by Svetlana Goryacheva
Member since:
June 4, 2006

A KNIGHT AT THE CROSSROADS (A Miniature)

September 13, 2009 12:47 PM EDT (Updated: September 16, 2009 01:40 AM EDT)
views: 238 | comments: 50

 

Another poetic experiment inspired by the well-known painting of Viktor Vasnetsov (1848 – 1926) - a Russian artist who specialized in mythological and historical subjects; a key figure of the revivalist movement in Russian art. The motive is taken from the old Russian bylinas, but has its parallels inside numerous cultural traditions all around the globe. Since this is an experiment, any useful critique/ suggestions are welcome.


Lazy Sun slowly rolls down to the golden horizon;

Snorts and hoofs impatiently your devout stallion,


Swaying heedlessly the wild steppe grass around.

Only instant gentle breeze carries an ominous sound –


The remote scream of an invisible kite

Chasing tirelessly after the straying knight.


Lance at the ready; shield behind the hauberk shoulder.

Before you the huge weathered boulder -


Covered by moss, rooted deeply in earth.

The whole world seems to hold its breath,


Waiting obediently for your ultimate choice,

And even the grasshoppers muffled their voices.


Turn to the right, and you’ll get a wife;

Turn to the left, and you’ll have a sumptuous life.


But the middle road that leads straight ahead –

The route never walked, or ridden, or fled –


Where amidst the perils Love awaits for you,

Fights and risks abounding; miles to claim your due.


Squinting in anticipation, you stare at the horizon

And spur your fiery stallion, heading him straight on.


An enticing goal, worthier than pelf –

You may not survive, but you’ll save yourself.



Svetlana Goryacheva

September 13, 2009

 

 
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Comments: 50

*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle D. Sep 13, 2009, 12:49pm EDT
That's awesome. It's lovely.
God bless.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:37pm EDT
Thank you kindly, dear Carol! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
amazing write~so good to read your prose again Sveta~ =)
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:37pm EDT
It's my pleasure as well, darling... missed you all badly! :-)

Hugs and blessings - S.
Chris Brockman Sep 13, 2009, 1:09pm EDT
This does evoke the spirit of kinighthood (mythical or not) to charge quixotically towards dange. almost for danger's sake, and eschewing the easy life of privilege. The somewhat traditional word choice, syntax, and form fit the topic well.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:38pm EDT
Excellently put, dear Chris... it's precisely what I tried to achieve.

Blessings and best wishes - S.
sandesh b. Sep 13, 2009, 1:10pm EDT
lovely writing.... and nice selection of song too
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:40pm EDT
Thank you kindly, dear Sandesh... I do love this song by Bryan Adams, and it seemed to be a good addition. :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Jennifer Lee Sep 13, 2009, 1:26pm EDT
Vivid and wonderful. Great to see you! Hugs
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:40pm EDT
Great to see you as well, darling! Love and hugs! :-)
John Doyle Sep 13, 2009, 1:32pm EDT
Excellent work. Just one tiny suggestion. If it were broken into stanzas, it would be easier on the reader. good to see you back my dear
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:41pm EDT
Good idea, dear Bard, as always... I'll think about this. Missed you so! :-)

Hugs and blessings - S.
lea and... c. Sep 13, 2009, 1:46pm EDT
Svetlana, love the poem, I noticed parts that were fluid ....and beautiful , but the word screwing up your eyes, not sure about it, it made me laugh because it is often used for other meanings today. But then old english is not my forte maybe it was used in the past as you did.
Remember I am Italian so english is my second language.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:50pm EDT
To the best of my knowledge, dear Lea, it is used in the same way in modern literary English as well - at least, that's what all my dictionaries say. Such a typical problem when a "regular" word begins to be associated more closely with its another, secondary meaning, sometimes obscene. Anyway, I didn't find a synonym to express my thought better - any suggestions?...

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Sandi S. Sep 13, 2009, 1:47pm EDT
"You may not survive, but you’ll save yourself."


