn chair and watch the show.
keep laughing
The Funny Guy
I think I'm going to try the vinager solution- wish me luck!
They look too cute to be trouble...
10 points should make you feel better I hope ;-)
My husband managed to go outside in time to see our furry terrorist today.
He's a fat and happy squirrel.
I thought the rule of Point whore of the week ~ redux is we are only supposed to post it to that group... and even if it is a copy of the original story????
(I ♥ squirrels in a big way. I've been helping to raise baby orphan squirrels in a wildlife rehab center for almost 4 years now. They are intelligent, captivating little critters up close).