Catching Up With The Banana Splits Today

In their heyday, The Banana Splits were bigger than The Wiggles, bigger than that purple dinosaur, bigger even than Michael Jackson.  The Banana Splits Adventure Hour, syndicated as The Banana Splits and Friends Show, ran for only 31 episodes on NBC from 1968 to 1970.  But what an amazing thrill ride it was!

The Splits were Fleegle (a dog), Bingo (a gorilla), Drooper (a lion), and Snorky (an elephant).  Together they hung around their clubhouse, situated in an amusement park (Hocus Pocus Park), where they rode the Runaway Mine Train rollercoaster, the log flume, the bumper car, and the merry-go-round.  Much time was spent on showdowns with the Sour Grapes Bunch, whose threatening missives would arrive via their "Messenger Girls," who would dance into the Splits' clubhouse wearing go-go attire.

To lessen the tension of the intergang rivalry, animated segments: The Arabian Knights, The Three Musketeers, and Micro Ventures  were frequently aired.  A serial called "Danger Island" was later added.

The Splits would also take off in their Dune Buggy for no particular reason, and hold frequent jam sessions.  Their "Tra La La Song" was particularly well-received.

But the magic seemed to die for the Splits when their animated 1972 series, The Banana Splits in Hocus Pocus Park, failed to take off.  Their many fans lost interest, particularly with the advent of Superfriends. 

Where is this famous quartet now?  Our team of investigative journalists has been dispatched to track them down.

Fleegle:  A Journey of Self-Discovery

We meet Fleegle at a farm in Upstate New York

Gather Reporter:  Can you tell us what's changed the most for you in the last 35 years?

Fleegle:  Woodstock.  It changed everything.

Gather:  Woodstock?

Fleegle: Woodstock was not a concert. This was a coming together. What the Byrds called a Tribal Gathering. We came together in Bethel. Yes, like Bethlehem, this was a meeting of the essence of the thing. The music was just the background music of our lives. We were doing what great men like our High Priest Timothy Leary had led us to do.

Gather:  I was not aware that The Banana Splits had played Woodstock.

Fleegle:   No...we didn't...not in the sense that we were on the stage.  But we were there.

Gather:   And, since Woodstock, can you tell us a bit more about what you've been doing, since the show ended as well?

Fleegle:  What I have been doing is unnamable, unseeable, meta-organic.

Gather:  Okay, sure.  Anything else you want to add for the fans, Fleegle?

Fleegle:  My name is now Ricochet.

Bingo:  A Coming Out Into Being

We meet with Bingo, who now goes by the name Ben Galloway, at his apartment on the Upper West Side of New York City, along with his partner of 28 years, Adam Gurowitz, and their teenaged daughters, Martha and Cynthia.

Gather Reporter:  Can you tell us what's changed the most for you since the break-up of the band?

Bingo:  (Laughs) Well, that was such a different phase in my life...it's just hard to relate to it now.  It was fun in so many ways...I mean, living in an amusement park.  But at the same time I was terrified that one of the guys would find out I was gay, that I would be caught watching Drooper undress.  And I had to pretend the Sour Grapes girls were a turn-on.

Gather:  So, it must have been a relief for you when it ended.

Bingo:  In many ways yes, although the money was fantastic, of course (laughs).

Gather:  I know that you are in investment banking now.  Do you miss a more creative lifestyle?

Bingo:  Not really.  I still have my music, and the girls play musical instruments as well.  But I'm not a kid anymore.  And I never could stand that dune buggy.

Drooper:  Obey Your Rulers

We meet with Drooper at his impeccably clean ranch house in Upper Arlington, Ohio.

Gather Reporter:  Tell us a little bit about your life today.

Drooper:  I became a minister in the Church of God over 30 years ago.  That's about all there is to say.  I notice you have a "No More War" bumper sticker on your car.

Gather:  That's right.

Drooper:  I have watched President Bush's actions with a discerning eye and lined things up with the Word of God.  Most of what he has chosen to do in this war makes perfect sense in light of Biblical end times prophecy. 

Gather.  Hmmmm.

Drooper:  Romans 13:1-7 says "Obey the rulers who have authority over you!"  Only God can give authority to anyone, and he puts these rulers in their places of power.  Rulers are a threat to evil people, not good people! (shouting).

Gather:  So, we should have obeyed Saddam and Hitler then?

#*$*)))$$$) -- sound of microphone being cut off as Gather Reporter is evicted from Drooper's house.

Snorky:  Strange Days Indeed

We catch up with Snorky in a tiny, oppressively hot set of rented rooms in Freetown, Sierra Leone.  (Gather was kind enough to subsidize this trip.)

Gather Reporter:  Snorky, why are you living here?

Snorky:  (Sighs)  I'm adopted....

Gather:  Adopted?  From Africa?

Snorky:  Yes.  My parents brought me over from Freetown when I was a baby.  Problem is, they never had me naturalized.  They didn't think they needed to.  I was their kid, right?

Gather:  What happened?

Snorky:  After the 'Splits broke up, I got a couple of solo singing contracts.  Finally, I got hired for the Barney show.  I bought a nice car, a 280zx, and got pulled over for speeding.  Cops found some marijuana in my car.  A misdemeanor.  Pay a fine, no big deal.  But then someone said, wait, you're not an American.  I was like...what?  What are you talking about?  Of course I'm an American!  But as it turns out...here I am.  I got deported for that marijuana.

Gather:  Snorky, man, I had no idea.

Snorky:  Yeah, it sucks.

Gather:  Could I get you to sign this t-shirt?