Thank goodness it's almost over...

Is it wrong for me to not to be thrilled about a friends wedding I'm in? I feel horrible but I just can't be happy about being in this wedding.I had no clue when I orginally agreed to be in this wedding that it would be such a pain in my butt and an extremly pricey expense that we really can't afford at the moment. We are friends but not close and you think with her wedding being this weekend she'd be getting details together and calling everyone to let us know whats going on.Nope, I've only recieved a letter a week ago from her mom with the address and time to be at the church for rehersal.

I gave this friend plenty of notice before dresses were ordered.I actually gave her notice about 2 or 3 weeks after my daughter was born and told her that I couldn't afford the dress since we didnt have that money lying around and that I think it's best if she can find someone else if she can.I explained everything to her and she seemed to understand.The expenses didn't include shoes, altertions and other expenses relating to this wedding such as my hubby renting a tux, a gift, if my mom couldn't watch the baby and trying to get a baby sitter that I trust and so on.

It's a mess and after looking back over the directions for the church,reception hall and where pictures are being taken.I realized we are back tracking on top of it. I emailed her a few weeks ago and that was the last time I heard from her. I thought there was maybe a mistake in her invitations. I asked her if there was suppose to be a food choice card to mail back with the response cards and she was snippy in the email she wrote back. I wasn't able to attend her bridal shower because my daughter was sick.She had a fever from her 2 month old shots and I didn't want to just leave her. She said she understood but now I wonder.

I'm also the shortest person in her wedding party as well as the thinnest. I'm not a twig but I'm not hefty either. She apparently has me paired up with her cousin who is 6 foot something while me I'm lucky if I measure 5' 1" with heels and is the biggest guy in the wedding party.I mean he's a big guy.Her mom tried having her switch her cousin and some other guy around but it didn't fly with her.I've never met her soon to be hubby or anyone other than her and her mom.I only talked with the maid of honor online and that was about the bridal shower and dress.

I'm so glad to be getting this wedding over with.I dont think I'd mind so much but normally you talk to people in your wedding party about whats going on. I also wish we wouldn't have had this big expense that we can't afford. The dress cost more then my custom made wedding outfit as well as my shoes. It cost almost 100.00 to alter the dress. David's bridal told us it would be 35.00 at the most. When I called the quoted me a hundred and I could barely understand the woman on the phone.She had a heavy russian accent which I am not used to and I kept having to say can you please repeat that. I ended up taking my dress somewhere else.David's also wanted to charge me a rush fee yet my appointment was before another one of the girls that's in the wedding party as well.

To make things worse when we went into get measured for the dress I was still pregnant and the girl wanted me to order a dress that would've been 4 times to big after I had the baby.I'm glad I didn't listen to her and waited. I'm wearing my normal dress size but still needed the top altered and the length.Not to mention the only place I would've found a bra in my size is at one of those sex clothing stores and if I'm lucky a lingerie shop. I wasn't about to spend 80.00 on a bra I will only be wearing once. As of Saturday night I will be relieved and exhausted that this wedding is over. I didn't even have this much stress planning my own wedding and getting things done with mine.

Comments: 13

Heather M. May 10, 2007, 4:30pm EDT

SOUNDS EXAUSTING!

reply to this comment

Deb J. May 10, 2007, 4:31pm EDT

You poor thing! I really feel for you! It's too bad you didn't know all this mess ahead of time ~ I'm sure you would have never agreed to even be in the wedding! Some people are just so uttterly thoughtless ~ case in the "the bride to be".

reply to this comment

Stacey "Yeah, I Said It" H. May 10, 2007, 4:38pm EDT

Go, and have a good time. If you're stressing like this, imagine what she's dealing with! And if it really gets bad, get drunk at the reception and spill your guts about your girlfriend BEFORE she met her intended! Call it "Wingman's Revenge"!

No, seriously, it's your friend's day, it's stressful and I'm sure she doesn't mean to put you through this, but I don't think she'd ask to include you in her nuptials unless she really cared about you and your friendship. She seemed to be understanding about your financial situation, she's just got a lot on her plate right now. See what you can do to help make her day that much more special, you seem to be organized and think ahead, maybe her arrangements can use some fine tuning, but be careful not to tread on anyone toes. You'll be okay and so will she.

reply to this comment

Bonnie C. May 10, 2007, 5:11pm EDT

You are a good friend, enjoy the dress and keep it for another occassion. You said you have a baby now, well that will probly be one of the last nice things for a little while so enjoy it and hopefully you will look back and say ah, well...that's life

reply to this comment

Shawnee G. May 10, 2007, 5:15pm EDT

Another thing to think about is if the maid of honor has only been in contact once, maybe she is dropping the ball on things she was supposed to help with and the bride is having to pick up the slack?
I hope things go smooth and that you get to enjoy some of the time while you are all dressed up and feeling prettier than a normal day.

reply to this comment

Clare Stella May 10, 2007, 5:19pm EDT

I think today's weddings are crazy and way too expensive. I also think bridal shops are a rip-off. The dresses NEVER fit and always require very expensive alterations. I don't blame you for feeling aggravated about the whole thing. You'll have a good time but I bet you will be glad to put it behind you. My son is getting married in July and I love how he and his lovely fiancee are doing it. They are getting married at a beautiful lighthouse on the ocean (bride, groom, immediate family). Then we are going to a restaurant for a family dinner. The next day they are having a huge party at their house, catered but everyone can dress casually. They invited everyone they know to the party. A lot of the pressure is off because they are doing things simply. They are a lovely young couple and spent all their money buying a house so decided an inexpensive wedding where everyone could enjoy themselves would be the best way to do it. I am very happy.

reply to this comment

Jill~Sexy Back~ V. May 10, 2007, 5:31pm EDT

I think you have every right to be upset. Sounds like you're dealing with a bridezilla. I'm sorry for your trouble. Go to the wedding, get it over with....and try to sell everything you had to buy for the wedding on ebay. That way you can get some of your money back. A few weeks After the wedding, when the bride has hopefully calmed down...maybe you can politely tell her how you feel. Good luck.

reply to this comment

Janet H. May 10, 2007, 6:43pm EDT

When my daughter was a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding, I had no idea how much it was going to cost us. It was around $300 for the dress and shoes, then another $100 for the alterations, plus the cost of the hair and nails done, and all the other stuff you have to pay for. Then my daughter gained weight and couldn't even wear the dress again later for her prom. Plus, someone stepped on the hem of the dress (sheer net part as well as satin part) and ripped it!

reply to this comment