My Life Flashed Before My Eyes

My life flashed before my very eyes as I was reading this new book I got over the past weekend. Here is an excerpt:

"There are many accounts of people who experienced that emerging new dimension of consciousness as a result of tragic loss at some point in their lives. Some lost all of their possessions, others their children or spouse, their social position, reputation, or physical abilities. In some cases through disaster or war, they lost all of these simultaneously and found themselves with nothing.

(Story of my life ~ we lost everything)

Whatever they had identified with, whatever gave them their sense of self had been taken away. Then suddenly and inexplicably, the anguish or intense fear they initially felt gave way to a sacred sense of Presence, a deep peace and serenity and complete freedom from fear.

This phenomenon must have been familiar to St Paul, who used the expression, "the peace of God which passeth all understanding" It is indeed a peace that doesn't seem to make sense, and the people who experienced it asked themselves: how can this be, in the face of all this, that I feel such peace? (Yes, I did ask)

The answer is simple, once you realize what the ego is and how it works. When everything collapses, the ego also collapses, since it was totally identified with form. When there is nothing to identify with....who are you?

When the forms around you fall away, your sense of Beingness, of "I AM" is freed from its entanglement with form. Spirit is released from the imprisonment of matter. You realize your true identity as consciousness itself, rather than what your consciousness had been identified with. That's the peace of God. The ultimate truth of who you are...... spirit.

Not everyone who experiences great loss also experiences this awakening to spirit. Some immediately create a strong mental image or thought form in which they see themselves as victims. This thought form, and the emotions it creates, identify with anger, resentment, and self-pity. The ego has found a new home out of what had been swept clean. This new form is deeply unhappy, but that doesn't seem to concern the ego too much as long as it has an identity, good or bad. (This was Hubby)

Whenever tragic loss occurs, you either resist or yield, become bitter and angry or compassionate and wise. (This became the relationship between Hubby and I)

Yielding means inner acceptance of what is. You are open to life.

Resistance is an inner contracting, a hardening of the shell of the ego. You are closed. "

End excerpt.

After losing several family members, our business, our home, our personal possessions, our farm, our social status and sense of community, neither of us would be the same as we once were. I recovered rather quickly, Hubby did not. By yielding to the spirit within, I quickly realized that it was necessary for me to abandon any notion of what my life had been in order that Hubby might one day come to healing.

He'd lost three brothers, a daughter, his parents, and everything he'd worked for over the past thirty years. Of course he was angry. I just couldn't believe I felt so peaceful, like the weight of the world had been removed. The stress was gone, and we were free to travel just like we had planned to do after retirement. I came close to this almost guilty feeling because I felt so good, but he felt so rotten. The spirit within understood from a viewpoint of compassion, and I was released from the guilt that might have overtaken me.

From that day on, I knew my purpose in life had changed. I had to abandon my grown children, who blamed Hubby for something he had no control over. They hadn't understood the fact that all things happen for a reason. They had no idea what the journey was all about, or the recovery process Hubby would need to go through, and indeed is still going through. All they saw was that he was an angry man. I saw the broken spirit, and knew he did need their rejection. His own children had already done that to him, and he didn't need mine to chime in. So we walked away.

As I was reading this passage in the book, it was as though I had this great awakening long ago, but didn't really realize the totality of it until now. It was as though I received bits and pieces of truth along the way, that were now being put together like a climax. One line in particular seemed to slap me in the face: "When there is nothing to identify with....who are you?"

I can be anyone, right now I am a healer. But first and foremost I am a spirit of the Most High God, and have chosen the compassionate route, laying my own life down for my friend.

If you feel you are suffering, I highly recommend this book. The book is "A New Earth" and the author is Eckhart Tolle.

Note: the excerpts shown here aren't word for word, and may contain slight errors.