I know some of you are at home moms, I as well know many of you say this won't happen to me. Lets just take some time and say what if?
You are doing you normal activities of getting up, getting your baby ready to go to the sitter so you can go to work. You are in such a rush like many couples who both have to hold a job to make ends meet. You rush off to the sitter that you have been going to since the birth of your new pride and joy. You kiss her or him and off to work you go.
The traffic is backed up and you really wonder are you going to make it at work on time? Luckily you do and start your day off as normal. Lunch time comes and you decide you are going out for lunch to get some fresh air away from the office. You get back and you get this message "It's an emergency you must get to the hospital!"
You grab your purse and your keys running out the door to call your spouse at the same time you are running. You find out that your sitter had laid down your baby for a nap and went into check on the baby and he / she wasn't breathing! You tell your spouse you are on your way and you will meet them at the hospital as soon as posssible. That trip to the hospital seems like such a long trip and you again wonder as you did this morning will you ever make it there and will you on time?
You and your spouse make it there about the same time and you find out your baby is on life support. All of a sudden you have CPS, and detectives all over the place and asking questions. Come to find out your baby is a victim of SBS! Otherwise known as Shaking Baby Syndrome. You find out this babysitter that you thought you checked out so well, has her daycare license, and has been doing this job for years lost her cool. The baby had been crying about 10:30 this morning and she went and slammed them into the crib hitting the side. She walks out to latter walk in and the baby isn't breathing! This is approximately 2 1/2 hours latter.
The next morning after you sit by your baby all night you have to make that choice of removing your child off life support. Your baby dies peacefully in your arms.
What would you do? What would you want done to that sitter? We can all sit here and say you would make her pay but with the system today would you? We can say she won't make it to prison you will get to her first. But come on will you? You can tell me you know your sitter they won't do it but do you? Lets forget about the sitter part this can be your husband, your wife, your mother, your father, you sibling. I am here to tell you people this is reality. This is one form of child abuse among infants today.
Some of you got upset over my article on abuse in the Amish saying I was judging. In no part of my articles am I pointing the finger to any group. I am trying to open your eyes. Some of you I can say now will close this article before finishing reading it. Some of you will say I may of done it sneaky. I am sorry this is reality and it is time everyone wakes up and smells the roses. Children are dying and tonight, tomorrow, next year it can be your child. Again I ask you what will you do? Then will you sit in my chair and become one of these huge advocates wanting to make a difference? Why not start now people? Why do people have to have that wake up call before they open their eyes? Well, I am here to give you that wake up call. I am a survivor, Baby James is a survivor, do I need to start listing angels? Am I upset? Yes I am. Am I upset at the abusers? Yes but not only them I am just upset at the people who wants to say these stories are to sad and not want to even help by signing a law. Some say Baby James Law is to strict well you know what? These people are murdering children! Not only murdering as in never on earth again they are murdering them from a life as a normal adult. They will never be the same no matter how young or old they are. No matter how much cancelling they have. I am one of those children I will never be the same at 39 as I would of been if I would of never been abused and at 39 now. I know I wouldn't be the same advocate I am today if it wasn't for my abuse. To that I think my mother, father and uncle. For that I am fighting to no ends to make a difference. I look at this little boy running around here , the same one that just dumped a box of cookies a hour ago on the floor after I told him no. Did I kick him, punch him, cuss him? No, I put him in time out and made him help me clean up the mess. Then I spoke to him why he got time out hugged him and said James Mommy loves you.
Common Symptoms of Shaken Baby Syndrome:
- Lethargy / decreased muscle tone
- Extreme irritability
- Decreased appetite, poor feeding or vomiting for no apparent reason
- Grab-type bruises on arms or chest are rare
- No smiling or vocalization
- Poor sucking or swallowing
- Rigidity or posturing
- Difficulty breathing
- Seizures
- Head or forehead appears larger than usual or soft-spot on head appears to be bulging
- Inability to lift head
- Inability of eyes to focus or track movement or unequal size of pupils
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Comments: 64
Above all, with time I would forgive her/him. It is God's job to judge, not mine & he loves every one of us, even the child molesters, baby hurters, murderer's & all. If they have a truly repentant heart - God will forgive them, but even if they do not ask for forgiviness, God still loves them & His heart breaks~
Here are some simple acts of kindness: a hug, a kind word, an offer to babysit for a few hours, a prayer. All of these are intended toward a person who might be violent or potential turn to violent action. My first reaction was "I can't do that." But then I realized that I can. Will it solve the problem? No, but how can it hurt to demonstrate the behavior we believe they should engage in?
There is so much more that could be done in these situations, and I am glad that there are people who are passionate, caring, and action-focused involved. Thank you, Renee, for your dedication and action to help these children.
Stand up now and make the right decision.
just put the baby down in their crib or play pen and walk away.....
call me. I will help....
It can make all the difference in the world.
Angel
I was a stay-at-home mother. I remember all too often coming home at night and no light on and no heat turned up when I came home from school. Mom was a teacher, so she stayed late to correct papers. I vowed my children would come home to a well-lit, warm house with warm treats to eat. I always spent time with them and listened to the day's stories before we went to do chores together.
