IDENTIFYING WHO YOU ARE

Everyone has different parts that make up their personality.  You reveal these parts in different ways.

Social roles: the way you behave with others (ie. parents, friends)

Traits: intelligent, hard-working, generous, demanding, etc.

Attitudes: liberal, conservative, judgemental, tolerant, etc.

Talents: creative, imaginative, athletic, artistic, etc.

Everyone reveals these parts in the way in which they interact in different situations and relate to others.  Sometimes we let our parts shine for others to see.  Other times we repress them - perhaps because they embarrass us or we don't like them.  Repressing a part of you can sometimes cause it to surface in a hostile or negative way.  If you recognize that part instead, you may be able to turn it into a positive one even though it may occassionally come out as negative.

I used to call my anger "the monster".  I felt it was deep within me and I had this responsibility to never let the monster out.  When I was a kid my anger would result in outbursts and fits.  Some people would say that I was just a brat.  That was far from the truth. The fact is, my parents were both yellers when they were angry. I didn't want to yell like them, so I repressed the anger and gave it a name.  When it did come out I was horribly angry, to the point that I was out of control at times.  As I grew older I realized that the monster inside me was a part of me I simply needed to acknowledge and learn to control.  It wasn't bad - it didn't make me a bad person - I just needed to understand it and use it only when I really needed it (sort of like a tool).

The first step to identifying who you are is to identify your different parts.  Make a list and try to put down as many parts of yourself as you can.  Many will come to you easily.  Some will be more difficult.  List your quality in the first column.  In the second column try to compare that quality to some well-known figure in history, comics, popular culture, etc.  In the third column, write whatever remarks seem important to the parts of you.

Here are my examples:

Strong / Superman / Sometimes it gets me in trouble when I want to be sensitive

Courageous / Martin Luther King Jr. / Helps me overcome life's obstacles

Negative / Ann Coulter / Mostly keeps me from being happy

Here is a list of traits I put together that might help you create your own list.

angry  closed  confused  humorous  perfectionist  ambitious  compassionate  fair  loveable  popular  anxious  cheap  greedy  laid-back  stubborn  cynical  generous  confident  sensitive  charming  cute  good  caring  macho  moody  naive  reliable  sarcastic  emotional  talkative  assertive  artistic  materialistic

These are by far not the only traits possible in a human life.  Sometimes I feel like I am all of these things (except macho - LOL).

Remember that these different and sometimes contradictory parts of ourselves are real, valid, and relevant.  We have more opportunities, more control, if we are willing to acknowledge and accept them.

In the comments section feel free to give your own examples.