by Anna Cellmer
Member since:
December 9, 2006

I'm beside you still

May 20, 2007 02:57 AM EDT (Updated: December 07, 2007 12:36 PM EST)
views: 477 | comments: 42

You may not feel my touch
Lying in your bed at night
After your always busy day
When you are tired
 
You may not see me
Watching your sleepy eyes
Just beneath your losing dream
When you are waking up
 
You may not share with me
Some of your daily things
You simply live by
During your cheerful life
 
But remember
That no matter what you do
And if things are going
Up or down
You can be sure
That I'm here
For you
 
My heart never lies to me
So you know
That I'm always beside you
And I feel with this so good
That nothing can change
This simple truth
That I belong to you
 
And that there is nothing
More precious on this world
To me
Than our story of love
And our dream we drowned both
And  you with me somehow
Together
In our dream world finding trip
Forever

 

 
So, you know me now
And I'm so bared beside you
Even living so far still
Yet close enough
To feel your breath inside me
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Comments: 42

Jeff R. May 20, 2007, 5:00am EDT
Wonderfully written, it was well worth the read. Thank you!
Anna Cellmer May 20, 2007, 5:17am EDT
Thank you Jeff I'm happy you like it, it's also very nice to meet you :)
Anna Cellmer May 20, 2007, 2:09pm EDT
Thank you for such wonderful comment Dan :)
David Salyer May 21, 2007, 8:45am EDT
Very nice. I really enjoyed this one.
Otelia S. May 21, 2007, 12:16pm EDT
Souds like somebodys' in love. Great poem.
Anna Cellmer May 21, 2007, 12:25pm EDT
Thanks :)
Diane D. May 27, 2007, 7:41pm EDT
Beautiful.
Alison Pearce Jun 12, 2007, 5:29am EDT
This as so well written and touching.
Shelbia C. Jun 15, 2007, 12:42am EDT
I think this poem is beautiful.
Lady Rm Jun 19, 2007, 3:35pm EDT
Beautifully written and carefully carved like a composer's music sheet. I love the way you've connected your words, each syllable embracing the other, but I especially adore that stanza five had the power to capture me spiritually.
Anna Cellmer Jun 19, 2007, 4:08pm EDT
Thank you all beautiful friends for your wonderful comments you always make my day :)
Sue D. Jun 21, 2007, 9:48am EDT
There is something about watching the man we love sleep....
Stan H. Jun 21, 2007, 12:16pm EDT
This is a well written piece. The woman is totally in love-sweet.
I have never heard it come from a lady written like this.
Enjoyed it. Thanks. Keep your passion burning.
Anna Cellmer Jun 21, 2007, 12:35pm EDT
Thank you for visit Sue and Stan :) I'm happy you enjoyed it
Phylis S. Jul 2, 2007, 10:59pm EDT
A very beautiful and touching poem Anna.
Jodi V. Jul 4, 2007, 9:50pm EDT
You poem took me back to the days of watching my husband sleep. Bittersweet memories... We are no longer together, but I dream of finding another man for whom to someday feel this kind of longing and love. Thank you for capturing this feeling so sweetly. I look forward to reading more of your work.
enjoyed reading your poem kind of made me wonder If there should...or could be an answer to it from the sleeping man............... !.
Luna Rushdi Jul 8, 2007, 3:23pm EDT
Hi Anna, really nice poem. Thanks so much for the read.
Heather L. Jul 11, 2007, 9:22am EDT
Beautifully written thank you for sharing
Alkistis Wechsler Jul 12, 2007, 1:51pm EDT
Full of sincere feelings!
Karen W. Jul 14, 2007, 3:19pm EDT
While I'm sure the feelings are sincere, I don't believe the words carry the strength of the emotions as powerfully as they could.

And that there is nothing
More precious on this world
To me
Than our story of love

Is really pretty cliche sounding. And well....a bit too precious.


And our dream we drowned both
And you with me somehow
Together
In our dream world finding trip
Forever

The grammar in this, the way the sentences are constructed are also confusing. For instance: "In our dream world finding trip/ Forever" just plain confounded me.

Anyway, I respect the effort and emotion that went into the making of this draft, but it would still need some work to be better if you would like it to be an original poem.
Anna Cellmer Jul 19, 2007, 4:41am EDT
Thanks for all kind words and for constructive critic as well :)
leeann g. Jul 31, 2007, 3:37am EDT
written like a pro!
mad props to the writer!
Fiona "not my real name of course" V. Aug 1, 2007, 6:08pm EDT
Ahhh..beautiful..a love story indeed! well done..thanks for sharing...
Kylee S. Aug 3, 2007, 5:47pm EDT
Hi
love it,love it,love it. I could feel the heart and soul in this piece.
Thanks for sharing.
Solange S. Sep 4, 2007, 9:57am EDT
damn, i believe i found some poetry! thank you a million thank yous
And that there is nothing
More precious on this world
To me
Than our story of love
And our dream we drowned both
And you with me somehow
Together
In our dream world finding trip
Forever>>

i especially loved this verse

and you nailed the ending!!! applauding ova here
Anna Cellmer Sep 4, 2007, 10:03am EDT
thank you all I'm so very happy you like it
Anna Cellmer Sep 5, 2007, 10:38am EDT
Thank you Bruce :) and welcome here :)
Claire C. Sep 13, 2007, 1:22am EDT
That is so touching. I know I have those same feelings even when my husband is snoring away and I have insomnia.

Fate and Destiny
Paul J. Sep 16, 2007, 10:42pm EDT
Anna, very well written and beautifully phrased. It is evident to me that LOVE is involved in this awesome poem.

I like it very much.

This is my first visit to your writings. I shall return again and again.

pj
Kathy W. Dec 7, 2007, 12:25pm EST
lovely.
thank you
Wilka
Glome . . . Apr 23, 2008, 9:59pm EDT
I'm just now catching up with poems on this site. You've don a really wonderful job on this. I will enjoy reading your other works. Thank you.
Karoline L. May 20, 2008, 9:06pm EDT
very pretty and well said.
Photobucket
Cynthia Mayhew May 22, 2008, 6:23pm EDT
"my heart never lies to me" Love that.
Beverly P. Jun 2, 2008, 1:00pm EDT
very beautiful.. thanks for sharing
Joey Everington Jul 21, 2008, 12:56am EDT
so good to read again and again
Terry Collett Oct 13, 2008, 1:29pm EDT
just like a good love should be and more!
Anna Cellmer Oct 14, 2008, 3:55am EDT
thank you so much for coming :)
Erica Hidvegi Dec 11, 2008, 10:33pm EST
At this time with the holidays and all and the love of my life of a deacde walked away . . . this was soooooooo appropriate to ease my wounded heart. Thank you so much Anna C.
Happy Holidays to you and yours !
PURE GOLDen sun in Ohio
Steven Tucker Aug 29, 2009, 11:14am EDT
Beautiful.
Pamela G. Sep 7, 2009, 7:57am EDT
What a lovely piece. Tx for sharing.
Van N. Oct 15, 2009, 2:42am EDT
Beautiful written!

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