Joan Anderson, author of The Second Journey, kicks off Borders' Writing Workshops in Boston

Joan Anderson, author of The Second Journey: The Road Back to Yourself, kicked off Borders' writing workshops last Thursday, May 8^th, at Borders' Boston's flagship store on School Street in downtown Boston. 

The workshop was hosted by Mel Robbins, who interviewed Joan (with Borders filming the event for the Borders website that will be broadcast via the Shortlist later this month) and who then moderated a discussion with Joan that featured pre-selected readers and an editor from More Magazine, the magazine that celebrates women 40 and over.

Joan wrapped up the evening signing copies of her book for readers in the audience.

Joan Anderson signing copies of her book, The Second Journey, at Borders on School Street in Boston, Mass., May 8th, 2008.

Joan talked about her own successes and failures and her own 'second journey' as a lead in to the discussion. Joan's first book, A Year by the Sea, was rejected 37 times and rewritten 10 times but is now a bestseller in 17 countries.

Joan began writing features for newspapers and women's magazines, then penned more than 20 books of photo essays for children, and has written two non-fiction books: Breaking the TV Habit and Getting Unplugged.

She has written previous four best-selling memoirs – A Year by the Sea,  A Walk by the Sea, A Walk on the Beach, A Weekend to Change Your Life and now -- her latest memoir -- The Second Journey: The Road Back to Yourself.

Joan's website: joanandersononline.com

On her website, Joan talks about her experience living on her own for a year -- after she 'ran away from home' -- in which she enabled herself to find her own strength and inner voice apart from the craziness of fullfilling the needs of others, as part of the journey that was her first book, A Year by the Sea.

 Joan Anderson, author of The Second Journey: The Road Back to Yourself.

What is this 'second journey?' Is this 'second journey' about the middle aged woman? Yes and no. It is not necessarily about 'middle aged women,' but it is often women in 'middle age' who've spent years nourishing others -- and whose personal dreams have gone unfulfilled in the processes of helping others to fulfill their own dreams.

We women, Joan says, are "carriers of culture – we begin a life dominated by a male plan -- a life that is achievement driven, a life of 'do, do, do' – go to college, get married, have children, have a career."

The problem is that this life plan emphasizes nourishing others often at the expense of ourselves.

We, as women, know this is so very, very true but we often feel powerless to stop this plan or how to go about our own 'second journey.'

"If we don't nourish ourselves, we are nothing," Joan told the audience.

"Our second journey can be when the kids are grown, it can happen after a divorce, it can begin when he dumps you.  It is not necessarily about middle age."

Noting that we all have various 'journeys' in life – all our journeys -– those of both men and women -- often begin with a journey dominated by the desire to achieve certain milestones, but it is our second journey -- the journey in which we step aside (at least emotionally and spiritually) from our daily tasks and roles as caregivers that we begin our second journey – the journey in which we nourish ourselves.

"We spend so much time nourishing others that we don't nourish ourselves," Joan told the audience. "It is as caregivers that we find our roles for others but we need to spend time to nurture ourselves."

It is then that we begin our 'second journey.'

We need not be afraid that middle age is a time of slowing down, of being 'less than' what we were before 'middle age.' It can be a time of becoming 'more than' rather than 'less than.'

Ask yourself whether you view your 'glass' as 'half empty or half full'.

Hopefully, you view your glass as 'half full.' or more than 'half full.'

 From Joan's book:

"The call to a second journey usually commences when unexpected change is thrust upon you, causing a crisis of feelings so great that you are stopped in your tracks. Personal events such as a betrayal, a diagnosis of serious illness, the death of a loved one, loss of self-esteem, a fall from power are only a few of the catalysts. A woman caught thusly has no choice but to pause, isolate, even relocate until she can reevalutate the direction in which she should head. Should she stay the course or choose another path? The goal is to come of age in the middle of life rather than live out our days lacking purpose and energy. It's all about rearranging our lives in our own image."

 From The Second Journey

This issue speaks very deeply to me -- as a woman, mother, wife, career woman –- I spent my two children's youngest years in very close proximity to them –- watching their first steps and driving my children everywhere, being everywhere with them -- while also patching together a part-time career, but being with my children became so much my personal goal it nearly suffocated my self, often leaving me to feel 'like a used dishrag'. 

I knew I needed to reclaim my dreams for myself.

So my going to Borders Thursday night to see Joan comes at a most synchronistic time for me as I walk my own 'second journey', my own time of reclaiming my dreams.

For Joan herself, the path to her own self fulfillment is fascinating. Joan's mentor was Joan Erikson, wife of psychoanalyst Erik Erikson who coined the phrase 'identity crisis.'

Anderson noted that  late Joan and Erik Erikson were not famous until they were in their 60s; Joan Erikson herself continued writing for 30 years after she became well known – well into her 90s.

If a workshop is not held near you, these are Joan's articles and mini workshops on Gather, posted in the group Getting Better All The Time.

(voice.gather.com)

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Joan's articles and mini-workshops on Gather:

You Don't Get A Gold Watch For Menopause
A Crossroads in Life
Fleshing It Out-To Thine Own Body Be True
Proceed with Caution
How's your life? When's the last time you evaluated it?
Become a Rebel with a Cause - Step Out of Line
How Many Stripes Have You Earned? Exercise II
The Person You Can Disappoint

The Second Journey is the currently featured book in the Getting Better All The Time group. Written by Joan Anderson, it's a story about finding yourself and what's important in your life.

To join the group and stay on top of all of the new articles and excerpts, click here.

Click here to buy the book.

Meet Joan Anderson in person.

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Joan Anderson's Borders' Writing Workshops schedule: