Reciprocating is important and I wanted to make sure I reciprocated to everyone who has commented on my published articles in say the past 10 days. Although I often enjoy what my Gather friends write, it is very very time consuming and that gets to the reason for this letter. Yesterday I received a very insulting Ping. By insulting I mean it baseless and false accusatory words. I have zero respect for such and this is something that makes me feel anger which is 180 degrees counter the positive outcomes mindset I have been working on for health reasons. I've decided it's not yet time to divulge the reason for this article.
Let's talk about the "Friends' List." Why would a person ask another person Gather to be a friend? Do they enjoy what the person is publishing; do they just want another person to respond to their articles to get points; are they promoting a book they wrote; or maybe the person is a bit lonely and wants to meet nice people. My view of friend might be different than some people, but to me the basis for friendship is communication. I have had at least 50 people I've accepted as friends who have never once commented on one of my articles. I'm a writer and only by a sampling of comments can I take a more objective look at that I’ve penned. Comments are communication and the basis of friendships.
There is something I always do before I request a person to be my friend. I always go and read their comments. I can get a feeling what this person thinks and if we have some compatible interests. The goodness of a person almost always shines in the casual voice of their pen. Unfortunately, sometimes I don't sense the person has goodness. I needed a balance, so I've decided not to accept any more friends unless they have commented on one of my articles. Why do they want to be my friend and not communicate with a comment? I am simply too busy to look at the comments of people requesting to be my friend, so I can see if we have like minded thoughts or interests.
People have different commenting styles and many say they don't feel the need to comment, if they don't like something. I have no problem with such logic, but when a person never comments, I guess they don't like anything I write. You do realize this destroys my self esteem. I use a dainty hanky or is this one of my dollies? There are some people I am rather close to, but I think everyone is important, so I do my best to reciprocate by leaving a comment on one of their articles within a week or hopefully sooner. I do not have time to honor requests sent to me inbox or to my Ping. I often don’t read letters in my inbox for weeks and then I just delete everything that is not a personal message. This is my firm personal criteria and I have no expectations it is yours.
Unless the opening of an article or story is well written and interesting, I will not read anything longer than 800 words. I’ll leave 10 stars and just a neutral comment. I simply don’t have the time and brings me to the reason for this letter. I will not be on Gather much for the rest of this month. I am simply overwhelmed with chores to do at home. I unfortunately have a health problem, which causes quite a lot of pain in my left shoulder if I sit too long. Amazingly I have no pain at all now. My pain is not debilitating and does not stop me from enjoying physical labor. I will probably make a few comments when I get up and after Midnight. I have no plans to publish anything soon. I bought a new PC over a month ago and I still haven’t set it up. I had to reboot the PC I’m using twice to get online today. I’m also trying to get a book of my poems published. The stress is getting to me and I must take some time to relax. I’m not leaving. I’m just taking a break.
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Comments: 173
You have a life. You have a health issue. You have things you need to do. Most people here can understand that. Just do what William needs to do, and if and when you can comment, I am sure it will be very much appreciated.
I hate the tit for tat stuff on Gather, especially when it comes to comments. I wasn't around for nearly 2 weeks with daddy stuff, and posted several times but wasn't able to get around to others. Most of my friends understood. That's how it should be here.
{{HUGS}} to you, sweet friend.
I believe in ev'ry thought you've shared here today, by the way!
Blessings & a bit o' sunshine William!
get to you, my fine friend.
Take care of yourself I miss reading the alphabet.
In particular, I echo this -- "I needed a balance, so I've decided not to accept any more friends unless they have commented on one of my articles. Why do they want to be my friend and not communicate with a comment?"
I'm puzzled by people who request connections without ever having appeared on any of my posts (nor I theirs) and who don't include any kind of connection request note to explain why we should be connected. (I accept some if the person appears sane and coherent in posts and comments to others.) If nothing I write is of interest to that person, then why would I be a good connection for him/her?
Get healthy, and de-stress. The same old crap will be here when you return. :-)
I hope you get some peace of mind over the next month or so, and I truly hope that you get a book published. Your writings are unique, whimsical and thoughtful.
I certainly would not want to be a drain on your time or energy and I'm sure many others feel the same.
Take care of yourself.
You have explained your criteria, which is more than most people do, and you never said that anyone had to follow your lead.
Personally, I think what you said makes sense. I probably have less connections than many members, and I do "clean house" periodically. I try to connect with members with whom I share interests, and I don't want my friends feed clogged with post I care nothing about, because it takes to long to sort through them.
I agree that if a person never leaves a comment on your post, why would you want (or they want) to be friends? (Here's a virtual hankie for your tears).
I hope your pain and stress lessen very soon. We like you to be happy and feeling good!
As to footwear, I usually just add socks.
Second I truly enjoy your bantering with others on here and reading what you and John Beck did together.
Your ideas and comments have always been taken with the true spirit of "giving" that you have conveyed.
I truly enjoy your poetry and hope you enjoy a very quick success in publishing the book.
Fourth I would appreciate a notice when it is published because I want to purchase.
Thanks for all your great comments. Hope you get chores finished to your suiting and balance that with a good rest.
I will miss you for a while but hope you come back rested, feeling accomplished and ready to let er rip in your pleasing style!
You now have me curious about Marge's Flickertail Story and hope you will point me to it so I can check out llama.
Hope you are having the best of days.
Bu the way Barbara means barbaric and strange. my middle name is Helen which means light. So I am a strange light (maybe the one to which the moth is attracted!) I do seem to be batting things away all the time!
We are off to Bill's High School Reunion picnic. I love to hear the stories. There are usually two or three old teachers invited each year. Gonna be fun!
*I want to especially thank you for having come to Sveta's birthday party. We enjoyed you so much, friend! :-)
I have had to cut back a lot here too - real life has been catching up with me - but real life is where it's at, after all!
