Now before anyone gets all offended, this is not an attack on a religious person. This is a story of an evil old man who likes to torment me at my place of work.
I am a cashier at a grocery store. We'll call it Foodmart. I have been a cashier for four years. . . six months. . . and six days (not that I am counting or anything. . . ) and in my experience, I have had the pleasure / misfortune to meet people from all walks of life. Everyone has to eat.
With that said, I have also met some of the biggest assholes to have walked this earth (at least in my area of this earth). Some people are just so hateful I think they wake up in the morning pissed off and want to share their foul mood with everyone they come in contact with. . . maybe even seek out a particular person to harass on a weekly basis.
This brings me to my latest "favorite" customer: "Jesus Saves Man".
"Jesus Saves Man" is an old bastard. . . his hateful disposition has had probably sixty or seventy years to ferment in to a nice cestpool of evil. He looks for things to pick fights with cashiers with. . . . he'll argue over a penny price differnce (and is usually wrong) and then cuss the cashier out with the foulest possible arrangment of profanity. All the while, wearing a stark white hat with big black letters that proclaims: JESUS SAVES!
What makes me say this man is pure evil? Well let me share with you my most recent dealing with the man.
Jesus Saves Man (hinceforth known as JSM) walks into the front doors of my store, cussing under his breath about parking. Mind you it's the first of the month. . . at 7pm. Anyone with half a brain in my town knows to stay as far away from Foodmart as humanly possible during what is lovingly refered to as "Welfare Week" by the locals. After about an hour of wandering in the store JSM comes through my line with a 5lb bag of red potatoes. They ring up $3.49. I know they are ringing up right because I had bought some the night prior to make mashed potatoes. JSM starts cussing up a storm:
"Those GODDAMNED potatoes are $1.49. You're trying to cheat me out of my money you bitch. This store ain't nothin' but crooks. fucking crooks and liars. I ain't payin' that. You're trying to cheat me. . .. ." (grammar not changed to protect the stupid)
So I send a bagger back to go check, we always do. It's store policy. He continues his rant:
"Why the fuck are you sending that shit to do that. I ain't lying. . . you're calling me a liar you damn moron. . this store ain't nothin but crooks I can get 10lb o potaters at Aldi for 1.49 you assholes steal people's money. .. " and on and on and on and on. . . .
So the bagger comes back and she said they were indeed $3.49. JSM pitches a fit, screaming, red faced and shaking his hands. "THAT'S WRONG I KNOW IT's $1.49! You assholes are cheaters liars theives ain't nothing but crooks!!!"
About this time my supervisor "T" walks by and sees JSM in a rage. I tell her I am no longer dealing with him, and she can take care of him (If i had to deal with him much longer. . . I would have punched him in the face. I can only take so much verbal abuse). And what did he do . . .
She let him have it for $1.49.
I don't know who I wanted to strangle more. It's no wonder these morons act the way they do, they know if they throw a big enough fit they get what they want. Anywho. .
As JSM makes his way out the door cussing and raving still. . . . I feel kinda ballsy and say loudly:
"Sir. . .!"
He looks around. . . to find me smiling ear to ear. . . .
"GOD BLESS YOU SIR" I say in my fakest cheesy voice I can muster.
"FUCK YOU!" He screams as he flipps me off and walks out the door.
I love hypocrites.
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Comments: 27
You should not be expected to deal with this nutcase. He should be arrested and then barred from ever entering the store again.
I'm serious.
And I'm not surprised he's wearing a Jesus Saves hat.
But your response was hilarious. ;)
I also loved your comment to him....."God bless you sir", - that usually gets them everytime!!
I also loved your comment to him....."God bless you sir", - that usually gets them everytime!!
Phyllis ~~~"HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME"~~~ R.,"
I most certainly Agree!!!!!
Drives me insane to no end. .. retail work is nothing but psychological abuse day in and day out.
When my son worked at a National Park store for a summer, he came home often, upset at how someone would climb his frame about a price or availability of items or whatever. I finally got him to realize that the customer wasn't really mad at him, the person he is. The customer is mad at the clerk. And who the clerk is, doesn't matter. They would be mad anyway.
Your old coot is likely mentally deranged. Your manager should have escorted him from the store and called the polic to keep him out. I am surprised she didn't He is a loose cannon and who knows when he will go further than just verbal abuse.
I have had customers like that, truly mentally ill people and when they are violent in attitude I refused to serve them. I would close my register and call the manager. If the manager wants to stand there and take that abuse that is their right.
I would ask, do you have a union? If so, your rights to feel safe on your job is protected. There are crazy people out on the streets everywhere these days.
Because I wouldn't scan one of thier reward cards, FROM ANOTHER ESTABLISHMENT!, they wanted me to scan thier speedway card instead of our store's shopper's card..and got mad at me when I told them I wouldn't do it becuase it would technically be fraud...frauding us, for letting them get the member's discounts...and not using thier member card..and fruading speedway..for them getting points on thier card from speedway for using it with us..... they got all mad and said that I must be "new" and they do it all the time...when I told them I'd been with the company for almost 3 years..and that even though they may do it "all the time" it is still against company and store policy....they eventually shut up and handed me the right card to be scanned. That should be my own "asshole Chronicle" heh.
I hope someone came in later and you have an uplifting story to tell..
The daughter had borrowed her professer's book and ruined it in an accident. She needed a replacement to save face.
As this was long before the advent of computerized inventory, we checked on our shelves for the single copy our paper records said was in the store, but found nothing.
The mother & daughter, however, continued their search and-- sure enough-- found the copy misshelved in another part of the store.
They were absolutely LIVID and both began a verbal tirade. One would begin cursing and the other would feed off of her until you'd think the world was coming to an end. And even though we carried over 100,000 books, they made it clear they WOULD NOT accept a discount for this inexcusable incident.
My manager stepped in and, nearly bankrupt with frustration, asked them what they expected: "Do you want me to give you the book for free?"
"YES." they said in unison.
So he did.
I think back on the incident and cringe: I doubt they were transformed into the Happy Customers Anxious To Revisit, but sullen, bad-mouthing jerks. I wish the professor was in the store so s/he could see how the "princess pupil" behaved.