BxQP

The table was piled high with all the foods that Karen shouldn't eat--roast beef, onion gravy, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob. And, wait--vegetables. Sauteed to perfection in half a stick of butter. Karen was at that moment slathering the other half stick of butter on her corn. Dessert was yet to come. Strawberry shortcake with whipped cream.

It was a Pearson family motto not to leave room for dessert. A real Pearson did not leave room for dessert. A real Pearson made room for dessert. Karen was so much a real pearon that sometimes she wondered if her parents were first cousins.

Her mother pushed the bowl of potatoes, followed by onion gravy, across the table. "You're not getting any younger, dear."

"Yes, mom. I know. That's the way it works. People grow older, not younger." Karen served herself another dab of potatoes and covered them with gravy. She resented her mother for being such a great cook. "Does anyone want that last piece of corn?"

"Maybe you are too picky, sweetheart. Men aren't perfect. They all have faults." Karen's mother looked at her father for confirmation.

"Maybe we're not perfect, but we have our good points too, honey," her dad said. He burped. "We need you women to keep us on the straight and narrow."

Not able to keep herself on the straight and narrow, Karen thought herself highly unqualified to try and manage for someone else. She took the last piece of corn and rolled it in the butter. "Pass the salt, please?"

"Ted is a nice boy. He has a good job. He just needs a woman's influence." Her mother handed Karen the salt.

Rather than weigh the pros and cons of Ted as a life partner, Karen bit into the corn and did a mental calcuation.

Pros: Ted has a job. Ted isn't bald. Ted is breathing.

Cons: Ted snores. Ted drinks too much. Ted tells me I'm fat. Ted can't stand to look at me when we make love. Ted finds watching the Seahawks more interesting than talking to me.

Karen considered putting the bit about the Seahawks as a pro. Ted found all sports more interesting than Karen, but the plus side to that was he would sit in the Lazy Boy for hours talking to his favorite team and Karen could almost pretend he wasn't there. He could bring home the paycheck. She could lounge around in her PJs all day, eat bonbons, window shop in the afternoon and put her purchases on his credit card.

What a deal. For the minor inconvenience of learning to cook, having sex once a week and putting up with some minor background noises--Seahawk fans cheeking on the team, burps, and farts--Karen could give up her job at the diner and live happily ever after.

So, two days later, during halftime, when Ted was a little tipsy and asked her to marry him, Karen said, "Sure, why not?"