I resolve to elicit acceptance in my life

So often, as a new year approaches, I have spent my time thinking about what I needed to change, what improvements I needed to bring to my life. Would this be year I finally lost the extra pounds I wasn't happy about? Would this be the year I finally stopped biting my nails? Would this be the year I didn't snap at my kids when I was tired and they were demanding? Would this be the year I worked out my mother issues?

So many "improvements" to make, so little time to actually work on them, with children to raise and a career to focus on. So each year, I would choose a resolution, work really hard at it for a few weeks, then lose it amongst all the other responsibilities I was swimming in on a daily basis. These "lost" resolutions always lead to feelings of guilt, and further feelings of improvement being needed.

They say that life begins at 40, and I sure hope so because that's where I find myself this new year. The past few years have seen changes I would never have expected, and had I expected them, changes that would have terrified me. What I've learned from all of this is that nothing in life is permanent, and that no matter how hard you work at something, it could still not turn out the way you want it to.

With all of these experiences and lessons shoring me up, I'm setting my course on a new path with this year's resolution. No more vows to change this or improve that. This year I resolve to accept my world, my life, myself as is. I resolve to look at my life on a day-to-day basis and to accept it. This is my life, the one I'm living today, and I'd better get busy enjoying it before it's too late.

Certainly there will still be things that will need improving. I don't mean acceptance in terms of settling for less than the very best I can achieve. I will continue to set goals for myself, to strive to reach those goals, and to do my part to leave the world a little better place when I'm gone. But I accept the fact that I need to do that from where I am today. No more living for the future, for a time when things will be better, easier, more conducive to doing what needs to be done.

Each morning is a fresh opportunity for me to do the very best I can do, at whatever it is I am working toward. My circumstances may never be what I hoped or wished for, but if I bring acceptance into my life, my circumstances will be just fine. If I can accept myself, my situation, my resources, then I can make a true assessment of what is necessary and of what actions need to be taken. Acceptance can lead me to find my purpose, reach my goals, and live my life one day at a time. I'm not a perfect person, but then who among us is? Acceptance allows me to be okay with my flaws and to take pride in my strengths.

So, maybe this year I will continue to chew my fingernails down to my knuckles. Maybe I will eat too much cake and not exercise as much as I know I should. Maybe I will still be snappish with my kids when they are too demanding. But I will accept these flaws as part of the life I am living each day. Perhaps by reaffirming these flaws each day, by accepting myself again each morning, I will be better able to focus on these things for longer than a few weeks. With any luck, this acceptance and focus will help me make the improvements that are needed instead of falling back into old patterns and feeling worse than ever.

Wish me luck!