R.E.S.P.E.C.T--Find out what it means to Dad

As Father's Day approaches, we enter that small window of time in which it's considered acceptable to celebrate men.  Sadly, it has become culturally okay to vilify men the rest of the year. The jokes you hear about men--openly with no apologies--would get you tarred and feathered if you said the same thing about women.  Girls walk around with very anti-boy t-shirts on, taking the "battle of the sexes" to our young sons.  If a boy wore a shirt that proclaimed that "Boys Rule and Girls Drool" he'd get sent home from school.  Can you say Double Standard?

What makes this all the more damaging is that men need respect like women need love.   According to the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, this is not to say that women don't need respect or that men don't need love.  It's just that the urgency of these needs is transposed.  One is water and the other is food.  Both are needed but one is just a more urgent need.  For men, respect is the more urgent need. 

If we want to truly honor the men in our lives, we should use tell them how much we admire, appreciate and respect them for both who they are and for what they do.  His spirit responds to those words.  Treating your husband or father with unconditional respect speaks as loudly to him as unconditional love does to your female family members. This was a revelation to me and my relationships with the men in my life have really improved since I put these ideas into practice.

Here are some tips to boost the man in your life--

1) Write a respect note to him.  You can say simply that you respect some particular quality he has or something he's done.  Slip it in his briefcase.

2)Speak about some quality you admire in him to someone else in his hearing.  This is especially effective if you speak to your children about their father.  It has the double whammy of building up the father and showing the children how to be respectful and appreciative--something you want them to be with you as well.

3)  Listen to his opinions and thank him for his advice.  You might be surprised at what insights he has on some situation that has been bugging you.   

4)   When you tell him what's going on in your life, do him the favor of telling him whether you just want to vent or whether you want him to put forth suggestions to fix the problem.  If you don't he'll be in "fix it" mode automatically and he will be offended when you get upset about his advice.

5)As with all the people you love, extend to him the benefit of the doubt.  If he says something that could be taken negatively, assume that his purpose wasn't to annoy you or criticize.  If he is a good man and generally has good intentions, this will save a lot of emotional angst.  I'm sure you'd appreciate it if he would do the same for you. 

So let's give a little more respect to the men we love this month for Father's Day.  It's a gift that he's guaranteed to love.