Just Be

The nearly waist high grass tickles her bare legs as she wades through it.  Lost in thought.   The wind is blowing her hair in her face, but seems just a minor nuisance.  She mindlessly takes an auburn strand and puts it behind her ear.  It seems to glow in the fading sun with highlights of golden, glimmering and dancing as the wind moves it about.  The hill is high and her legs are burning, and she continues without rest, because that burn makes her remember she is alive.  That ache lessens the one of deep loss that shakes her soul.  She finally reaches the top and the beauty of the ocean reveals itself to her.  She finds just the right rock which seemed meant for this very moment and plants herself before the sea. 

A breath escapes her lips, and surprises her.  She is suddenly conscience of her breath, as it slows and calms and she begins to feel.  The wind tussles her hair and she gives up and lets it fly in her eyes and revels in the feeling.  The ocean is turbulent in the wind and the white caps pop up and down dancing and reacting to stimuli, and she knows just how that feels.  She's mesmerized by the hypnotic dance of the waves and the crescendo as it crashes against the rocks blowing a fine mist over her skin.  The warm sun warms her skin and without it she would be chilled having left her sweater behind in her haste to escape. 

The pain and the confusion begin to creep into  her thoughts, and well up in her chest.   She asks God why?  How could this happen?  She forgets to breathe until a bird flies by using the wind to its advantage, and that tightness begins to melt.  Breathing is back to normal and she just feels the wind, the mist, the sun and the visual display of God's beauty.  All those thoughts and terrors subside so she can just be.  Just a woman on the rock, part of the scenery, connected. 

There seemed to be no time, but she knows she watched the sun set.  The colors warming the sky as it inched below the surface.  A warm hand touched her shoulder. She vaguely feels her forgotten sweater draped over her. 

The warm hand spoke, "You must be freezing, honey." 

She couldn't form the words to respond, "I didn't notice", but she turns to him and suddenly she remembers, as a tear runs down her cheek. 

He pulls her close, and wraps his warm, strong arm around her.  He kisses her forehead, as he puts a strand of that auburn hair behind  her ear. 

 He whispers in her ear, "I love you", and finally she is able to let go. 

He holds her more tightly, as the tears rack through her body, shaking.  Continuing to whisper his love to her until that last sob has escaped and the stars fill the sky.  She feels lifeless, empty and exhausted. 

She forms the words, that she couldn't say before,  "I don't want to be alone tonight."

"I will be right here with you.  I'm not going anywhere." he assures, as he leads her down the hill home.