I'm broken, wounded, an scared

I share your fears, but I trust in God. He knows what happens next and that provides some comfort. But even though he does not answer right away it does not mean that he is not listening. Do not let doubt bring you down but continue to read the Bible and pray and continue about your work. Remember an idle mind is the devil's playground and he will prey on your fears and doubts. Be confident in who you are and what you believe.

I don't understand all this fear in Christians.

The other night, on 20/20, I heard a cloistered Nun say brightly, "I just can't wait to die and be with Jesus." She was happy at the thought, not scared. I thought that was very positive.

Seems to me the only fear a Christian might have would be that he/she would be a disappointment to Jesus. But then, isn't that what prayer is for?

Leslie, I suggest that you start reading the Book of Psalms in the Bible. It was a real source of encouragement for me when I felt like dirt. My favorites: Psalm, 1, Psalm 23, Psalm 34 and Psalm 91. A good source of Scriptures and additional resources is www.biblegateway.com.

You may also want to read books by Joyce Meyer. I think a good one for you to start with is Beauty for Ashes.

Leslie...don't be so pessimistic...

I'll be your Revelation...

You just have to share love and affection...

Don't be scared by the coming... it is just that we have to be taken away from things so very wordly...

And it will but teach us to consider the things of beauty...
Found deep within our basic human nature...

Things that can bend metals... or things that can make rivers... crystal...
Or things the collides the worlds at one.... Or things that can shaken evils...

Or things that build the world with love, faith, health and honesty...
The things that can make the world go round...

I am so sorry you are afraid and alone. I don't know what happened in your life to make you feel this way. You say you are coming from an Athiest faith to a Christian faith. I am in no way a minister or connected that way. But I want to tell you what has helped me throughout my life. I am a very senior citizen and have been through a lot of very trying times. I simply say to Jesus, I place myself in your hands. Help me. Guide me, watch over me and love me. And then I let myself be at peace. This is not to say you should not read all the bible you can, for I have done that in my youth. But if you give yourself to Jesus, he wil accept you and you will feel comfort in just knowing that. Then let things happen, be guided and forgive whatever you may feel you have done to be in the place you are. Forgive yourself, love yourself. I don't know how to say this any differently. I know it works. Peace be with you and God Bless you. He will. If you want to contact me personally, just click on my name and I will correspond with you. I will be your friend. I think you need that very much right now as many as you can get.

I would echo Latasha's words about reading the Psalms. You will find great comfort there for your infant faith. Don't try to do to much to fast. Rest in God. The path toward peace will be made plain, but it doesn't come in a day. And perhaps most importantly, seek the comfort, solace, advice and companionship of your friends and family, people you respect, with like-minded faith, and don't isolate yourself. Take care and rest. Good things come to those who wait.

Leslie, even Jesus had his dark night of the soul where he doubted and was tempted. All Christians, if they admit it have gone through this doubt and questioning. God does not expect perfection. He expects us to make the effort--to be willing. I am an ordained minister. I went to seminary. Even yet, I had a time of challenge that shook my faith and called me to question God. I, too, was scared.

Spend time in prayer and allow God to comfort you and uplift you. Be gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself and know that God loves you--God IS love.

I highly recommend a book called "Discover the Power Within You." Oprah said that it changed her life. It also changed mine. It is written by Rev. Eric Butterworth.

And by the way, it's okay to feel the way you feel. This too, shall pass. You are courageou to admit that you are in a dark place now. It is when we have reached just such a point that we are surrendered and willing to be led. Listen to the presence of God, the Christ within you. That is your strength and your guidance.

P.S. Leslie, please don't see yourself as "broken". You are merely going through a challenging time--like most of us have gone through. You don't need to be "fixed" you just need to work through your fears and be willing to be healed. We all have our wounds--most are not visible. It is part of being human.

Leslie - I believe that we all felt the same way that you do at one point in time. It is a wonderful step that you have taken. Know that God is always with you and He will be there by your side to help guide you through your suffering.

If I may make a suggestion, I would find a good church. It may take going and visiting a few to really find the "one" for you. I learn so much from my Pastor's teaching's from the Bible. Reach out to the Christians in your community so that you are not physically alone. I know that we here on Gather are always willing to listen and help you out as much as we possibly can.

