Started writing for Script Frenzy - this is scene two! I'm at 2,631 words out fo 20,000 needed by the end of the month. First scene if you missed it is posted here.
THREE WEEKS LATER...
FADE IN:
INT. IVY'S BEDROOM. A GIRLY TYPE ROOM, WITH A STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE BEDROOM SET - TOO YOUNG FOR HER, BUT STILL FILLED WITH DOLLS AND STUFFED ANIMALS. THERE ARE POSTERS ON THE WALL OF THE MONKEES, A RECORD PLAYER AND MANY RECORDS - MOSTLY OF THE MONKEES AND OTHER SIXTIES BANDS.
IVY is by the record player, putting in a record. SAM is lying on IVY's bed, writing in a notebook. The notebook is full of dialogue text.
SAM:
I think it's too soon for them to get together.
IVY looks up from the record player. Monkees music starts play.
IVY:
What do you mean? They've known each other for pages now.
IVY heads over to peer over Sam's shoulder at the notebook. She checks out what he's written.
SAM: I just think she needs more time. That's all. She's just getting over her thing with Roger, so she needs some space before she jumps into a relationship with Blake.
IVY:
True love doesn't need time.
SAM:
(scoffs) I don't believe in it.
IVY picks up the pen, and shoves SAM over on the bed. She writes a few lines, and smiles.
SAM:
(reads) 'Blake- you know I'm still get over my affair with Roger. You know how badly that ended. Yet I find myself drawn to you...' . Hey, not bad. We can go with that.
IVY:
(smiles) I rule.
SAM chews the end of the pen thoughtfully as he thinks of what else to write.
IVY:
Ew, you're doing it again. Get that out of your mouth!
SAM:
(Muffled by pen) Make me.
IVY:
Don't tempt me! I will.
SAM:
(mock fighting fists, pen still in mouth) Bring it on!
IVY sits on him, trying to get the pen from his mouth. SAM laughs, and they wrestle around for a while until they are interrupted by a shout from MR. MAXWELL.
MR. MAXWELL (Offscreen):
IVY! Come here.
IVY cringes, gets up off Sam, and looks stricken, like she's about to be yelled at for something. SAM watches, frowning, wondering what her father is yelling for now.
IVY opens the door to her room, and her frown turns into a smile.
MR. MAXWELL has just let SUMMER in the front door, which is visible from the room. MR. MAXWELL is a conservative looking man in his forties, with a fairly serious expression.
MR. MAXWELL can be seen settling back into his armchair with the remote.
SUMMER:
Thought I'd drop in and see what you losers are up to on a Saturday afternoon.
SAM scowls, and closes the notebook, protectively slipping it under a pillow. This is his and IVY's writing project, and he doesn't want SUMMER to get involved.
IVY:
I'm glad you stopped in! Sam, look who's here.
SAM:
Hey. (less than thrilled)
SUMMER:
Hey yourself!
SUMMER walks over to the record player, and picks up the jacket of the record to see what's playing. She smirks a bit, then gives the thumbs up.
SUMMER:
Hey hey, it's the Monkees. Nice. Their show's pretty funny. Better than watching baseball, anyhow.
IVY:
(proudly) These are original records. From the sixties.
SUMMER:
Neat! Where'd you get those? Rob a record store?
SAM: (snorts)
No. They're her mother's.
SUMMER:
Oh! (laughs) She rob a record store?
IVY grows quiet, and busies herself with straightening the records. SAM looks irritated, and glares at SUMMER for being so insensitive, unintentional though it may be.
SAM:
She died.
SUMMER:
For real? (incredulous). I'm sorry.
IVY:
It's okay. It was a long time ago. When I was little.
SUMMER:
(fascinated now) How'd she die? Was it cancer? My grandpa died of that, 'couple of years ago. His stomach swelled up like he was knocked up.
IVY:
... pills.
SUMMER:
Pills?
