Call it the fatal question. Ask it too often, or too needily in a relationship and you may eventually end up hearing the response you fear most. It’s a matter of simple psychology. Doubt your own worth, and the world will doubt it, too. Unfortunately, some people walk around with the words practically tattooed on their forehead :
“Do you love me?” they ask with every gesture, every defensive reaction, every imploring glance.
To a writer whose work has hit the cold light of the marketplace, such excessive sensitivity can also be hazardous--both to health and career. Yes, we all need to be open to constructive criticism, but we also need to know the value of our work--especially once the book is finished, and we have done our best to give our readers the deepest, truest, most compelling story we have to give.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggest critics should handle authors like tender newborns (even though we often feel that way), or that readers should recommend a book they gave up on before they reached chapter three. As I’ve said before, good critics point readers in the direction of books they’re likely to enjoy, and steer them away from the ones they won’t. With tens of thousands of books hitting the shelves every year, it’s a valuable and necessary service.
But say you’re the writer. Say your book is proudly perched at the front of the book store in its stunning new jacket. Do you really need to be told you should have given the story a happier ending, or that next time you should kill the victim off sooner?
Not really. However, if you write and publish a book, you will be told things like that--and more.
Don’t get me wrong; I’ve been amazingly lucky. The response to my novel has been overwhelmingly positive. I’ve gotten fan letters and e-mails from strangers that have left me smiling all day. They far outnumber the others. But this isn’t about those wonderful, generous souls who take the time to write to an author. This is about the quibblers. The ones who like the book, BUT--
To them, let me say, you have every right to your opinion, and I celebrate your honesty in voicing it. You bought the book, or you took it out of the library and invested your time in reading it. In some way, it’s your book now. If you think the heroine should have been a brunette instead of a redhead, or you don’t like suspense novels in the first place, or you wish the novel had been more graphic, feel free--shout it from the rooftops.
Just don’t expect me to get up there and shout back. Everything I have to say about my novel is contained between the covers of the book. These characters came to me with their stories, and I told them with all the verve and compassion and energy I had to give. That’s my answer--and the only one the writer is responsible to give.
As writers, the first thing we need to know no book ever written, whether it’s classic literature, or the novel that lingered on the New York Times bestsellers list for years has been universally loved. What’s more the flawless book, just like the flawless human being, doesn't exist.
Just a couple weeks ago, a commenter here mentioned that they hated the novel The House of Sand and Fog. I happen to have loved that book. And you know what? That’s great. Not everyone lists plain vanilla as their favorite ice-cream either, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop ordering it or that someone else isn’t going to enjoy their boysenberry ripple just as much.
In the end, whether we’re talking relationships, or the work of our minds and hearts, we neeed to cultivate an unshakable in our belief in ourselves and in our right to sing our own song--at the top of our voice.
Yes, we can change and grow; we can tweak and improve. But the next time you’re tempted to ask the world how much it loves you, remember what the answer is likely to be: “No more than you love yourself.”
I will be away on a West coast book tour for the next ten days so there will be no column next week. However, if anyone is in the area of my readings, I'd love to meet my friends from Gather. Meanwhile, I hope to bring home some great stories from the road!
My schedule:
March 10th Noon-2, Seattle Mystery Book Shop, Seattle, WA
March 14th 7-9 p.m., M is for Mystery, San Mateo, CA
March 15th 6-8 p.m, Booksmart, Morgan Hill, CA
March 17th Noon-2, The Book Cellar, Chicago, IL
Patry Francis, Books Correspondent:
Patry's column, Diary of a First Novelist, published every Thursday to Gather Essentials: Books. It will detail all she knows--and is in the process of learning--about writing and publishing.
To learn more about Patry and her debut novel, The Liar's Diary, visit her Website.
You can find all of Patry's articles, Diary of a First Novelist, at www.gather.com/patryfrancis
Keep up with Patry’s other postings and Gather activity by joining her Gather network -- just click here and select the orange “Connect” button on the left-hand side of the page
You’ll find Patry and other Book Correspondents, plus celebrity author content and plenty of other bibliophiles at Books.gather.com
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Comments: 59
bren
bren
I'm not going to be here much, so I need someone to start the dialogue...
When my memoir comes out someday, I'll make a point to remember your advice and just state "Well that's how I remember it, so that's how I wrote it."
Cheers!
I love critique. It's how I grow, but I want someone who will tell me how to improve my work, not rewrite it for me. Then they get angry if I chose not to take the advise.
quibblers--"No kidding!"
John: A good point...maybe we should take up painting? On second thought, nah, I think we're both hooked on words...
Dawn: I love the strength that comes through in your attitude!