Though I admit that I always love your comments :-)
Friend requests? I do the same, Bill. Sometimes someone who has commented on one of my posts or my friends' post will send a request and I feel that I know them well enough to accept. Sometimes it's blatantly an attempt to add notches to the requester's belt and more points. I check their posts and their comments and if I see no reason to add them, I don't. I try to keep my friends list to a manageable number; I don't fee that it's fair to swell the list and then not follow their posts.
I hope that you can get to feeling better
again real soon.
I am honored that I am listed as one of
your 'gather' friends, and I hope you
keep me there too.
I only have a very few people on my
friends list, as I want to get to know
the people and when there are so
many, I lose track of them. Maybe that
has something to do with age??????
Yikes I don't want to admit to that one.
Rest well, William and hurry back..........
Go smell the roses, Bill!
I'm improving, I think ... in a few weeks the doctor will hopefully confirm that.
And thank you very much.
Like you, I have a limited time on the computer....and so when I come to Gather I look for the "friends" and articles I know I will enjoy. I might not hit everything a friend has written, but I do try to be consistent.
This last week when I couldn't sleep one night, I went through and deleted some connections who haven't been around. Also deleted 25 groups. I rarely post to groups anymore so don't see any need to belong to a bunch. Plus by clicking on the group's home page, you can see if they are even active any more. A couple had owners who were no longer on Gather and many had not had articles featured for a year or so.
I've pretty much either deleted or blocked the people who send out the frequent requests to read their stuff. Consequently, I usually just have personal notes in my Gather mail.
I always enjoy your entertaining comments on my posts and photos. I hope that your arm pain would stay away and that you have a goodvacation from Gather. (Just be sure to come back!)
Plus I want to buy your book when you get it published.
Now that Liam's in a cast
Are there any blondes in Wilma's crew
Eating chocolate ants and watching cows fly too.
I very much appreciate you Wilma. You have helped me develop my humor writing. Thank you.
It is possible I have tendonitis. I can pinpoint the day this started (July 31) after some low intensity stretching exercises. I have osteoporosis in my legs, but with all the daily walking I do and that I've lost 60 lbs, the pain my legs has become rather minimal except right at the top of my right leg. When I walk for 10 minutes, it loosens and I can walk fairly well, but if I sit for 5 minutes, my leg locks up and I walk like House. Yesterday I was 222 lbs. I haven't been 222 lbs since 1999. My goal is 219 by August 31 and 205 by Halloween and 199 by Thanksgiving Day. I just have to keep away from French fries.
You can celebrate your birthday in style this year! With a can of slim fast and one French fry.
Slim fast is made with milk, so I won't drink it. I drink lots of The Evil Addiction.
I think I will skip the Miss Universe production.
I hope you feel better soon.
Our family(hubby, kids, and I) will be moving soon. So, I won't be commenting on my friends' posts for a while.
Just thought I'd let you know.
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
I must say that I totally agree with Pamela comments. But I'm so glad you decided to get your poems published. Your poems are beautiful, thougtful, and interesting.
Hugs and blessings from Moscow - S.
Take care of yourself. i will miss you but your health and family are important.
Best wishes on your book.
Sending hugs, love,and prayers for your happiness, health, and success.
Second, I want to apologize for whoever made this offensive ping, they must have been going through some kind of mental breakdown because to know you and your writings is to love you and your writings so there can be no other explanation.
Third, I admire you and your talent, sometimes I don't know how to take you I admit, but then I am slow to catch on to wit quite often, being one who takes life too seriously at times.
Fourth I find you honest and charming in your ways and very patient because sometimes it take me a long time to catch up on comments but there you always are when I make it to your posts, I also admire how you can go from being so serious and deep to a complete comedian in the blink of an eye. Please do not take whoever this person was seriously, there are plenty of us who admire and respect you.
Fifth, do whatever you need to do to get better, Gather will always be here. I will miss you and your posts but getting well is most important. You are loved. (((hugs)))
Regarding connections, yes i haave also connected to a lot who have never once stopped by to read so I stopped commenting so much.
have a great break and get well soon. Love and best wishes to you and your family.
I very much appreciate you and wish you well.
do what you must....be good.........
good luck with your endeavors and looking forward to seeing that book of your poetry becoming a reality..
Are you sure your not just going to catch up on reruns of the "Red -Green Show" or "Keeping Up Appearances?"
(in which case rest and NSAIDS is best)..maybe time to check with your doc or physical therapist..you drive yourself too hard..
maybe you should watch those reruns ..
YoY! Listen ,if you are exposed, totally..duct tape can be employed to create an amazing thong bikini....
BTW I didn't know duct tape was edible..are you actually constructing that secret cookbook you've had a hankering to do?
I saw your ' topical cabbage ankle tip' to reduce swelling and eliminate that embarrassing intestinal gas idea you left on Wilma's post....
"Mystery Meals from Michigan"..or
"Stick to Your Ribs ,Low Calorie Wonders" are two titles that spring to mind.."Of Tape and Tapeworms" may catch the consumer's wallet and imagination..I understand ingesting tapeworms is the latest weight loss secret of the stars..you could bill yourself as a weight loss guru..I believe Duct tape is low in calories?
I have to follow my health plan rules, so it will probably be 2 weeks before I see a doctor. (That's partially my fault because I'm changing my primary care doctor). All I know is that sitting causes pain in my left shoulder.
I know you have maybe worse health problems than I do, so my nagging complaints are like cheap vinegar, which is good for cleaning a coffee maker. I don't like taking drugs, especially nsaids. I wish I coud find a doctor here who cared more about me than big pharma. I think many doctors should have the initials DP instead of MD after their name to denote (legal) drug pusher.