by Shelbia C.
Member since:
November 19, 2006

In the Park

July 05, 2008 03:59 AM EDT (Updated: July 29, 2008 10:07 PM EDT)
views: 50 | comments: 20

In the park
a chubby pink child
rests on a bench
in her mother's arms,
eating long strands of blond hair
in affectionate clumps,
and staring at embracing lovers
who smile back.

In the park
pompous pigeons strut about
as a broken statue looks on,
and a harried squirrel
harbors fall in subtle piles
amid the golden leaves.

In the park
a slouching figure
leans against a naked tree
casting silent autumn shadows
that look something like me.

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Comments: 20

Thomas W. Jul 5, 2008, 4:22am EDT
i wish i could infect you with Light.
first, i'd have to contract It.
this is our conundrum:
i may be immune.
J W. Jul 5, 2008, 6:28am EDT
good poem
Kushal Poddar Jul 5, 2008, 8:47am EDT
i hope everything turns for positive.
by the way the poem is great
poetrandy R. Jul 5, 2008, 10:00am EDT
Great poem, Shelbia!
Amy H. Jul 5, 2008, 10:43am EDT
Thank you for submitting your content to:
The group: We Comment Back
Michelle W. Jul 5, 2008, 10:53am EDT
Very melancholy. Nicely done.

be well
Amadeus M. Jul 5, 2008, 3:12pm EDT
The poem has strong strains and I thought it good - except for the repetition of 'In the park' I think it can be distracting and am not sure the poem needs it. I especially love the line about the squirrel.
Rony J. Jul 5, 2008, 9:29pm EDT
Great use of words
thank you for sheering
libramoon C. Jul 6, 2008, 2:22am EDT
A lovely park for perspicacious poets
Shelbia C. Jul 6, 2008, 3:22am EDT
thank you all for the compliments and comments. I wasn't sure about this piece myself. I thought perhaps it was too simple. I am glad you guys like it.
Shelbia C. Jul 6, 2008, 3:27am EDT
C.F. My head swells everytime visit Gather. I have learned to suck in my cheeks and duck when those pesky doorways appear.
Sensational Sadie Sexy Senior Sitizen Jul 6, 2008, 10:27am EDT
Lovely writing. I enjoyed the pictures you painted in words.
Bethany C. Jul 6, 2008, 8:55pm EDT
This is an amazing poem! So simple. So lovely! I enjoyed it!
Patti M. Jul 6, 2008, 10:15pm EDT
Your poems are so vivid. I saw each person in the park. Well done.
(The Other) Dale C. Jul 7, 2008, 2:35am EDT
Oh the thoughts that flow through that young lady's mind. And how she passes them along to all of us! Wonderful talent, to use words so picturesquely.
amy s. Jul 7, 2008, 8:32pm EDT
Sending you a ten because I think you are special. Happy Running of the Bulls day.
Austin Cushing Jul 29, 2008, 12:51am EDT
This comment is to let you know that this content has reached at least five votes and over 8.0 average rating, and as such has been removed from Rating Resurrectionists! Congratulations, and check out this week's Need More Ratings!
William Dotani Sep 25, 2008, 7:57am EDT
Amazing imagery. The ending seemed rather sad.

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