my baby

Tomorrow my Bekka starts her last trimester in Jr. high...at her old school.

She's been having a hard time lately in Maple Lake. Enough to make herself physically ill. Enough to wish she'd "never been born".

Here's the link to her blog:

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976919171 <and>

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976925317

She'd let me see it just after she wrote it...she was having a hard time finding the words to talk(takes after someone I know). I want her to have more happiness in her life, so I'm letting her move in with her grandparents and finish the year at her old school. I'll only get to see her on weekends or days off...she's only 14. This is killing me, but I want her life to be better than mine.

I'm sharing this because I want parents to listen to their kids. They deserve happieness, don't they? We all want our kids to tell us what's going on, but even in close relationships sometimes it's hard.

So parents, love your kids, listen to them, acknowledge them in everything they/you do. They are non-refundable and priceless.

Comments: 12

Sue * Mar 6, 2007, 11:07pm EST

I'm sure you are doing what you know to be best for your child. It is hard to let them go, isn't it. Will she be back with you for summer and high school?

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Roxy K. Mar 6, 2007, 11:12pm EST

She'll Be home for the summer. She wants to do an Arts Magnet school next year, so hopefully she'll be home and have bussing.
It's terrible letting her go...I thought I'd have a few more years beofre this kind of experience.

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Latasha W. Mar 6, 2007, 11:21pm EST

Ron, I believe you are doing the best you can as a father, and your baby will be fine. Take care.

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roxanne m. Mar 6, 2007, 11:34pm EST

Oh Rox, I am so sorry, sweetie!!! You are doing what is best for her and will see her on weekends. Here's a big hug for you!

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Roxy K. Mar 7, 2007, 12:23am EST

Thanks Roxy.

Latasha...are you on the wrong page, girl?

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Carol Roach Mar 7, 2007, 4:12am EST

wishing you the best,

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Kathryn H. Mar 7, 2007, 9:09am EST

It takes a lot of courage and true love to make choices that are best for your children even when they break your heart. I can relate to this.
My son lives in VT with his father and I live in NH. I only see him on weekends, and school vacations. I wish desperately that he would want to live with me, but he is happy in VT and I would not take that away from him.
Sometimes I have real moments of grace where I am at peace with this and other times I sob and cry. In the end being a parent means that we love someone else more than we love ourselves. Therefore our broken hearts are sacrificed so that theirs may remain whole.
I wish you all the best!

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Gerry Wass Mar 7, 2007, 9:30am EST

Gotta be a tough thing for both of you, but that stability in high school can be so important at a time when the pressure of growing is so high. I'm sure you'll monitor it all closely and adjust so that you can find the silver lining.

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Roxy K. Mar 7, 2007, 8:53pm EST

Thank you Carol and Kathryn(I spent most of the day trying not to cry, and the rest crying!).

Gerry, since she's with my parents, I can still set the ground rules and she knew them before we even agreed.

Just seeing her face this morning as her old friends greeted her was something special I'll keep with me for along time. :)

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LaTrice T. Mar 8, 2007, 4:05pm EST

Rox , It takes a really good parent to listen to their kids and do whats best for them even when we dont agree or its not whats best for us. Your a good parent and I have a felling your daughter will be forever grateful for that.

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Roxy K. Mar 11, 2007, 3:21am EDT

Thank you, LaTrice.
I hope so :)

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Natalie Neal Whitefield Aug 13, 2008, 11:17pm EDT

Priceless. Keep close ties during the year. Even though this is what she wants, she may also miss you very much. When my daughter was going into her senior year, she stayed in her old school and stayed with loved ones---at her own request. It was what she really, really wanted. But now I see she also missed us very much, but never revealed that ache in her heart. If I were to do it all again, I would still fulfill her request, but I would have made sure she felt even more closeness to us. More visits. More letters (which would be emails now). More phone calls. I thought I was honoring her desire for independence, but what I didn't realize was that she often went to bed with an aching heart.

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Comments: 12

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