Bottom Half Only Moon

IN 2005, IN THE MIDST OF OUR GREATEST TRAGEDY, WE RENEWED OUR VOWS

© David Wainland 2005

            It is after midnight and I am taking my Greyhound for a walk. This is the best time to think and review the day. Venus, as usual, is the brightest star in the clear sky and on its way to a rare alignment with Jupiter. "A Bottom Half Only Moon" has reached its apex throwing just enough light to find my way through he empty streets. The only sounds are the gentle noises of the dark and the pliff-pluff of my dog's paws as she passes through grass swales and the clickety-click of her nails on the rows of asphalt driveways.

This is a special night for me because I have just renewed my vows with my wife of forty years. We sipped wine, ate with gusto and danced 'till the music was over. About a hundred of our friends and family partied and feasted with us, celebrating the occasion with more enthusiasm then I remembered of the first time.

My two granddaughters, only six months apart the oldest only two, were dressed like twins, though simply cousins and they danced along with the adults never quitting or complaining through the long evening.

            I have had a life of tragedies and triumphs, no different then most I suppose, although the loss of my son brought me to my knees. There were times my wife and I thought we could not survive and yet here we were dancing, singing and embracing life once again. How did we pass through that awful time? Well, certainly not without friends, family, a huge support group, doctors, psychologists, medication, my wife's overwhelming belief in God and my wonder at what the next day would bring.

            For a year and a half, we have moved forward one-step at a time, left foot, right foot, sometimes backwards but most often towards the future.  Our daughter, her family, our daughter in law and our son's baby girl pulling us and giving us the reasons we needed to face the mornings and the solitude of the night.

My first story about the death of my son was It's not what happens, it's what you do about it that counts, that is no less true today then it was during that terrible drive home in July of 2003.

I recently read a quote by Mother Teresa and even though we are Jewish, it says everything there is to say.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle; I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

            It is amazing how much you can see by the light of a Bottom Half Only Moon.