This was a really good one, Cheryl. Haikus are supposed to be about nature, whether nature represents leaves, water, or our emotions likened to the natural beauty around us. Very nicely done.
I love this haiku, you have the essence of nature grasped within the short three lines BUT I feel that you third line lackens a strength or a punch that I am used to reading in a Haiku...my suggestion to you is to change the line "Tears fall from Heaven" to "Heavenly tears fall", you are still keeping your five syllable count at at the same time your personification of the tears becomes stronger. What do you think?
Great combination of photo and image, Cheryl. I love the final line now that you've made the change, "heavenly tears fall," and the photo is, in my opinion, the most mysterious on you've ever put on Gather.
Lovely picture and soothing poem...there are days that fog/drizzle are just as welcome as sun...but one does become weary when it's the norm for too long.
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Comments: 22
Nice Work on both Cheryl!
I love this haiku, you have the essence of nature grasped within the short three lines BUT I feel that you third line lackens a strength or a punch that I am used to reading in a Haiku...my suggestion to you is to change the line "Tears fall from Heaven" to "Heavenly tears fall", you are still keeping your five syllable count at at the same time your personification of the tears becomes stronger. What do you think?
Gregg