I was a Sophomore in High School and there was a sub, Mr. Live, teaching for our regular instructor who was out sick. How the conversation started out i cannot remember but i do remember the words that came out of his mouth and i will most likely never forget them. I still hadn't came out to anyone yet and i was very much afraid too. I was shy and wasn't all that sociable and extremely backward when it came to groups of people and speaking my peace.
The class was going smoothly and somehow the top switched to gay rights. I remember sitting there as the conversation went on and feeling somewhat awkward and out of place, not sure what to say and if i should join in the conversation; and if i did, would they find out my secret? Would they know? so i never spoke up and in my mind now it is painfully obvious that i should have.
A teachers place is only to teach. They can have their opions and express them as they please but in a place of learning, their needs to be a level of discretion when you let those beliefs be known. My instructor Mr. Live (if i knew his real name i would be posting it as well.) had no such qualms about letting hismelf be heard. If i remember correctly, and i am pretty sure i do because i wasn't paying much attention at the time and it woke me up in a hurry, he said :
"Fags don't deserve the same rights that me and wife get."
He didn't know that his one of his students was gay. He didn't know how much he hurt me when he said that, he didn't know how disgusted i was when i heard those words. But maybe the sad fact is he didn't care. I think it's pretty obvious myself but some say it's not and the fact that he didn't give a second thought to those words slipping from his mouth still disgusts me today. To see such hate in a persons eye for no reason is obscene. I feel sorry for this man and sadly, i hate to say, i carry around a small amount of hate for him also. To say something so hatefully and so blindly in front of a classroom of children who you have no right to say such a thing appalls me.
I regret never saying anything, making a statement, even getting revenge but i never did. I regret it but it comes to show you that there are some people who don't know their boundaries even when they cleary should. I hope no one else has to hear words like that from a teacher, a person you are suppoed to respect and trust, because when he said that, both of those things crumbled to nothing and he became nothing but a sad old man that i felt sorry for.
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Comments: 12
You're right, a teacher's job is to teach, not judge!
When he said this:
"Fags don't deserve the same rights that me and wife get."
To me, he crossed a line that ought to never be crossed. What on earth could that possibly have had to do with teaching? These are the kind of things, that cut so deep, hurt so much, that you might try to forgive them, but you'll never forget them!
I am so sorry this happened to you--you're not alone as we have friends that similar things have happened to. We also have grown-kids that still call us Mom and Dad and have put up with this type of abuse from teachers, their own parents, etc's and it leaves scars.
This is Featured in Gather Essentials, Writing, Monday, (MWE), though I will be rotating the features, I believe many will relate to this.
Marilyn (Monday's Editor, MWE)
I'm glad that you are able to share this with the forum, Jeremy, and I would encourage you to also cut yourself a little "slack" for not saying something while in the moment. I don't think that many people, faced with the same situation, would have done anything differently. Kudos for getting it off your chest, sharing it here and moving on with your life. Clearly, you are a strong individual, and maybe this particular circumstance helped mold you into who you are today!
Another problem is teachers who proselityze for a political party
It sounds like you were in a school that accepted a person for who they were, which is the only right way it ought to ever be done.
I pity that fool.