Sorry, I wasn't sure what to actually title this but I'm trying to find some help and options for my mom. Long story short my mom's boyfriend of 5 years packed up everything and left with no warning while my mom was at work. This happened today a week ago while I was at her house doing laundry. Then this Saturday he came back with 4 or 5 guys and a uhaul and had them clear their house out. He left my mom with nothing but her lamps,a mirror, her clothing, and her dishes. Pretty much everything else is gone.He didn't even leave her a bed. He's a jerk and coward for doing this. Here's the problem...
Both names are on the mortgage and deeds.He's the primary. My mom can't afford the house on her income and it's clear he really doesn't care about the house and only took the items in the house to be spitful and hurt my mom. He moved back home with his mom and once again will have no rent to pay. He lived there intil he was 45 when they bought the house together 3 years ago.
Her boyfriend wont even talk to my mom and changed his address.As of this moment all the bills other then phone is in his name. Nothing has been shut off and my mom was told she's not allowed to change the locks.She's calling the mortgage company and making phone calls tomarrow to see what she might be able to do.She really wants to keep the house but without him signing off the mortgage and her being able to refinance or do a quick sale I don't know what's going to happen.They don't have much equity and I really don't believe he'll allow his credit to get rueined by allowing it to go into foreclosure to just be a jerk.He has the money to pay but doesnt like responsibility.We are pretty sure he's going to shut off the utlities soon. My mom and brother have been staying there and using what they have left to make it intil they can find a place to go.
Where we live there isn't really even decent apartment complexes that are resonable in size and price.Both my mom and my brother wouldn't be able to move further away because of their jobs and they're only other option may be to move back in at my grams.Her house is for sale currently and has been for a few months. She also plans on charging them rent and is making things very difficult already.She's even making them get help to quit smoking before they can move in and isn't allowing them to bring anything else other then clothing and items they need all the time.
My question is has anyone ever went through this? My mom doesn't have money for a lawyer and I know them not being married makes a big difference.They were engaged but my mom hasnt even really wore the ring which he even took when he left.He paid for most of the furniture in cash and my mom has the receipts for it. She has copies she had us make of the important house information after she realized he's been rumaging in her paperwork. I'm sure there are some options and something she's intitled too right?
I was also wondering if anyone knows if there's a way for her to still stay in the house if he refuses to allow refinancing and wont sign off on things?Is there any options and suggestions.We've been thinking of everything we possible can and trying to help my mom out.And I just wanted to mention...my mom just has bad taste in men and seems to chose men that are immature and drink. Things were failed do to him and like I said she had no knowledge of his plans to up a leave. I am limited to what I can do to help and offer. My husband and I have a 15 month old and are house hunting ourselves and can't offer more then a meal, support and moving help when we can. So, any help here would be great. We live in PA in case any of you in PA know where to start.
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Comments: 16
Good luck and sorry for your family
My mom consulted an attorney before but can't afford one.She wouldn't give her any information that was helpful with out a retainer.My mom lives paycheck to paycheck and scrapes by.We've personally had trouble finding a free lawyer to use when we had an issue with our landlord not fixing things and their maintance men damaging our property.Even then they wanted a retainer after talking with him. It's not a good situation. We knew the rest though and she's waiting to hear back from the lender they used.They went through a realitor so no lawyer was involved before. We knew the options aren't good but he refuses to contact her at all or any any correspondances.
She's willing to sell but he's trying to do the opposite of everything she basically wants.She doesn't want her credit ruiened either and had problems with her credit after my father and her got divorced.Things are fine now but she still doesn't make enough. She made she her name was on the mortgage because of not being able to have the house if something happened. It's basically a matter of let it foreclose, sell it, or find a way to refinance which she also is willing to do but he wont sign off on anything or talk to her.
Yes, the cops said she couldn't change the locks and my mother is on edge.She's barely slept for almost 2 days straight and is very jumpy. They broke the lockable screen door too on the way out.She has been locking everything and also with deadbolts now.As well as using the other door since he techinically should have a key for that door and can get in. Though, if he doesn't realize it might not be able to get in.
We also called the utility companies yesterday and spoke with some of them. The electric company is made aware of the situation and the advice I gave my mom was good.He still hasnt' shut anything off or got in contact with any of the companies about shutting things off.
So, intil he does my mom isn't switching anything in her name. He's responsible for it and since his name is on everything he is responsible to take care of it as well as shutting it off. I'm assuming he is eitrher waiting for her to move out and then may move everything back in to be a jerk or thinks he's not screwing himself over. Because in reality he is.He never set a start date on the change of addy cards and well...the post office is holding his mail at the moment. Since things are in his name if he doesn't pay them the collections notice will be going to him. =/ or should I make a =) face. But, for the moment my mom is there and we are still trying to see what happens over the next few days and how we can make this work.If she can refinance or even maybe get a roomate they should be ok. Thats of course if my brother pays rent to mom.With his vehicle totaled and looking for a new one that may not work either.
I agree, call the bank, ask them for help and what to do. Also, ask about short sales... If he chooses to ruin his credit to be spiteful well, it will ruin hers as well. They both signed the mortgage and they both took on the financial responsibility. Legal aide is an important factor in this, as both of their names are on the mortgage. Because the market is so bad, they are really not going after people who have to foreclose on houses. I know it stinks but maybe moving in with grandma for a bit until she can get on her feet again, isn't such a bad idea. She can always come over for that hot meal from you...
They also have lawyers that offer probono work... Check into the bank, and seek legal advice at this point because they werent married I am not sure how the law or what the law states in your state & county.
If he is so very hateful and immature, your mom should be wishing him good ridence, if he took anything of hers, than there is always small claims court, again legal advice... A lot of times you can find attorneys that wont charge or have specials on consultaitions..
In any case, good luck, I dont see any quick fix.... I wish you and your family well!!!
Maybe if she goes that way, maybe just maybe he will call her back..
Please - tell your mother to take the high road and forget him. What a shame that he's left her in this pathetic situation but the harder one falls, the higher one bounces. She will probably lose the house eventually. Then, start looking for shelter and a roof over her head. It's as basic as that. I hope that she begins the process soon as emotions in these matters only hold folks back. The guy has left her high and dry.
I think she needs to quit smoking and move in with your grandmother and pay rent and be glad she has at least that option. There aren't many laws protecting people just living together. It's a bad situation to get into - everyone has to have some money tucked away for survival... I'm sorry that's about all I have to offer and I wish all of you the best of luck. Salud.
I wish her good luck.
if there's not much equity in the house, he may choose to let it go into foreclosure or sign it off to the bank - Did your mother give him money at all - for a downpayment or anything??? Anyway, just checking back - Salud.
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