How I Learned EFT for Easing Life's Problems

Did you ever have help right at your fingertips and leave it laying there for months?  It's hard to imagine but that's exactly what I did.  At the first of the summer someone introduced me to EFT.  That stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.  Gerry Weiss did such a great job of explaining the history and background of EFT that I'll let you go to his article for that part of the story.

 Anyway, I downloaded the free manual at http://www.emofree.com/, scanned through it and forgot about it.  I was busy all summer visiting various relatives in need of change and comfort in their lives.  Soon, as often happens with new ideas trying to get your attention, I heard about EFT again.  This time from a website from the UK about a new weight loss program.  I asked for and received the computer software on CD for my birthday.  I still didn't do anything beyond load it and intend to use it when I got time.  Then opportunity knocked in a way I could no longer ignore.

I was at my daughter's home where her daughter had just escaped of an abusive relationship and obtained a restraining order against her fiance.  She was pregnant too, and full of anxiety and terror that he would find a way to get to her that we were all worried about her and her baby.  Suddenly, EFT popped into my mind.  I went to my laptop where I had downloaded the weight loss program, scanned the help for framing a statement to use, and studied the drawing of a person's face which showed where to tap.  It took me about 10 minutes to refresh my memory about the technique.

 I went into the bedroom where my grand daughter lay sobbing on the bed and asked if she would like to try something to help her calm down.  "Anything" she gasped between sobs.  She couldn't talk, so, because I knew the story, I chose "Even though I feel so frightened and hurt by "M", I choose* to feel calm and confident" as the focus statement.

 First, I did the "karate chop point" on one of her hands, tapping firmly on the side of her hand between little finger and wrist bone with all four of my fingers while I repeated the entire focus statement three times.

 Next, the instructions were to tap around on the eight acupuncture points on the face, neck, underarm and crown of her head, while repeating just the first part of the focus statement, the part that told the negative feelings she was experiencing.  So I tapped and repeated "I feel so frightened and hurt," and I felt inspired to add more to the phrase here.  I said also:  "I'm scared "M" might have hurt the baby," "I'm so afraid he will find us," "I'm worried I can't keep us safe" and other related statements. 

 By this time the tears were beginning to slow and my grand daughter was looking at me as I tapped around, but I didn't stop.  The next instructions were to tap around on the eight acupuncture points again and this time, repeat the second part of the focus statement, the positive part: "I choose to feel calm and confident."

 As I finished this round, my grand daughter said "Wow, Gramma, where did you learn that?  I feel very different."

 I just said, "there's another part Emily, let's finish it so it won't come back."

 The last instruction to complete one full round of tapping is this:  Tap around the eight acupuncture points a third time, alternating the positive and negative parts of the focus statement and ending with the positive at the crown of the head.

As I finished tapping the last part, my grand daughter said, "I can't believe this.  I don't feel afraid any more.  What is that you were doing, Gramma?"

"It's EFT," I said, feeling as amazed and she and her mother were.  Then I asked her, on a scale of one to ten with one being very little emotion and 10 being a lot of emotion and discomfort, where did she think she was when I came into the room.

 She replied, "I was a 15, Gramma.  I just felt like I wanted to hide in the closet and never come out."

"And where on that scale are you now?" I asked her gently.

 "I can't believe it.  It's all gone.  Even when I think of "M" I don't feel afraid.  I have the restraining order and I have my cell phone and I can call the police if I need to."

 That was the third week in June.  Since then I've talked my grand daughter through tapping by phone (she lives in another state north of me.)  We'd talk a bit and I asked her to pick two words that described her feelings right then and two words that described how she'd rather feel. 

 When the baby was born 6 weeks early and in the NICU, we used this focus statement:  "Even though I'm exhausted and worried about my baby, I choose to sleep and wake up rested and calm."  She reported no dreams, just sleeping comfortably except when she had to pump breast milk to take to the hospital.

 When the baby came home and had to go back in less than 24 hours for a raging case of staph infection in his shoulder and was life-flighted to a larger NICU for treatment, my grand daughter called me from the car as she and my daughter drove through the night to be with him.  We used this focus statement:  "Even though I'm so worried about the baby and his condition is serious, I choose to be calm and strong so I can help care for him."

 After the baby was well and home again he developed colic and eventually was diagnosed with reflux, a common problem with preemies.  He had major heartburn and was screaming for half an hour so his mother called me.  She put her cell phone on speaker and put it beside him on the bed.  She tapped gently on him and I tapped on myself and said the focus statement:  "This is for you "K".  Even though I am scared and I hurt, I know mommy loves me and will feed me." 

This popped into my head as I got ready to tap.  After he had just learned to nurse, he wasn't allowed to nurse for 31 hours while they waited for an operating room to be available for his shoulder surgery.  He needed a general anesthetic, so he couldn't eat as they waited.  He did get a bit of liquid nourishment through the IV tube but he was very upset and when he started to nurse again he would actually growl if anyone tried to interrupt his nursing, even to burp him.  If they did stop him from nursing, he would scream with anger.

 Intuition has a great part in selecting the correct focus statement for other people.  When it came to me, I used it.  As we tapped, I could hear him go from crying to fussing, and finally to making small noises and then silence as we finished the last round.  I asked if he was asleep.

"No," said his mother quietly.  "He's just lying here, looking up at me."

 Since then both my daughter and my grand daughter have phoned for me to talk them through tapping.  This weekend I'm going up to visit and I'll teach them to do EFT by themselves and for others.  They're already doing the work, supplying the focus statement and tapping on themselves, I've just been their moral support. 

 I had the pleasure last week to go to my son and daughter-in-law's home in a state south of me, and I taught EFT to them and their four children.  They are now using EFT for stress from a new job, health problems, remembering football plays, going to swim team practice without the knot in the stomach, OCD and anger problems in a teenager, and being willing to keep trying for the 3rd grader with reading problems.  All are reporting less stress and good results in achieving success.

I know this is really long, but it's been a very exciting summer for our family and I wanted to give you some details of sample focus statements and situations in which EFT can be more than helpful.  It's true self healing and I'm very grateful to have received this instruction.

* some people can't honestly say "I totally and completely love and accept myself"  Carol Look from UK has used "I choose to feel or be _______" to replace the difficult phrase.   I've used both with success and my grand daughter prefers the "I choose" phrase.

Please note: While we all do EFT in our own personal way and it is very successful, I learned Emotional Freedom Techniques from Gary Craig and adhere closely to his process with conscious intention. For complete training in EFT for personal use or to be a certified practioner, please go to www.emofree.com where a FREE personal use manual is available for download and further instruction is available. As in all cases, please see a doctor for medical problems.