Turning Fifty - the big 5-Ohhh!

Well in a couple of days I will be fifty.  Time to evaluate again.  New decades seem to be extra significant.

My first thought is if I live to be as long as my father; I have six years.  That is significant in that he died of cancer.  I have already; praise be to God, been successful in two battles with cancer; colon cancer and treatments in 2002 and leukemia in 2003.  I have to say so far successful; one you have cancer; living life is somewhat like Domocles may have felt like during his life.  You always have that sword hanging over your head by a thread.  But we are all terminal.  I just have periodic, scheduled reminders with my oncologist.

My second thought is that I have lived what is probably more than half of my productive adult years.  At fifty; the time for retirement years is looming and of course part of that productive years is building enough of a nest egg to perhaps be able to enjoy some of those years.   I have already been planning and have a five and ten year plan.  In five years I hope to cut back at my current job or get a job where I am working less.  Our house will be paid for and we will be able to afford getting by on less.  In ten years my wife and I are looking into travel; but traveling where we can also make a difference.  We are hoping to be involved in helping in Christian missions in some way; particulars still to be worked out. 

My third thought is looking back over what I have accomplished.  I am not one to encourage looking back and either dwelling on your past or resting on your past laurels.  But I am one to look back on my past to learn from my mistakes and to be encourage as to how far God has matured me over those years.   I do play the game of if and then at times; but honestly only would make one significant change that I had control over in looking back if I had things to do over again.  That would have been to stay in the military, get my degree while in the military, qualify for OCS and retire an officer of the military.  I look back in my time in the Air Force very fondly.  But I also recognize that for me, I made the best decision by getting out when I did.  I would not have accomplished all of those things because I did not know what I know now.   But I also look back and am thankful that I have taken advantages of opportunities I have had to travel and the friends I have made along the way.  I look back and know that I have been blessed immeasureably.  I was reminded of that when my wife threw me a surprise birthday party on April 1.  I had about seventy family and friends attend to celebrate with us.  It was an awesome time and I was surprised.  My wife outdid herself; but she always does.

My final thought because this is getting long is to look ahead at what I have to accomplish, Lord willing.  I want to continue to grow in God's word.  But more that that, I pray that I will apply God's word more.  That means love those that may be or seem unloveable to me more; not be so quick to judge others, not be so quick to get angry, to readily and easily forgive wrongs, and to let God guide more and direct me more instead of allowing myself to be motivated by my own selfish interests and prejudices.  Hopefully, if God allows I will have 20 or 30 more good years and can achieve more. 

Most of what I have will seem ordinary and mundane.  But there are some, they would wish to have a small taste of what I have had.  I pray they may.  I have been blessed more than I deserve.