9 Movie Review

Note: This review is a bit late. I saw this a couple of weeks ago, but have been putting off reviewing it, because I wanted to make sure that I had fully processed the film. Now that I feel I have done that, let's get on with the review.

Why would Tim Burton put his money into this? Why was this greenlit? Why was such a great short film adapted into such a bland feature film? Why was this movie even made?

These are all questions that were begging to be answered as I left the theater for 9, Shane Acker's first feature length film about a group of rag dolls, created by a mad scientist to carry on life in a post apocalyptic world where machines rule, and mankind is no more.

For those of you who know me, you know that I've been looking forward to this film quite a bit. After all, I love the original short, the director of that directed this, and there were some good people who put their money into this, such as the legendary Tim Burton.

However, I found that despite the unbelievable amount of potential here, it was just an average film. There was nothing special about it. And in some areas, I thought that it was actually bordering bad.

Allow me to explain why I feel this should have never been made. The short film is a brilliant piece of artwork, and one of my favorite shorts ever made. But the one thing that I always felt was wrong with it, was that it was weird, just for the sake of being weird. There never was a back story, or an explanation as to who these rag doll things are.

So, naturally, a feature length adaptation was the way to go. After all, we would get all of the beautiful artwork of the short, with all of the story that it was missing.

I was excited eve further when they released the first trailer. It looked like everything I had hoped it would be and more. I was officially pumped, and had no idea the kind of monstrosity that I was driving myself into.

Here's the thing; there is no reason to see this movie. While it has flaws, it's not bad, but there really is no reason to see it. If you see the trailer, then believe me, you've seen the movie. The film itself is nothing more than the trailer, but stretched out to ninety minutes. It was so pointless.

When they said that they would be making it feature length, I figured that it would have been the perfect opportunity to really get into it, and give us some really compelling characters in a chaotic yet fascinating world. We don't get any of that. The entire back story is summed up in the trailer, and the rest of the movie is just filler.

The only thing that made this film worthwhile was the action scenes. Some of them are really cool, and are really well animated, so it's pretty to look at.

Just so long as you're not looking for a story.

One of the worst things about this film, is it's cast. When I saw the list of names who would be lending their voices to this, I was ecstatic. There were some A-list names in here, and I was certain that everyone would deliver amazing performances.

Once again, it would seem as though I was expecting too much, as all of the performances in here were either bland, downright bad, or great, but it was lent to a character that doesn't matter. Jennifer Connelly is downright horrid in her role, and though John C. Reily was trying, he just sounded silly rather than emotional. Crispin Glover was great, but the only thing he does in the film is tell 9 some kind of riddle that he has to solve in order to destroy the machines.

Christopher Plummer is great as 1, but his character is so pointless, and they try to make him out to be the bad guy, only to redeem himself at the end, when all along he didn't really do anything all that bad!

But Elijah Wood as 9 was the worst. He's the title character, but all he does is mess things up throughout the film. He acts courageous, and seems like he wants to be the hero, but he never really is! He just takes credit for everything when it's all said and done. In fact, as if that wasn't bad enough, he's the one who unleashes the machines in the first place!!!

Now are you starting to realize why this film made me so mad? I really wanted to come out of it, saying that it was something great, saying that everyone should go see it, but I can't really recommend it to anyone! I was really let down here.

Well, my head hurts now...I'm gonna go watch Adventureland to calm my senses....