What IS Love????

Love is a four letter word that is often miss-used or miss-represented. Most people think that they love someone or are in love with someone but they truly Lust them. Love comes in many ways shapes and forms. You can love someone like a sibling or you can love someone with you're true heart and soul. Love is something that should mean good things ie: Hugs kisses I love yous, i miss you and more physical and mental love is better for the soul. Love is a word that should be used with caution! If you don't know what true love is then you should not tell someone that you "love" them. Love may come in the form of a thank you, a dinner, a card, flowers or even just a simple I love you. But to know true love you must first Love yourself before someone else can love you and mean it :)

I hope the abuse is past you, and you are on a journey of healing. If you are still being abused I will hold you in my thoughts and pray you find the stregnth to seek help. Always know it is never your fault that someone else has an anger control or other problem, and an abusive or addicted person will always try and blame you for their actions. When the real fault is within them. As for the question of love for me it is as simple as the golden rule, always treat others as you would like to be treated.

Love is something you give, not receive. You cannot abuse someone and consider that giving love.

When you love yourself, you are the most emotionally happy.

If you think about it, we never REALLY know the level of "love" someone has for us.

Confusing? Yea, just as love was meant to be.

For a long, long time, I was afraid to get close to anyone, even my own children. I had been hurt by the one I thought loved me and I found it very difficult to be the loving person that I normall am. I was just going through the motions. Then one day I found an old friend that led me back to who I really was and showed me that I can love and be loved. Now I am myself again and I can love others and be loved by others. But it is difficult when you lose that capacity. I don't know what to say other than that I hope you get it back. Life is so much better when you can love and be loved.

Don't give up.

Thank you guys for your comments. Miranda I am not in an abusive relationship now but was in an abusive home my mom abused me both emotionally and physically and my experience with love has been messed up I want to know and experience the love that people should know and experience

I am glad you are planting love in your garden, may it grow plentifull. I had a similiar childhood. It is good we surround ourselves with family that loves us to help us recover and lead happy lives.

my love is... dedicated to Katrena M.
by M. Emmett Townsend

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976879566

Love is what inspire me to write that poem...
My prayers are with you, my sister.

My sister, I am pleased you like it...

My love...
is what made me stay up till 1:00 am to make sure
I did something nice for one who is diserving of love, frinedship, and kindness.

Good Night, and God Bless.

thank you goodnight sleep well it is 2:06am here I have to get to bed as well kids have school tomorrow

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:3-5

good topic. It is hard for me to get to close to anyone I date because I have a fear of getting hurt or abused.I date but it will be a long time before I ever want to get involved with anyone again

Love is the conscious decision to ignor someones faults and acccept someone as they are. If what they are becomes unacceptable love does not exist for them.

I think love is accepting others unconditionally. Faults and perfections alike.Love is forgiving others for their shortcommings. I dont think that includes abuse though. Nobody has to accept that nor should they. I have know many woman and girls alike, who were abused by family members. I have seen the pain and loss of trust that they have in their life.
Love is being there when someone needs you and never regretting the time you spend with someone.

Love is giving unconditionally and not expecting anything back. Accept a person as they are , faults and all, and that is true love.

I can only draw from my own experience but after a rather messy (abusive and non-faithful) marriage for 21 years I became single again by choice (the PC way of saying the kids were grown and I got a divorce).
My divorce was not particularly ugly - it had bad moments but nothing in the "scarred for life - hate men forever" kind of way. Nonetheless, I was done having children, still relatively young (39 at the time)and ready to just "be" me. I had consciously made the decision that I did not need nor want a co-habiting relationship again. A year after my divorce was final, I met Nathan online back in the day when this was not so much the norm (1997). After talking online for several months he revealed that he was 27(at that time) while I was 13+ years older. He had never been married, no kids, and had just been honorably discharged from the USMC. He became just a good friend to talk to occasionally. Over several months this began to change for him. He didn't let me in on this at first because he knew I was still a bit gun shy however I began to sense a change in our conversations and email both in frequency and depth. I immediately put on the brakes and tried to make this wonderful young man realize that he should expend this emotional energy on someone closer in age, who was looking for a long-term relationship with all the accoutrements. He never pushed but he continued to be persistent with his wish for us to meet face to face. I continued to tell him we could never be anything more than friends. He came up from Arizona, I spent one whole day in his company which turned into one night and then one more day and one more night until he finally made me realize that I really was in love with him and all he stood for. We got married in 1999 and have been blissfully happy ever since. He is the most strong, gentle, wonderful, sweet, compassionate, unselfish, man with the highest level of integrity and honor that I have ever met. Having found this wonderful human being and sharing our lives together is not just the opposite of being alone. It's fireworks, heartstrings, passion, contentment - there just aren't enough words even for me the Queen of the Thesaurus! So now that I've rambled on WAY too long. There is nothing wrong with being alone vs the wrong person. But with the right person - you are never alone even when one of you is clear on the other side of the world. As I write this, my husband is in Afghanistan serving his country again. Nathan, I love you and miss you terribly. Be strong and stay safe!
*this was cut and paste from a comment a made to another article a different day but I thought it fit here also*

I am so hooked into Love=Pain, that I cannot reach out for more love.
Not just abuse - abandonment, rejection, all of the above.
Being alone means being buffered, protected from love and pain, both.

katrina,
i had recived your request for invitaion , i will send it to you after some time ,
you will find fiction written by me in my blog .www.jivan.gather.com find time to read and give me feed back .
jivan.