Pray to God, He is listening to you. Listen for Him as well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Remember that God loves YOU! When we invite God into our lives we are never alone.

Welcome to a new adventure! New things can be exciting and new things can be scary. When the new thing changes you as much as this... well scary can take over. Think about what it is that's scaring you... my guess is that the scary part is change. If you recognize that... fear may become excitement again... and this can be a very exciting experience.

Some food for thought. Back in the early 1900's huge strides were made in being able to surgically cure some forms of blindness. Patients who were cured often were overwhelmed by the experience and would wander around for months with their eyes closed pretending to be blind because they couldn't cope with the way their lives were changed. Things they had "seen" with their hands for years looked so different than what they expected. Their self images were some of the most difficult things to cope with. However, once they took the time to adjust, they did indeed love having sight. They didn't take for granted the little things, like the vibrant, beautiful yellow... of a dandelion. I think faith is much the same.

There's an adjustment period as your view of the world around you completely shifts. At first, you are struck with how wrong the world is. Later you grow to see beauty in some of the weirdest places... how God can take something so wrong and ugly and transform it into something perfect and beautiful.

I know others reccomended Psalms, and those are great... but I'm going to suggest starting in Acts 9. It's the story of Saul this guy who likes to kill Christians meeting God and becoming Paul, one of the apostles and head guys of the church. It's a guy in the Bible who goes through a similar kind of thing to what you're experiencing it now... but his fear becomes excitement quite quickly. We're not all Paul, but he's a pretty cool guy, and he's helped me through many a tough moment. (If it's ok to have a "favorite" apostle... Paul is mine... he penned many of the New Testament books and talks more about his conversion experiences in some of them.)

I agree with Latasha about reading Psalms. God will never leave you or forsake you. Although you are feeling broken now, remember that you will never be given more than you can handle. We are all with you in prayer and in spirit.

I really like the Serenity Prayer when I feel afraid.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I agree that the Serenity Prayer gives both comfort and good advice. It also helps to find a prayer partner or accountability partner or a mentor to walk with during growth as a Christian.

I haven't read your other article but I believe God is a gentleman. He waits for your invitation with open arms to heal you in his time not ours. I have had experience in my life when I turned my back on God out of pain and despair. I believe he never left me. I turned my back on him and the lord was there when I "returned." God works through people. I believe he gave us free will and we can choose to be an instrument of love or we can choose to be an instrument of evil. I don't have all the answers. People say why do bad things happen to good people, because he gave us free will and that choice. I pray your heart, mind, body, and soul begin healing. I only know from my life and my experiences, but I felt such depression, pain, and despair and like I couldn't live in this world. I am here writing this to you now and that is evidence that I did. I am. I do and I can even if it is taking it little by little or moment by moment each day.

The Serenity Prayer is a favorite of mine. Also, Leslie, don't feel like you have to say anything fancy to talk to God. Forget all the thee's and thou's. Just talk to Him like a father because He is your Father. I like to call Him my Daddy. :-)

Oh yeah, read Romans 8. It's awesome!

OH thnk u every1...all that uve said...is really comforting, im sorry right now i cant personally adress ur comments as i like to...very busy...but thank u, i will surely read all the suggestions,every1 gave.Thank you

Leslie, in my life I have faced a LOT of trials, and I've been very disobedient to God when I KNEW the right answer. When I was a young adult, I turned away from God, because I was not well trained to defend my faith, and geez, if I decided I wasn't sure, I got to party. However, a few years later, I came to the abject realization that I MISSED Him. I knew in my heart you can't miss a myth fed to you for decades by your parents.

I wrote an article recently on one of my own very broken days. It's here:

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976971143

Jesus doesn't take away our past, He forgives us of it. He isn't showing you you're broken, He's showing you you're put back together. I hope this helps.

Leslie - Many have mentioned the Psalms and I wholeheartedly agree! But which ones - there are so many. Here are a few that I particularly like:

1, 3, 6, 23, 34 (my personal favorite), 61, and 146.

