A Pert Opinion ~ A Book Review of ‘Mr. Darcy’s Daughters’ by Elizabeth Aston

Pride and Prejudice was originally published in 1813, which most of us assume is the era the story takes place (others have told me that the time period of the story was the late eighteenth century, which then makes this whole article moot L).  Mr. Darcy’s Daughters, one of the many sequels that have flooded the market in the last decade, takes place in 1818.  You do the math.  Apparently, the seven children of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy age in dog years along with being born by litter.  Why Ms. Aston situated the story thusly, I have no idea.  The oldest daughter is ‘one and twenty’ so it is safe to assume if Ms. Aston followed the logical biological growth of both literary characters and humans, the timeframe of the story should take place in the early to mid-1830’s.  Perhaps I am trifling, but it does tend to annoy.

                That is the problem with writing sequels to beloved novels that feature characters we think we know; the interest in the endeavor is great while the odds of disappointing are high.  A few years ago I read The Bar Sinister, which has been renamed (and restocked at such places as Target’s chick lit section) as Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife.  I agree the second title is much better.  One of the scant things I remember well about this novel was the assumption that the reader really did want to witness Elizabeth and Darcy in sexual congress.  Included was even a scene outside the marital bed in which the bride experiences discomfort in a carriage and needs the assistance of a well-placed pillow under her bottom because…well, you know why.  One can’t help but think of what Miss Austen would make of it all.  May I remind, Austen published her works anonymously.  The thought of her most dear character ‘getting it on’ on written page would have probably sent her to an earlier grave.

                Mr. Darcy’s Daughters is not as sexually graphic as the example above, but does take poetic license regarding the mores (or morays as I like to call them) of well-established characters.  First, the ‘Mr. Darcy’ of the title is in Constantinople with his fine-eyed wife.  Yup, no clever banter from either of them – they have been banished to a city balanced on the Black Sea ever so far, far away from London during the Regency.  This allows their five daughters (yes, five daughters – if you were hoping for something more original allow me to add there is no Santa, Virginia) to run wild in London society.  Of course, the second daughter is not as pretty as her eldest sister but does possess wit and tends to be the pet of the absent Mr. Darcy (by the way Virginia, don’t sit on a strange Santa’s lap). 

      Allow me to quibble about the illogic of sending the elder Darcys away on a ‘diplomatic mission.’  Wasn’t this, actually working I mean, as a diplomat no less, the providence of second sons in the early eighteenth century?  If we are to believe that Pemberley is a beloved and prosperous piece of real estate; does that not infer that someone with a vested interest in its success is actually lording over it?  Oh, I digress.

      The Darcy’s are away and their daughters are acting like college nymphs on Spring Break.

      Luckily, they are under the care of Col. Fitzwilliam (now a bit a buffoon who dabbles in politics) and his much younger, but more mentally astute, wife Fanny.  The Darcy girls are also under the watchful eye of Mr. and Mrs. Gardner (a couple who miraculously never age and have a daughter the same age as her Darcy cousins).  Lest I fail to note, there is no mention in the book (and boy was I looking for it) of Mrs. Bennet.  However, Mr. Bennet is safely tucked away at Pemberley overseeing the education of the two young Darcy males thus we are assured that there will be no estate entailing in this tome.  Each of the girls carries a dowry sum of 50,000 pounds. 

      This puts me in mind why modern readers want to read sequels to a book published close to two centuries ago.  It is a given that we love P and P.  Rare was it for any woman to publish a book in the early 1800’s, let alone from a keen eye about the intricate social whirl of which women than treaded like soldiers through a minefield.  Austen wasn’t heavy on descriptions of things male, she delighted in telling us the make of dresses, the ‘colour’ of rooms, and the feeling for a most loved sisters believed betrayed.  Although her novels were not written as serious pieces of literature at the time, they speak (no they SHOUT) volumes about what it meant to be a woman of her time.  Personally, I would pit one Austen novel against the collective works of Shakespeare in describing the essence of what it is to be born in a world not of your making.

      Once again, I digress.  Through film and novel many of us have come to love Elizabeth and her kin.  We want to know what happened after the wedding cake was cut.  This I believe was the greatest sin this book committed.  Most of the characters we want included in a sequel are absent.  There are two more books in the series, The Exploits and Adventures of Miss Alethea Darcy and The True Darcy Spirit, so perhaps Ms. Aston plans to delight us with her interpretation of what happened to Mr. and Mrs. Collins, Mr. and Mrs. Bingley, and even dear neglected Mary Bennet.  Ms. Aston does clue us in that Kitty Bennet has gotten fat, (but wasn’t that something we all expected?). 

      As far as recommending the book as a quick read, I suppose it all depends on your feelings about Pride and Prejudice.  Without the reliance of the original work, Mr. Darcy’s Daughters could not stand on its own.  The plot is too weak and characteristics assigned to one character bleed into another, and there is no strong sisterly relationship.  Even Lydia left me droopy eyed.  At one point I was hoping that Becky Sharp from Vanity Fair would appear and bitch slap all of the Darcy girls out of dullness.

      In conclusion, the most amusing bit I found about the book was how it made my mind wander into fields of complete utter silliness.  I became fixated on Edward G. Robinson’s character from The Ten Commandments where he says, “Where’s your God now Moses?”  Many a comedian has done a similar rift, but I added a twist.  Edward G. Robinson’s gangster growl bellowing, “Where are your fine eyes now, Miss Bennet?  What about those pert opinions?”  Indeed, in Mr. Darcy’s Daughter not only are fine eyes and pert opinions absent, they are sorely missed.

© 2006 Westerfield 

This review was the first one I ever wrote and posted on the Internet.  I was trying to ape the style of Jane Austen in being proper and such.  If you notice, italicize the names of book, whereas now I put the one set of ‘quotation marks’.  I suppose if ever I’m tasked with fancy writing I will go back to the italics, but I prefer saving the italics for my snide comments instead of titles.  If you have read me throughout my Internet writing career, you know I love myself a heaping helping of sarcastic comments – really ‘Obama Sucks’ were you people even awake for the eight years prior to his installment as President? 

Getting back to the review proper, I remember writing this because I thought it was a funny piece.  Once I grabbed on to the Edward G. Robinson’s “Where are your fine eyes now?” bit I felt satisfied that my first foray into literary criticism was unique.  Reading it again I find that I don’t cringe which I always take as a good sign when reviewing older writing.  I was also gratified to learn while reading ‘Being Jane Austen’ that she tried to make her books appear current even if she had written them originally years before which always made me feel good in reference to this review because someone corrected me and now I feel vindicated in my earlier criticism.  Thanks guy who wrote ‘Being Jane Austen’ whose name I can’t be bothered to look up.  You see, it just works better for my acerbic comments.

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