Book Review: Designated Daugher by D. G....

When I first signed up to review this book, I didn't know what to expect. My husband, myself, and our three children have shared a house with my mom for about eight years now. We moved in when my father was having some problems and in need of help - and he died of cancer a short time later. After fifty years of marriage, my mother was suddenly a widow and we were all trying to get settled into some sort of routine. It was hard combining two households into one - and it continues to be hard, now that the kids are older. How could anyone ever understand the situation we're in?

I worried that the book would be depressing - or worse, one of those spiritual 'every day is a gift' kind of books. Sure every day is a gift - but some days, that gift is a fruitcake. When the book arrived, I took a look at it with my mother. We were both happy to see that the book was written by both mother and daughter. "How nice," my mother said. "After you're finished reviewing it, I'd like to read it too." I often share my review books with her - and she shares the books she reads with me. This has led to some great discussions.

From the moment I started reading the book, I knew I was going to like it. D.G. with her once multi-colored hair and her multi-layered sense of humor tells it like it is, the good points and the bad. A lot of the fears and frustrations she expresses are things I have worried over as well. A lot of the things D.G and Phyllis enjoy doing together made me smile - because these are things that my mother and I do together as well. She calls these years spent with her mother 'The Bonus Years' - and really, that's what they are. The last time I lived at home was as a teenager - and really, what teenager wants to spend time with their mom? Now my mother (age 79 to my 38) is like my best friend - we do a lot of things together. Going out to lunch, playing Scrabble - we're also both members of our local historical society... we have a lot of fun! These really are the Bonus Years.

The sections written by Phyllis are amazing- it's obvious to see where her daughter gets the talent from. Phyllis became an author at age 82, writing It Must Have Been Moonglow: Reflections on the First Years of Widowhood. I'm going to try and pick up a copy for my mother because I'm sure she'll like it. Phyllis is one great lady - and her perspectives at the end of each chapter were one of the best parts of this book.

I highly recommend this for all Designated Daughters - and Designated Sons, too. It's so helpful to know that you're not alone, and to get an honest look at the lives of people who are going through a situation like yours. It also made me think about all the Designated Daughters and Sons we have here on Gather - what wonderful people they are - and how many mother/daughter or other family relationships we have represented here. I keep trying to get my mother to join Gather - so far, no luck, but she does read along with me sometimes.

While researching this article, I discovered that there is a companion journal called Things I'd Love You To Know: A Journal for Mothers and Daughters. I'm going to pick this up when I can afford to and see if my mom will fill it out with me.

This has turned into more of a personal talk than a book review - but the book is like that. It's very personable and invites conversation. Thanks, D.G and Phyllis, for writing a great book for Designated Daughters like me!

For more information:
Connect to DG Fulford on Gather
Articles by DG Fulford on Gather
Designated Daughter reading group guide
Designated Daughter on Amazon
Things I'd Love you To Know: A Journal for Mothers and Daughters on Amazon
It Must Have Been Moonglow: Reflections on the First Years of Widowhood on Amazon