This line struck me. I read it again and again. Powerful.

Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:51pm EDT
This was actually the very first line I wrote, dear Sestryonka. :-) Glad that you liked it!

Hugs and blessings - S.
Barbra L. Sep 13, 2009, 2:48pm EDT
Personal musings reflective of the distinct charm of a Russian writer. Poignantly penned so as to remind us of the ideas, “parallels”, inside the traditions of knighthood. A striking experiment, Sveta, that leaves me with a deeper appreciation of your talent and the painting(s) of Viktor Vasnetsov. His works are a must-see. Thank you immensely for this introduction to your motive from the old Russian bylinas.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:53pm EDT
As always, sweet Barb, you understood me perfectly - if someone wants to get a closer acquaintance with Vasnetsov's works, I deliberately left some links to follow - thank you beyond all words for your exceptional insight! :-)

Love and hugs in a plenty - S.
Angela A. Sep 13, 2009, 2:56pm EDT
Oooh, I love that Song!!
And, your poem rocks.
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 13, 2009, 2:59pm EDT
Thank you wholeheartedly, dear Angela! :-) it's always my pleasure.

Blessings and best wishes - S.
John Doyle Sep 13, 2009, 4:44pm EDT
If this piece wer read to an audience it wouldn matter because it is of high quality. But because it is on the internet stanzas make it so much easier to read. Over here we call it black on the paper. Please my dear lady don't be offended.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 12:39pm EDT
Offended??? O-h-h, no, dear Bard - just the way around! :-) You know, my dear friend, that your opinion is always highly valued and appreciated.

Hugs and blessings - S.

Alison H. Sep 13, 2009, 4:31pm EDT
Beautifully told. There are many distractions and temptations along the road of life. Best to follow the unknown, "straight and narrow" into one's own destiny. Then "you'll save yourself." But what of the boulder? Up and over...or perhaps the boulder will fall away.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 12:44pm EDT
In fact, dear Alison, these words:

"Turn to the right, and you’ll get a wife;

Turn to the left, and you’ll have a sumptuous life.

But the middle road that leads straight ahead –

The route never walked, or ridden, or fled..." -

is my poetic rendering of the actual inscription on the boulder, taken from the Russian folklore. It ended with the warning that the one who followed this middle road would perish... and naturally the protagonist chooses the most dangerous road and ultimately finds everything he was seeking for - including a wife and an abundant life. :-)

Hugs and blessings - S.
Alison H. Sep 14, 2009, 8:47pm EDT
Beautiful!
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 15, 2009, 2:00am EDT
...One of the fairy tales I learned almost from my cradle. :-)

Love and hugs - S.
Alison H. Sep 15, 2009, 2:39pm EDT
It sounds like a good one, and reminds me of a tale collected by the (German) Brothers Grimm, "The Water of Life."
lea and... c. Sep 13, 2009, 5:58pm EDT
You are right not much there, beside squinting, scrunch up eyes...well your choice is better.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 12:46pm EDT
Squinting, maybe?... I'll try it.

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Beautifully written, my sweet friend... yes, it's true, all of it and you write straight from your heart, your soul, this might be the Road Less Traveled, but usually the best to take.

Featured in Poets, New and Old

Hugs,

M
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 12:52pm EDT
Thank you in abundance for your kind words and for the honor, my sweet friend! As always, they're much appreciated. Hugs and blessings to you! -)
JOHN BECK Sep 13, 2009, 7:27pm EDT
Well written and evokes noble images. I admit I had to look up "pelf".
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 12:53pm EDT
... Another word for wealth, a bit derogative. Thank you in a plenty, dearest John! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Mustafa Demiri Sep 13, 2009, 7:39pm EDT
Mustafa Demiri Sep 13, 2009, 7:39pm EDT
I love this sort of poem, and I also stumbled over the "Screwing up your eyes"
One might cock their eyes toward something, or hold something in ones eyes or sights. I love the poem, but I feel that line does need a change.

