Why is everybody in therapy? Understanding the trend

           Lately, "therapy" appears to be the simple solution for human flaws, and wherever responsibility, decency, compassion, respect and accountability used to exist. If you are chauvinist, you are sent to therapy, racist? You need therapy, foul- mouth? Anger management is for you!

Whatever happened to ethics? Good manners, respect, prudence? It is easier for people to place blame on someone or something other than themselves. It is almost as plausible as saying "the devil made me do it" instead; the responsibility goes to the parents, the environment, childhood traumas, even the "weather." People are not disposed to assume any responsibility for their actions but worse, others feel that sending the "perpetrator" to therapy is the answer for every "offense."

It is extremely disturbing that children too, are being dragged into this trend. If by chance the kid is edgy after sitting for hours at home in front of the X-Box, and suddenly, while in school, his stored up energy surfaces, and he becomes fidgety, immediately the teacher, principal and counselor decide to place a label on his forehead "ADD," send him to the therapist, and give him a pill to control the squirmy behavior.  Maybe just allowing him to run around the school yard for a couple of hours until he drops to the ground from exhaustion would probably be sufficient.

Presently, being on therapy is a trendy thing to do. The common phrase that is being thrown around is that "recognizing you have a problem is half the solution." People assume that being on therapy, simulates taking responsibility for the transgression. Ultimately, the therapist will develop a "reason" for the individual's behavior, which eventually goes back to the parent's inability to set limits, over protecting the person's sensibilities, and blaming teachers and coaches for their shortcomings.

Is negatively cataloging every human natural emotion or behavior the healthy thing to do? Sadness, anger, boredom, restlessness, are they not natural human feelings? Is taking a pill to suppress or restrain those emotions healthy for society? Isn't teaching individuals and society as a whole, to deal with those emotions in a constructive, creative and positive way healthier?

What about the media? It constantly claims to have medication for every ailment, imaginary or real, there is always an even stronger pill, nose spray, patch, capsule and tablet than the one before. People are sheltered from experiencing any amount of discomfort; there is something always available at arm's reach.

In the course of a lifetime, there are periods which are challenging. Using these challenges as learning opportunities is a major accomplishment. It teaches individuals how to cope with situations, which will ultimately lead them to happiness. Yet, we now have "life coaches." These "life coaches" are supposed to motivate and focus individuals towards their life's goals. Such individuals however, never learned how to motivate and focus themselves and most are incapable of coping with life's challenges, on part because adults were always eager to protect them from every unpleasant situation. Example, in team sports, nobody looses every one wins and receives a trophy, there are no hurt feelings allowed. It's all about having fun. The result is having a grown up become unglued the first time someone corrects one of his mistakes.

I agree that there may be an occasion when extreme circumstances warrant therapy, and these situations can be so extreme that therapy may not be enough, and significant actions require to be taken for the individual's sake as well as the safety of others. But, these situations are less common than what we seem to have in this modern American society.

As I read about this phenomenon, I couldn't help but wonder if our culture as a whole is unhappy, maladjusted or just plain bored? Is this age of "convenience," allowing us more time for self doubt, self involvement, or just selfishness. Have we as a society, lost the art of communicating with one another? Are we concerned for the well-being of others and not just our own? Is therapy filling the void that disconnectedness leaves? Yet, it is not unusual to see people at the local coffee shop sitting by themselves, head down, eyes glued to a laptop. Unlike many countries where the coffee shop is the meeting place for friends, family or lovers, here individualism is practiced to the max.

Maybe individuals turn to a therapist, because, at least for an hour, two people are facing each other, and one individual is pretending to be interested in whatever the other has to say.

Church groups are a good example as to how some people seek the companionship of others. These communities come together for various reasons. First, they may be working for a common cause and the well being of others. Secondly, they share a vision and a different reason for existing. These communities allow everyone to personally interact with various groups, diverse cultures, ages and economic backgrounds. But most importantly, it permits individuals to acknowledge that whatever trouble he or she may be going through - there are others worse off and are able to see and experience how others accept their situation, are working to resolve it, and still manage to put other people's troubles and needs ahead of their own.

Therapy although excellent for some, should not replace individual accountability and responsibility. Each and every one of us must always strive to be strong and acknowledge that somewhere, there are others with worse problems and concerns. And, as we come out of our self-pity and become open to helping others we simultaneously help ourselves.

Therapy will never replace politeness, decency, and caring. There is no magic pill for this. Only each individual can strive to attain some level of compassion and decorum in the everyday dealings with each other. This society needs to take conscientiousness, be more accountable and responsible for its actions. If people had horrible parents, then they must work hard not to be like them. Blaming others' awful behavior in the past, for the way people behave in the present, only makes the person a perpetual victim and continues to empower the people from the past. In this country in particular, freedom of choice includes choosing to live a happy, well adjusted life, becoming a caring person or choosing to live a miserable life, and blame others for the lack of motivation and understanding.

Life is learning to deal with happiness as well as pain and loss. Life is about giving to others so that we can obtain our own happiness. Life is boring only to those who lack imagination. Life is lonely only for those who don't seek companionship. Finally, life is whatever you choose to make of it.