Also, the book of Ruth is an excellant short story that tells of a pagan woman who gave herself to God. Because of her faith, God rewarded her. It's just after the book of Judges and before Samual in the Old Testament.

We are here for you, Leslie. But, more importantly, Jesus is always there with His sweet love. Allow Him to hold you and comfort you.

Leslie - When I was a kid I broke a treasured toy. It was shattered, totally beyond any hope of being mended. I wished no one would ever find out. I tried hiding the pieces, but my Dad noticed the toy was missing. He took the bits away and fixed them for me. It took a while. I didn't believe he could do it. But he did. God's like that too.

Leslie,

Dear child don't make your start at the end of the book. The book of Revelation is one full of things to learn but even for the ones who have been at it a long time without the whole message it can be very scary. As one so new Leslie start at Mathew chapter one and read to the book of Revelation and stop, then go to Genesis and read to Revelation and then find someone within your church to read over the book of Revelation with you. To often people seek out the end of a story first without what leads up to it and sometimes it make less sense than it should if we have a clear understanding of what leads up to the end. I know allot say we are in the end times but without a clear understanding how do they know. The plan truth of it after Jesus left this earth we have been in the end times but the amount of time which passes during the end time is not map out for us and as Jesus teaches us none shall know the time. There are points mapped out within the book of Revelation but many just overlook them for all the things about doom and gloom they wish to perceive as the books function. The book of Revelation is a basic teaching tool to offer things we should change within ourselves before the end is at hand but please wait for when you have more of the teachings of God within your heart to seek those things out.

I will pray for you Leslie as the pathway your on is not full nor is it an easy path but it is one no one most be alone on as God is there to help us through the hard times and even pick us up when we fall. Leslie, if you find the words hard to understand within the Bible you have a lot of choices with the wording as there are a large number of versions some read better than others. I use the New Living Translation Bible as it reads easy enough for my little mind to understand what is being said. There are a number of sites which offer the many different versions to read so shop around and when you do understand what your reading your set for the start. Just remember the Bible is of Gods word and allow His Love to flow from the pages and fill you with the spirit. As a Christian we aspire to allow Gods Great gift of Love to fill our lives and live within this Love and to share it!

May the Blessing of God also bring His Love, Joy, and Peace all the days of your life!

OH every1 thank you..i am feeling much better...ive actually been reading a lot of Psalms an it helps.
Thank you so much.

Kathleen thank you very much...I have this other site (myspace) an the serenity prayer is on their...so every time I look at it I am reminded of it.
thank you very much.

Leslie, there are always questions. The great news is, God doesn't mind us asking them. Sometimes His answer is wait and see, but He always answers. For a new Christian, it can be scary to feel as though there are things you don't understand. Give the scared feelings to Him. And be assured of His love, even if you ask questions. You are in my prayers.

I can't add much to what's already been said. But, look at all the brothers and sisters of yours who are all praying for you, offering kind words and well wishes. Your not alone in this. When a sister hurts, we all hurt. Everyone of us is pulling for you and praying hard for you. Me Too!! God won't let you down!!

OH thank you all so much "invaderb (Bill) R." u are so right.
U all dont realize it but ur prayers r already beggining to help.
Thank you all so much.
An if anyone wants prayer for anything...I know I can help by praying.
Thank you for praying me through this.

we are all scared sometimes Leslie. Let me suggest something to you ok honey?
First of all, if you are a new Christian, Revelation is not the best place to start. I have been a Christian for 33 years, and I don't understand the end times and prophecy very well.

I am going to recommend four authors to you. And a couple of specific books by them.... Anything they write is so great, and will help you on your spiritual walk.

Beth Moore.... "Believing God" Get the book and the workbook and go through this. It's great and will be awesome for a new Christian and your walk with Him.
Also...she has one called "Breaking Free" that is great and I also recommend "A Woman's Heart"

Next...Joyce Meyer.
"Battlefield of the mind"
"8 ways to keep the Devil under your feet"....awesome book
"7 Things that steal your Joy"

Max Lucado.---There really isn't a bad book by him. I read everything I can get my hands on...here are a few of my favorites.