So glad to see you after such a long hiatus. Welcome back, my friend.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 12:58pm EDT
I rewrote it, dear Mustafa... maybe not quite exactly what I tried to say, but still you're right - it works better. Thank you so very much for the warm welcome, my dear talented friend - it's wonderful to see you again as well - I'll surely visit your page, knowing in advance that you have a treat or two in store! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Mustafa Demiri Sep 14, 2009, 1:10pm EDT
You are always welcome, My friend.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 1:13pm EDT
:-))) (A Russian smile).
Beth G. Sep 13, 2009, 7:40pm EDT
This was very well written. This is the featured post for comment as you please today!
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 1:00pm EDT
Thank you so very much, dear Beth... I'm honored and delighted! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.
Georgiana S. Sep 13, 2009, 11:11pm EDT
Delicious! nice to see you Svetlana.
I have no critique, you captured the essence perfectly and the metaphors were plain to see, on the road ahead!
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 14, 2009, 1:17pm EDT
Thank you in great abundance, dear Georgiana! You're so kind! :-)

Hugs and blessings - S.
Fred Hose Sep 15, 2009, 5:47am EDT
How wonderful. My kind of story. I loved it.
I'm aways amazed how simmilar the folk tales of many countries are. It's as if there is a common denominator amongst all of the people of this world.
I suggest that all four of the lines taken from the rock should be in italics...not just the first two.
I've read the discussions above on squinting etc and what you've written works well. I would have taken another route and written "Eagerly, in anticipation, you stare..." It would express more clearly to me how the knight was feeling.
Second last line : that word "pelf"? You got me there.
Dear Sveta I would have merely applauded but you did ask for a critique. I hope that you don't mind my comments. They are well meant.
Svetlana Goryacheva Sep 15, 2009, 6:26am EDT
Of course, my dearest friend, I don't mind! :-) You're right about italics. I like your variant of the "stare" line, but still it seems to me that "eyes" should be involved here in some way. As for "pelf", it's indeed a rare word, but quite fitting here, both as a rhyme and as an expression of my idea of "worldly goods". Thank you so very much for your most useful suggestions!

Hugs and blessings - S.
Fred Hose Sep 15, 2009, 10:08am EDT
Hi Sveta
I meant that eagerness to apply to the eyes. Perhaps my idea should have been stated like this "In anticipation, you eagerly stared at..." but I've said enough. It's your beautiful poem and it must remain your creation.
Thanks for teaching me a new word.
Best of good luck....Fred
FRED R. Sep 21, 2009, 7:29am EDT
spasibo
William Dotani Sep 21, 2009, 2:52pm EDT
There are several lovely lines in this beautiful lyrical poem. The flow is just slightly faster than common speech, which in itself is a metaphor for the Knight's honored status. The last line brought forth a few different ways to look at what makes a Knight's life hinorable. To not abuse his power, to act with decency or Chivilary and to look forward by such actions to be satisfied with his life now and at death. This is a great piece of poetry in my eyes.
I also love this line: And even the grasshoppers muffled their voices.
Nancy Silveria Sep 22, 2009, 1:55pm EDT
Ah, dear Svetlana, your words seem to echo my life today. Here I traveled for the honor or your art and saw that I was days late with reading. As I read it, I realized there was some spirit at work here, as this post has sound advice and earnest lessons of life that I so needed to hear today.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is a piece of literary delight. =)
Hugs my friends.
amanda wallin Sep 26, 2009, 9:13am EDT
An evocative, brilliant journey wrought with imagination written exquisitely. A perfect fit
Marsha S. Oct 1, 2009, 12:18pm EDT
I looked forward to hearing the song, but unfortunately embedding has been disabled
Svetlana Goryacheva Jan 1, 2010, 10:56am EST
Thank you all for your most kind and generous words, my dear ones! And may his journey be blessed, no matter what destination he chooses. :-)

Happy New Year - blessings and best wishes - S.

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