Letter to Ernie (POW - put)

Dearest Ernie,

I wish to inform you that I am very put out. Yes, I do

believe I smell something putrid in the world of POW.

Your choice of the keyword put this week has left me

sputtering in disgust at my blank computer screen and

wondering if my brain has somehow been amputated.

There are very few words containing put. What's more, I

cannot seem to find a way to put any of them together in

a well-put and sensible way.

Take for instance the word putter. I could talk about  

puttering around the house and finding an old wooden

putter in the closet. But, my input for such a story stops

there as I have no knowledge of golf. (The only putting I

have ever done was on a mini putt-putt course!) In any

case, how many times could I use the word "putt"

without getting points docked?!

And then there is the word compute. Now, I am usually

good at computing numbers, but I think my entry is

supposed to be a composition - not a list of

computations.

Of course, I could try coming up with something about  

putrescent sputum..... but I draw the line at gross. I do

have a reputation to uphold after all. Besides, I really

would prefer not to have to put up with all the putdowns

I would likely recieve for putting out something so

disgusting for people to read.

Finally, there are a few odd but cute words available,

such as putty, liliputian, and kaput. However,

considering that they don't fit well with each other or

any other words, well.... The best I could do with them

was to tell you that my ball of silly putty has now gone

kaput, since squeezing it in my stress has reduced it to

liliputian size.

Honestly, Ernie, I don't wish to start a dispute, or bring

you and this wonderful group to ill repute. I simply wish

to beg you in your reputed genius to please have mercy

and impute to us a keyword that will not cause us to

sputter at our computers in dispair. I am quite certain

that our output would improve if we had more words to

work with.

Sincerely,

Your putative "reigning POW princess"

Kristen D.

putrescent - becoming rotten

sputum - spittle; saliva

impute - ascribe; set to the account of; assign

putative - supposed, reputed