Men Are Just Happier People--
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can never be pregnant.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- The world is your urinal.
- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- Same work, more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- One mood all the time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- Everything on your face stays its original colour.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You only have to shave your face and neck.
- You can play with toys all your life.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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Comments: 10
I have moods; they just don't follow the moon. I often forget which way to turn a nut or bolt because I often approach them from the opposite direction. You don't want to see me pack a suitcase. I have long fingers … most jars are exceptionally difficult for me to open because they are flat out the wrong size for my hands (just a touch too small). And don't get me started on trying to get Christmas presents.
You don't have to take a shower every day because if you don't your hair starts going into an oil filled 50's style which is a decade before you were born. You don't have two timing devices next to your ears which tell you when it's time for a hair cut (my gray sideburns).
Now I'm depressed. I think I'll go use a urinal now.