Such a sad topic, and one that touches my heart so easily. I too have felt the effects of abuse linger throughout my life. And although I get through most days without anything drastic happening, there are times I can't stand to be touched. I don't want people around me and I become almost agoraphobic. I can only tell you that healing for me came through God and through acceptance that the things that had happened to me were not my fault, and learning to love myself. At first we fight this as selfishness which we are taught from childhood is wrong. It's okay to be selfish. You are important too. In fact, you should be the most important "person" in your own life. Good luck and keep writing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYbxUCmLosY

Love isn't love without trust. Trust doesn't go with abuse at all. Having been a "victim of abuse", not just once, but well.. it doesn't matter as through getting out of the situations and finding the man that I could love and trust, in any way, or as my best friend, that's what love is to me.

Sometimes we find it when we're really not looking - that's how it happened with me. Hang in there, love will come to you too.

Marilyn

I have already posted an article explaining the four different kinds of love.
Katrena, you speak of being abused by your parent(s). Although the one douing the abusing has verbally said they love you, their actions are proving otherwise. No parent who truly loves their children will abuse them. They may discipline them for some wrongdoing, but not abuse them.
I don't think anyone can "learn" to love. Love comes from the heart. But love can grow. It can become stronger like a muscle gets stronger as it is used frequently.
Love for your children should be natural. Showing them love will give them confidence and that unconditional love will begin to get easier to give the more it is displayed and practiced.

Katrena, there are different kinds of love. Most of us are familiar with romantic love where we get all warm and tingly inside. But the deeper love is not so much a feeling as a choice we make. That choice is to see another person with all their faults and problems and to care about them anyway. It is to see another person through the eyes of God. (That doesn't mean that we allow them to abuse us in any way or that we condone their behavior) We can dislike what a person does and still love them.

In "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson, she writes about relationships: "The purpose of a relationship is not for two incomplete people to become one, but rather for two complete people to join together for the greater glory of God."

I like that. We don't look for people to complete us. We are already complete. God created us that way. That being said, we may have problems and need to get help to work through feelings and thoughts that we don't understand. Those of us who have been abused find that this can help us see ourselves differently and to be able to open our hearts and accept another's love. Trust is usually an issue and feelings of unworthiness. Those who have been abused often don't feel they deserve love. Everyone deserves love. Katrena, YOU deserve love. Don't be afraid. Allow God to show you the way.

"Perfect love casts out fear." Where love is there can be no fear or anxiety or stress.

Katrena, I think love is a feeling in your heart that you care so much for another person that care for them unconditionally, no matter what. You accept them as they are and don't try to change them. Likewise, they feel the same about you.
You feel safe, warm and do want them to feel the same.You actually complete each other as soulmates. I wish you all the best and hope your heart will soften in time
and you will know how to receive love and give it to those that really care about you. God Bless.

I think everyone on here has it just about right. For me true love is about the everyday things. It's when my husband does silly little dances for me because he knows I am stressed out or in pain and he wants to make me laugh. It's the fact I know I can call the people I love anytime day or night and they will be there for me (even my mom who goes to bed early will take a call for me at 2 am just to say hello and I love her.) It's warming up my side of the bed for me when I come to bed later. I know I love my husband because I don't want to live without him, even if I could. I love him because he made me whole in ways I didn't even realize were incomplete.

Katrena. Excellent, excellent question!

I think Paul gives the best description of love in Corinthians. I've always - well - loved that description. I think love is looking and really seeing, listening and really hearing, without judgement, without comment. It is total regard and acceptance of the one loved. I also think it is a skill that has to be practiced in order to get good at it. And I would finally say, it is probably the best thing there is in life worth doing. Thanks for the question.

1st, Love is not all this happily ever after stuff. It can be full of pain, it is making it thru those hard times with someone that can really make you see true love, knowing that you found that person who loves you and all your faults and doesn't try 2 change who you really are as a person, they don't want 2 control you they only want 2 love you, they're your best friend and you love them 4 who they are and all they're faults. But most of all you have got 2 love yourself, or nobody else will. Don't let your past dictate your future, I know that it is hard not 2 think about that abuse that you went thru, I was abused sexually at the age of 5 and it really gets at me sometimes, but what makes me smile is the fact that I made it thru the abuse, and it's over. Take a look at yourself, I bet your beautiful and strong, you will make it thru the storm, it can't rain everyday girlfriend, you will be happy!!

Love is knowing when to keep your mouth shut. ;)

i had never been in love .i can only preach about UNIVERSAL LOVE. the new religion .that is the name of my new religion(book). i am in search of life .. what is life ?

thanks for comments

i hope you find a way back into love.........

Here's a 10