The Feisty Mrs W

Traveling around the country for our work, we meet a lot of interesting people. They come in all different shapes and sizes, and from all kinds of different backgrounds and beliefs. Some are dirt poor, some are the wealthiest of the wealthy. All of them have touched our lives in some way or another, which is what I would like to begin to share in a series of posts. The first being the story of the Feisty Mrs. W

At age 78, the feisty Mrs. W has her hands full. We first met her in response to an ad we had put in the paper a couple of months ago.

Since we had traveled around the country for construction, and since new home construction is on a downhill slide at present, we didn’t get much time in at our present location before the crunch came. After working a short time for a construction company, and then being laid off, our unemployment funds had run out in May, and no one in this field was hiring. We had decided to go back into self-employment mode. We were down to our last couple hundred dollars, and rent was about to come due, so Hubby put an ad in the paper for remodeling work. We got one call, and one call only, from Mrs. W.

As the conversation unraveled, she began to share with me some things about her personal life, later telling me that she didn’t even know why she told me these things when she didn’t even know me. Her husband had been a career military man working on top secret projects for the government, which made for very interesting conversation all by itself. After having retired, was given a lethal dose of insulin. He didn’t die from it, but the resulting medical condition rocked their world. Mr. W can no longer take care of himself, and depends solely on his wife for his wellbeing.

They also have a 44 year old son with a severe case of Downs Syndrome, not being able to talk or walk, feed or even dress himself. Mrs. W also has to puree his food so that he won‘t choke. Caring for her family is a full time job, and dealing with medical world is an ongoing nightmare.

Thinking about her age, and knowing very well that she had her hands full, I asked her if she had any help in caring for the men in her life. She said they had therapists who came in a couple of times a week. I later learned that these visits were no more than 15-20 minute bathing sessions. Other than that, the caretaking was all on the 78 year old Mrs. W.

She spoke to me at length about how cruel people have treated her throughout her life because of her son’s condition. Mrs. W never let it get her down, though, instead she quite often returned their glares with feisty statements like, “I hope you never get in a serious accident, I could end up being your nurse.” This wasn’t exactly a lie, for Mrs. W had been a student nurse before her son was born, at which time she had to give up her career in order to care for him personally.

Also, during this conversation she spoke about her neighbor who had threatened to shoot her, and her dog, with his bow and arrows because he didn’t like her dog. The neighbor, who had been sitting on his porch stewing, kept throwing raw eggs at the dog sitting on Mrs. W’s porch, which made a horrific mess for her to clean up, on top of all that was already on her plate. Apparently, the feisty Mrs. W had given him a piece of her mind, as she boldly warned him that if it continued she would call the police. That’s when the threat came, as the warning did not deter the neighbor at all. His shenanigans did continue and she kept her word. And it was the Sherriff’s Dept that finally put an end to the episode.

As we talked that first day on the telephone, I could not refrain from giggling at some of the spirited phrases she used to express herself in her own defense, which cannot be repeated in this forum, but which I found very innocent on her part. She later told me that was the thing she liked most about me, that I wasn’t offended by her in any way.

After our lengthy conversation, which was a blessing for both of us, Mrs. W hired Hubby to do some remodeling at her home. As Hubby worked on this small remodel job, and Mrs. W went through her daily caretaking routine, more of her life unraveled in the stories she shared with him. She shared her fears of what was to come, saying there were things being kept secret by the government. She spoke of a government plan to exterminate a good portion of the U.S. population, mainly referring to people over age 50 along with the disabled.

It became apparent that she was a Christian who spent a great deal of time listening to conservative talk radio and watching conservative news channels, which blared loudly in the background as Hubby worked inside her home. This led to discussions between Hubby and Mrs. W, who see religious and political issues quite differently, and yet both have a compassionate love for human life. It began to open the door for some deeply spiritual conversations between Mrs. W and Hubby. Attempting to relieve her fears, he shared with her the truth behind what Jesus really taught, which he assured her was never fear-based at all.

It also became apparent that she didn’t get out much, so Hubby offered to drive her and her family on occasional errands. On two occasions he stopped working long enough to pick up medicine and a few needed groceries for them. She had a secret worry about being able to get out in the wintertime to get medicine and groceries, so Hubby also offered reassurance by volunteering to take care of those errands when winter comes back around.

When the remodel job was finished Mrs. W asked Hubby to have a look at the roof of a rental property she owned. She told us that a man in her church family had gone to look at it and given her an outrageous bid, which she simply could not afford. We took the two hour drive to her other property, measured the roof, and came back home. We learned that the bid we had given her was thousands of dollars less than the previous bid given by the man in her church family.

The next day, Mrs. W told us the renters had called the other man to warn him that we had been there. This man, a part of her church family, called her up and cussed her out, telling her she had no right to get other bids on the roof. To top that off, the insurance company had called her with a change of heart and was now refusing to reroof the entire house, saying it only needed patching. In reality, the entire roof needs to be redone in 30 year architectural shingles because Montana suppliers no longer even stock the thin 3-tab shingles due to severe weather conditions here.

This is one of those things that makes you scratch your head in wonder. Taking advantage of the elderly and disabled, while you spew the fear-mongering of their extermination is nothing less than a disgrace…. Disgrace being the opposite of grace.

In light of the current state of our union concerning healthcare and insurance companies, this whole episode with Mrs. W has helped us to better understand the struggle. Until now, we didn’t really have any personal stories to lighten the path for us. Now we do. This is personal. Our small part is to set the record straight. And so it is that we have shared the truth with Mrs. W and relieved her fears. There is no extermination plan by our current administration, and yes, the insurance companies are all trying to get deeper into our pocketbooks. We warned her that if she wanted to regain peace of mind, the right wing politics she was listening to should be turned off because they were brainwashing her into a fear-based mode.

Mrs. W has asked Hubby to accompany the insurance man to the property to explain the situation, and also asked if we could drive her and her family up to see it one day next week. We have happily agreed to help this family, knowing that this is most likely the reason we were brought together, but also believing that whatever we do for them is worth more to us than any amount of money. The experience itself has been so much more enlightening and refreshing than any work we could possibly do for a living.

In the end, we’ve become great friends with Mrs. W and her family. We look forward to the visits as much as they do. Mrs. W confessed to us that visitors rarely interact with her son playfully the way we do. She confessed she was sleeping better, and that both her son and her husband seemed to be in better spirits, since meeting us. She also confirmed Hubby on a spiritual level, saying that she’d never met someone younger than her that knew more, spiritually, and has asked him to teach her more. We’ve connected in a way that is beyond acquaintances, and more like family, which is what we all actually really are.

The Spirit of Love only takes a moment of interaction to come into being. This is the power within each and every human being that matters in the long haul of the journey of life. The Spirit of Love within us is the only thing that can truly create and enhance happiness for all involved.

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