IVY:
And whiskey.
SUMMER:
No shit! She offed herself? Why?
IVY:
(sadly) I guess she was unhappy. I don't know. No one really knows.
SUMMER:
Did she leave a note?
IVY:
No.
SUMMER:
Hell, if I ever off myself, I'm leaving a book. And it's going to list ever bastard that ever did me wrong and all the reasons I'm quitting this miserable cruel world.
That's what I'd do. And I'd give it a catchy title like, "EFF YOU WORLD".
IVY:
That's a catchy title?
SAM:
(who has been glaring resentfully all this time) This is morbid. Can we talk about something else?
IVY:
(overly cheerful) The Monkees are going on tour!
SUMMER:
They can still tour? Aren't they like.. eighty now?
IVY:
They were young in the sixties. They're only in their forties now.
SAM:
Do you think they'll come close enough that we can see them?
SUMMER:
(on a tangent now) I mean, my mom's younger than that, and she's still old! I can't imagine her touring. Where do they find the energy? For that matter, are they even still cool?
IVY:
Of course they're still cool! Look, see this poster?
IVY points to a poster of Davy, Mickey, and Peter in modern times.
IVY:
They're still pretty cute, even.
IVY kisses her hand, then presses it to the paper Davy's cheek.
SAM:
(shrugs) They're still cool.
IVY:
If they come close enough, we should definitely go. All of us together!
SUMMER has drifted over to the record player. She isn't listening to IVY. The song that's on catches her attention, and she's heard it before on the show most likely as she starts to sing along with it.
SUMMER: (Singing)
I want to be free... like the bluebirds flying by me, like the waves out on the blue sea.
Even SAM is impressed into silence by her voice. She's a natural singer. IVY is positively enthralled.
SUMMER sings a few more lines, then notices them watching
her and smiles.
SUMMER:
I like this song.
SAM:
You're a good singer. (somewhat grudgingly)
IVY:
It's beautiful! You should be a singer when you grow up.
SUMMER:
Maybe. But why worry about then?
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Comments: 10
Anyway, this is a nice piece but if you want to get it accepted by agent you need to follow the a very specific form required for scripts.
As this is, it's really a short story without quotations.
Any action lines need to be separated and it's usually frowned upon to tell an actor how to read a line. Telling a director how to block the scene is usually a script killer as well, as far as most Hollywood agents are concerned.
There are several good books on the subject.
Look for my movie THE PARCHENE CONSPIRACY on the independent film channel in the fall.
Best of luck.
Wayne D. D.
This is my first attempt at writing a screenplay (as yes, you guessed it- I'm usually a writer of short stories and other fiction ;) )
What do you mean about the blocking? That's the only part of what you said that I don't entirely understand.
Thanks for the advice!
--L
I got a lot of resistance to it until I explained in depth that it was necessary to physically/visually stress the animal to expose the mental state of the actor. Even so the actor pretty much hated me after that.
Please don't get the idea I'm a successful writer. I have never been able to find an agent who didn't charge me for his influence. It cost me almost $2,000 to get the script to Kate Winslet's agent and after all that they turned it down. It would have made a great movie -- in my opinion.
Hogan also passed on my script and I had to sell my soul to an agent to get it delivered in person. I've lost most of my rights to the script even though nothing came of my attempt.
I even got a script to Dakota Fanning. When they found out it wasn't funded they threw in away. ( funded: about 5 million set aside to make the movie.)
I made my movie for about $10,000 and a whole lot of promises. I had to direct, edit, light, do sound, costume, special effects, etc. as I couldn't afford to pay anyone else. The unknown actors needed "face time" and "screen credit" otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do anything.
I have a degree in theater -- that's my only real credential unless you count being in the trenches and getting the %#% kicked out of me.
It's a tough business.
the bbc.co.uk has free scriptwriting software and for a long time they had online tutorials and workshops for serious scriptwriters, but you have to sweat for them.