Book Break: How Then Shall We Live? by Wayne Muller

I began reading How Then Shall We Live: Four Simple Questions That Reveal the Beauty and Meaning of Our Lives by Wayne Muller at the beginning of July. It challenged me to think about four simple questions.

Who am I?
What do I love?
How shall I live knowing I will die?
What is my gift to the family of the earth?

Four simple questions.

The author wrote this book as a guide to meditate on these questions. As a way to think about the normal days events. Reading this book was like having a very personal conversation with someone whose company I liked. I never felt preached to or told what I needed to do to be better. Instead I meandered through the pages. Reading and rereading. Underlining and making notes.

I was given this book by the woman that is my mentor at work. She had read it for a training she went to and felt that the insights provided in the book were good ones for those of us that worked with her to contemplate. Two years ago she lost her young son in a tragic motorcycle accident. He was adamant about donating his organs and made his wishes known to his family and so they made sure that was honored. Since that time she has dealt with profound grief over losing her child and yet maintained a strength about her and a focus on living her life and making sure some good could come out of her grief and loss. She has spoken for medical professionals about the importance of dealing with families going through a traumatic loss and others who are considering organ donation or whose families have been touched by organ donation. Just a few weeks ago she met the woman who is her sons liver transplant recipient. A woman her age. A woman who’s life was changed as a result of her sons death and her families decision to follow through on his wishes. I admire her greatly.

It’s gentle urgings opened my mind, my eyes and my heart to contemplate some things I hadn’t taken the time to consider.

The third question addressed in the book is, How shall I live knowing I will die? In this section Muller speaks of framing our life with the knowledge that we will die. He challenges to the reader to say every day…I could die today. This simple statement makes every moment a holy moment. Recently, I had two very sick children. Alone, for the most part, I took care of them and myself. Many nights I would wake up numerous times to check temperatures. Administer medicine. Sit with a cold cloth on a head that was burning up. In these moments frustration could have set in and a few times it did. In those moments I was reminded of this passage. I would gently say to myself, “I could die today”. In that instance the whole scene was transformed for me. Instead of struggling with lack of sleep I was profoundly grateful for the opportunity to nurse my precious daughters. Instead of the frustration of doing this alone I was abundantly grateful for the ability to do it at all.

Muller writes, “Thus it is with a life framed by death. With death as it’s companion, each moment of life becomes instantly more compelling.”