I wonder which time the abuse caused me to be the way I am today. There was plenty of it from all sides, so it's hard to know. But I put a stop to the abuse in my family's lineage. My kids got one swat for each year old they were, after we had sat down and calmly discussed what they had done. It was never mentioned again after that. Up until the day Mom died, I heard about what a bad girl I had been back when. She's been dead for ten years and I still have flash backs to the nasty things she had to say. I pray one day they won't come to the forefront anymore.
No, I hate abuse in any form and will do anythng to stop it.
Barbara S.
Later, my uncle who was a doctor in Chicago figured out what was wrong with him. He had been sick the entire time he was crying so much, but our own pediatrician hadn't been able to figure it out.
So many times people lose their tempers with deadly consequences. Yes, they need to pay. People spend years in prison from losing control and killing someone. And well they should.
But an innocent child is often abused because those who need to speak up before it happens don't. I urge tougher laws. But more than that, I urge you to prevent it in whatever way you can. The person on that hotline saved more than one life that day.
A shaken baby is the most horrible crime, and it is a reflex for so many immature, poor-impulse control personalities. Teenagers, new fathers, elderly people, and others who are perhaps in need of better child development education could be helped a lot more than we do.
Who cares if you are criticized by people who have never been in that position or seen a baby who is blind, deaf and retarded from a caretaker's shaking and will be unable to meet any of its own needs ever? Let the chips fall where they may. Infant abuse and child abuse are horrors and nobody should be cavalier about who is watching their kids.
It breaks my heart hearing these stories.
They always bring tears to my eyes...
I just couldn' t imagine this happening to my daughter..
I know a family that had 2 children that were at risk of SIDS = they had to have a breathing monitor hooked up to them. They were fine. They made it.
I never had any trouble with sitters, though many have. Or with other relatives.
I did have a friend who got a call from her sitter once that she had to rush to the doctor's office where the sitter was taking the baby. A freak accident had occured and an old tree fell; a branch fell across the baby.
The baby did end up alright, it seems, but it was a scary time. The sitter had the tree removed the same afternoon.
Renee, You are doing great. Keep writing these articles and don't worry about criticism. You may be saving a baby's life.
I understand the burn-out feeling. CPS is understaffed, underfunded, and overwhelmed with cases.
God bless your foundation.
Bits and Pieces About Cats
YOo do a good service. Thanks.
But, I urge people not to judge all caretakers based on these stories, especially since most child abuse is at the hands of the parents. Most daycares and preschools are very safe and caring environments for young children to be in, I for one am looking forward to the day that Audrey is 3 and can go to preschool and I can go back to work.
My father has been an infant/toddler care taker for years now, and I have never seen him so much as raise his voice - I feel safer leaving my daughter with him or any of his co-worker's than I do leaving her with her own father (her father has a tendency to fall asleep before her).
Every child deserves the right to be loved, and protected and cared for. They deserve the right to life, just as any adult has already had.
Keep up the great posts.
Dawn
I signed and I know many more are needed!
God Bless those lil'souls, and you for doing what you can.
Crystal wonderful idea so I added the link thanks.
Bethany if I could see you now I would hug you! You know who saved your sons life? You did! You took that step and I commend you for doing it. That makes you so caring of a mother. I think we need to all stand up and give Bethany a standing ovation you deserve it Bethany. Again thank you.
You saw a film on a person losing it and shaking a child. You saw the child's funeral.
You were then told that this could happen to you or your child. it relly made me more aware of what some one else could do.
The death penalty is too easy on any body who hrms a child.
Phyllis I agree with you totally.
I
Shawn, I agree with you there.
Even at the height of my stress, being a single parent through toddler hood I was able to keep my anger and impulses completely under control, I might go outside and scream into a pillow to let off steam after she was safely asleep in bed but i would never have harmed her ever!!!!! It is difficult being a parernt sometimes but you have to become a better person! If you can't then you shouldn't be allowed to have kids! I don't understand people who lose their temper with their kids (I used to be one) because it doesn't make anything better and then the kid will imitate you. My child is a very strong willed one and bullying her or arguing with her over what is fair or why she needs to do something used to eat up a ton of time and cause lots of frustration. Now we have a set consequence for undesirable behavior (she gets a sheet of sentences to write stuck on her clipboard and doesn't get to do anything else fun till all her sentences are gone even if she has built up to 8 pages and the rest of us are bowling right in front of her.) Arguing gets her more sentences, finishing quickly means she can join in the fun! We have also made a game for the kids too about being kind to others and we have a daily winner and weekly winner and it is helping with the behavior problems alot. I am finding as I am staying calmer and not justifying myself or explaining as much, her worse behaviors are going away much quicker. IT is nice!!! we are making progress people!!!! YAY
Thanks Renee.
I just wanted to stop by since I am finally going through what is now listed as under 4,600 pieces of gather new mail that is sitting in my inbox on here.
With that mentioned I just came across either a mailing from you yourself, or someone else brought this piece to my attention. You or they felt that your creation should be shared with the gather community, which I am very glad that it was passed on to me to view. So I wanted to say Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to publish it here on gather for us to all view. :o)
As well before I leave you I wanted to wish you a Happy New Year... in 2009 :o)