"YOU!...God's Brand New idea: Made to be Amazing" (My daughter got this one for Graduation...it's a great book)
"Facing your Giants"...this really needs to be a must read for every Christian in my opinion.
"For those tough Times"
"Come Thirsty"

Sheila Walsh--I have every book she's ever written.

"The heartache no one sees-Real healing for a Woman's wounded Heart"
"God has a dream for you life"
"Life is tough..but God is faithful"
"Bring back the Joy"
"Honestly"
"I'm not wonder woman..but God made me wonderful"

Also, if you don't have a home church, please find one. The other members will help lift you up. They will pray for you and with you. My husband has been a pastor for 20 years and we have friends all over the world. If you don't have a church, please let me know where you are, and I will find someone in your area to pray with you, counsel and guide you.

We're all in this together....hang in there sweetheart!

My prayers are with you. I know what you are talking about. I once had a preacher tell me (not directly but more in a sermon, must have been God talking to me through him) that only the wounds, scars, battle sores and broken hearts can be fixed one at a time because it is only us that stands in the way of God's healing.

The fear comes from our old self's putting up a fight to keep those things that do not benefit us before and after meeing Jesus. It is also a realization that we might have to face those old hurts, sometimes reopening a wound for God to cleanse it and heal it. Does that make sense to you?

I have had to do this and I will tell you that it is scary at first. But once you open up and let God be your wonderfull Daddy God, He won't let that old wound hurt more than it did before, the hurt will actually start an amazing fading away that is so gentle and peaceful that you will find a freedom you have never known before.

Yes, our world is a mess but we do not need to fear any of it. Jesus has already conquered all that stands in our way of living a blessed and abundant life in Jesus.

I also recommend, highly recommend Joyce Meyer! She has been where you are just like many of us!

My prayers are with you, as well as the rest of us here - know that and take strength from it. We've all been where you are right now - it gets better, honest. Gentle Hugs - Marilyn

Paula Carpenter thank you for those suggestions I defintly will look up most of those books..maybe even all of them(but not all at once).
An I do have a church home..now atleast, I consider them my church home.
Stephanie thank you I will look up some books by that author..an it is hard to let God heal the wounds.
Marilyn thank you, you know when I read your comment where you said "gentle hugs" I got this sense of God wrapping His arms around me.
Thank you for all of your suggestion, ive been reading the Bible, an praying, an im looking up some of the other suggestions of books.
God Bless you all.

Leslie, you have gotten a lot of wonderful suggestions and support here. I don't have any suggestions but will keep you in prayer. The Psalms have a lot of wonderful reading, no matter how you are feeling. I have read several of Sheila Walsh's books that Paula recommended. They are all excellent.

Leslie, I am so glad that you get to see that there are so many Christians out there praying for you and offering help and suggestions. We aren't alone here in our little bitty town :) You know where to find me if you need.
Always praying for you little sister :)

I have a great idea! My pastor used to say all the time that the book of Proverbs was written for teenagers and if a teen were to read one chapter a day (5-6 min) and then spend a few minutes thinking about what God is teaching at the end of one month it would be finished and after several months of faithfully reading the book of proverbs most christians would gain wisdom and character over time.

I think this works for adults too. How can we hear God if we are not in his word?

I will pray for your success and do not forget that God is so big, nothing we can come up with is bigger or better than God.

***thank you Kristen that means a lot to me big sis***
yeah Wilam i know.
Jeanne that is a good suggestion but i Have already read proverbs now, but i might again :) & yeah i agree!

I think humanity is now working with God. The kingdom of God is within, within us. We are God, and we forgot. Now we are remembering. God hasn't forgotten. We are trying to make this world heaven. God is helping us. In our forgetting many unhappy things have happened. God is now working with us to get us back on course; to make life on Earth heaven. We create, and in our forgetting we have created unhappy things. That's all now changing. 'Patience attains all that it strives for'. It's very painful right now, that's because we have woken up and have looked around and we are seeing what has happened in our forgetting. We can tidy it all up. Patience. 'She/he who has God finds she/he lacks nothing'. God is within us, and we can rely on that.