Husbands are Funny Creatures

( This is meant in fun, so if you're easily offended, don't read!)

    Husbands are funny creatures! Not "ha-ha" funny, but just plain baffling ( or weird, you choose).

    When they are single, they're in their larval stage. (Not that I'm suggesting they're worms!) They're in their mating phase: more considerate and willing to go the extra mile to impress you.

    Then they get married. The first year is their cocoon phase. They have wrapped themselves in how they think a new husband should be. Ladies, enjoy this stage, because soon he will discard the bits of that cocoon little by little.

    At last, in his second year of marriage, he emerges from his cocoon. A full fledged husband appears before your very eyes! (and ears. and nose.) A full fledged husband comes with his own sound effects ( which emerge from not one, but TWO orifices; he's multitalented), double jointed thumb for on the fly remote clicking, and a brand new vocabulary for comparing you to dear old mom!

    His immune system also weakens. Whereas before the second year of marriage he would walk around 3 weeks on a broken ankle saying it's "just a sprain", now the slightest cold makes him take to his bed where he emits moans and groans until soup and juice are administered. And he does not get over his cold in the normal 3-5 days, his cold can last ad nauseum.

    But you should feel privileged ladies. Jane Goodall had to live in a tent in a jungle to live with and observe another species.

     All you have to do is peek in your bedroom to see him dancing around in his skivvies, singing "Do ya think I'm sexy"!

(This is republished from my old articles)