Resolving not to make resolutions

Making commitments to faddish declarations at the start of a new year is one of many traditions that I avoid. Most fads earn the ridicule they later receive, and most traditions deserve the same but receive privileged indulgence due to years of collective denial and hyperbole. Shouldn't we already be nicer, spend more time with loved ones, have more patience, care about our health, and watch our weight and spending, since those have been the top resolutions for generations?

If something strikes me with a resolute need for modification, it makes no sense to wait until the last day of the year and announce that I plan to make the change later. Whether due to impulse, impatience, or fear of forgetting anything I put off, I prefer to just make the change on the date it occurs to me.

In lieu of the resolution list, I offer this review of challenges and accomplishments of the past year, a few highlights that will surely become eternal memories, lessons I learned, and things that wore on my nerves the most.

In 2007, I swam underwater without the sense of claustrophobia that had plagued me in recent years, and learned to see around the flashing lights that curse my vision most days now. I managed my energy and finances well enough to have some of each when I needed them. I laughed everyday, completed a major project that I didn't think was possible when I started it, and developed two relationships that I thought were over.

I learned that haircuts are far too important to trust to the students at the beauty school, more about the computer than I wanted to know, that my ignorance about shading is the reason I have never been successful in my artistic attempts, and that understanding the other person's perspective is important in all discussions. The most disappointing thing I learned this year is that I have a habit of creating greater images for people than they deserve.

The special moments were mostly with the grandchildren. The depth, sincerity, and beauty of a granddaughter's do you ever cry because you are just so happy discussion will be with me forever. Regardless of what my grandson becomes in life, I will always see him in the role he played this summer. He epitomized fake it until you make it and if you can dream it you can be it by performing his way to the all stars baseball team. The other granddaughter's proud, animated reading of Pollyanna will generate smiles for the rest of my life.

The biggest challenges I faced this year were helping a friend deal with a newly diagnosed condition without referring too much to my similar problems, and sorting empathy from reality. I have had a hard time laughing at things that rest heavy on my nerves. I will list a few and see if you guys can either help me understand, or find humor in them again.

1) Where are the zero-tolerance-for spankers people and why aren't they crazy-in-the-streets-angry over the torture issue?

2) How can people believe in God but not in UFOs?

3) Who decided that no sentence is complete without the word basically in it, and that the words moving forward should replace in the future, later, henceforth, tomorrow, and I don't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about but thought I'd spit out this worn phrase and see if it will impress you?

4) Why am I stuck for hours on a sentence like: She rolled down the window? I picture undulations on glass, wonder if roll is the correct term for automatic windows, hope she didn't get hurt, think the sentence should be rewritten . . .

5) How do I resolve the conflict in logic that I feel when Jamie Lee Jones asks me to show more concern for her rape than she has shown for the way the company she chose to work for has raped all of us?

6) Am I the only person left who knows the difference between the words ax and ask?

In summary, 2007 was a fun, successful year for me. I thank all of you who made me laugh, made me think, cared about me, informed and entertained me, and befriended me. I wish you a happy, peaceful, love-filled, and successful 2008.