Senryu Duo: Suspicion

Fantastic as always Barbra! Not only do your pieces constantly delight me but I am always learning something from you!

Powerful!

Barbra, I like the poem, it says a lot in a little space. However, I am a little confused about the form you have chosen. You've defined it as a satirical form, yet your verses are certainly not satire. So, why Senryu?

Loved learning from this. Liked the two emotions - questioning and angry at what might not even be true. Neat.

So true Barbra, you captured it perfectly.

So succinct, Barbra. And I like the idea of using color to indicate emotion; very nice.

Alison & Alison, Sheila, Cindy, Katherine & Tom, I really appreciate your encouragement. Yes, Cindy, you're right. It is the latter.

Tracey:

I hope I have not erred in anything here, but if I have, I hope that the clarity of the meaning and form of senryu can be established, and if there is error on my part, we can use this as an article of learning.

If I may, I would like to correct you regarding your comment that I had defined this as a satirical form. The definition at the bottom of the article was not mine, but belonged to Jane Reichhold from http://ahapoetry.com/japgloss.HTM/ . I included it for others to see her definition of senryu.

I meant this to be representative of exactly what Sheila, Cindy, and Tom put in their comments:

"questioning and angry at what might not even be true." (Sheila)
"The mind's eye is never completely accurate. I like the switch in colors to suggest mood." (Cindy)
"And I like the idea of using color to indicate emotion;" (Tom)



My explanation at the top was only an explanation regarding what I was hoping to convey. There was no mention by me in that explanation that my writing was satirical; however the interpretation of Senryu by Lorraine Ellis Harr (DRAGONFLY: A QUARTERLY OF HAIKU July `76, Vol. 4, no. 3) below, may have been more appropriate in regard to my writing:

Senryu is:

Intuitive response to our humanness in Nature.
Expanded awareness of our humanness in Nature.
A moment of increased awareness. Intuitive in regard to our foibles as Humans. A simple complication - simply stated.
Deals with Man's imperfections. Quirks, etc.


Why Senryu? I did not feel that it was haiku, and from the readings from the above web sites, I felt that senryu would be more appropriate, since it had to do with human behavior and not nature (season). I may have erred. I thought I had done it correctly, but if not, I hope that one of our members can help us better understand.

Again, thank you so much, Tom, Katherine, Cindy, Sheila, Alison & Alison for your kind words and encouragement.

Thank you Barbra, I understand Senryu much better now from your definition here and I see that your poem is indeed more conducive to that form.

Please understand that I wasn't meaning to point out any error, only to understand the form you had chosen. Now I see it more clearly and I can appreciate your poem even more.

I love how the members of this group are stretching their wings and trying new and even very difficult forms. It's exhilarating.

Barbra, this is a marvelous poem and thank you for introducing a new form. You have, indeed, succeeded in displaying a human foible. It is very vivid with thw two colors.
Brava!!!

Tracey, I agree about the members of this group stretching their wings and presenting different forms of poetry. I see people taking risks, as I did, and offering a vast array of exciting reads.

This will have been a good learning experience for myself and you. I will continue to research other writers' definitions and examples of senryu, and will send you a couple of those links via email. There may be another member of our group that could have some interesting input into this senryu writing also. This was a great prompt word. Thanks!!!

Mary: Bless your heart! Thanks so much. I'm so excited that you got what I was hoping to convey. That's very encouraging!

This is so clever and a true poetry lesson for me ..thank you!

Thank you, Sheila! I'm excited that it was a poetry lesson for you. That's great!

Well, it certainly is a poetry lesson for me Barbra, mine is so old fashioned, you know just thoughts rhyming and a bit of playfulness at times, but I do love this and I do understand the meanings, so very well. Thank you. and thanks for your kind comments on my things about my daughter today, very appreciated, Elsie.

Elsie, I'm delighted that the meanings are clear to you. I appreciate your comments--they certainly mean a lot.

We have all enjoyed your style of writing, too. Your thoughts are important to us. *Look at your following! :)

I was very moved by your having found Tracey's little birth bracelet, and the lovely tribute you wrote to her. I went to bed thinking about the wonder of that find. A new birth is what it represents to me... how lovely!

blossoming poetry! - You're on a roll

Lyrical PASSION:

I value your comments more than you know. There is much to learn from one of your caliber. Thank you so much!

Very good job indeed Barbra.