The day I learned it, I was young and excited about my "new" house that was really an old dump with fancy oak kitchen cupboards. A woman I considered a close friend walked in for the first visit and instantly proclaimed, "I'd never have cupboards with glass in them. I'd hate people looking at what I have inside."
After I pulled the dagger from my oozing, bleeding heart, I said, thoughtfully, "You must keep sloppy cupboards." I didn't say it sharply or with attitude it was more with concern. Fifteen years later I sometimes wish I'd been snottier about it! The only reason I still think about it, is that I use it a lot to encourage those who receive put-downs.
Usually there is insecurity that drives the sharper, cutting comments. inquisitiveness and kindness lead the lips of the secure.
Come to AZ!
Soni :)
You speak a universal truth. Take a look at Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" and you will find a lot of what you are saying in there also. Lots of luck on your book tours.
Thanks for telling it straight.
Smile and nod. Smile and nod.
I once had a discussion about this by a science fiction author who is only published in print runs of maybe 10,000 copies. He told me that he was happy that he had never written a runaway bestseller. Why? Because he feared that if he ever wrote such a book, his publisher would demand that he spend the rest of his career doing re-writes of that book. Well, that's a depressing concept. Hope they let you write what you feel the need to write.
Great diary entry!
I ordered the Liar's Diary about a week or so ago, but it hasn't arrived yet! I'm hoping it will arrive before I leave for my trip to the mainland so I can take it with me!
Good luck on your tour. Too bad you won't be passing through Los Angeles. There is a great Mystery Book Store in Westwood (near UCLA) close to where I live. It would have been fun to meet you.
Are you coming to Boston any time soon? I mean, I know you live in Massachusetts, but will you be doing a tour - I hope I hope!
In my opinion, if a book makes people think about what they read and consider all the what ifs, it's a successful book. We don't necessarily need to agree with that we read. Well, unless the book directly insults us for no other reason that hatred.
While I haven't really ran into people who "talk down" on my writing, I have been talked down a few times on my writing style.
I so relate. I've worked hard to develop a thick skin re. my books. Yet, no matter how many book clubs invite me in (God, do I love that, meeting people who already love me and to whom I don't have to "sell" myself or my stuff!), no matter how many local librarians invite me to speak, no matter how many positive reviews I get... there's always that one negative comment that suddenly seems to crop up from nowhere, and man, does it sting.
It happened to me last month and it took me days to get over it. I had to keep giving myself pep talks, reminding myself of the beautiful, lyrical reviews that I cherish... and I finally realized just what you said above. You can't please everyone - you never will.
And if you grow a community of readers who love your stuff (no matter how many there are), then you've made a positive contribution to their lives. You've connected. You've impacted them with your words.
One of my first readers told me that the scenes I wrote with Gus (my protag) and his grandchildren made him realize how important it was to spend more time with his own children, to focus more on family. He'd been spending a lot of time growing his business, and my one little book, my very words, made him change his life. I was floored. Beyond floored. I was humbled and honored and validated. His comment made me realize that I had become a "success", no matter how close to the popular interpretation of that word I'd actually become.
Anyway, sorry for rambling on here. Thanks for a great article, and I hope you'll tell us all about your book tour!
Just to let you know my copy of your book arrived today! Can't wait to read it!
Well, they either liked it enough to read all the way through it or hated it so much they didn't read any of it - so that's not much to go on! Great article, Miz Patry. I wish you well on your travels and your book tourings. I hope to read your book(s) and meet you someday! Salud.
Mariana, Interesting perspective on The HOuse of Sand and Fog issue. I like your unique slant--as usual.
I really appreciate your words. While only a hobby writer, I see critique as a gift.
Making a living, or 1/4 of a living as a writer is an attractive fantasy for me. Though I only see my writing as an expression of myself. Still, your ideas and thoughts still apply to me as well.
I find peace and thoughtfulness in your writing and look forward to exploring more of it.
possessively over her bone.
As soon as I have a bit of free, or at least less tussled over, time, I will check out your book. :-) Thanks for sharing!
All to true but the one thing about the story in general and that is that all will never be pleased with the same story! Another thing is that for those that suggest changes within the story without the merits or ability to write their own story just take it with a smile and move on. I really feel that critics should at least be able to turn out the best of the best work within the field which they take up shop in or just keep it to themselves. But who am I to say such a thing about those that claim all knowing over things that a lot know very little about.
I know that I may sound a bit off when it comes to this but I look up to people that have ability and merit as you clearly do. So I do read, understand and hold your words about writing above others that clearly don't know the craft.
Thank you for the article!
DragonSoul!: Unfortunately, it's a lesson I need to re-learn on a regular basis! Thank you for your comment.